windthread

day 2.    Trying to load this one simple pic.   and repeats of this one simple pic.   what appears on the screen:

Image Proxy.  HTTP error   Unknown Image Proxy error

this happens now and then and usually if i just have patience,  wait an hour or so and try again,  things just return to normal.   Sometimes it takes waiting longer.      This time….i began early in the day yesterday.   Then off and on.   Then over and over every little while for the last hours of yesterday,   thinking….any minute.       Then i just went to sleep.    First thing this morning,  try again and      still.    So…will give up for now.    Try to find out what that Image Proxy thing is.   Maybe fill out a Typepad Help Ticket….but they take days.

so…just to say…

FRIDAY EVE:

Help Ticket filed.

in comments,   Beth again speaks of ad blocker issues.   For her,    196 pop ups         then,  Deb L  says just posting comment was hard. 

so,  QUESTION:     How pervasive are these two issues?    And,   are there others?

And,  to note     when tapping image above      to enlarge    it comes up correctly rotated.   ?????????

Enough for today.    This eve Feed,  filling the water tubs….again….this small frog watches.   I want to talk about this.

second day in a row and i give.     There were many words.   yesterday.    then this eve, too.    an hour or so ago and all disappeared as well as this image above.   So….i give.     Yesterday, also this laptop crashed.   Alyssia gave a temporary fix it seems?   

here we are now tho.    This image,  which is a photograph,  do not have attribution….but is so magical….appears as maybe a pastel drawing?    But no.    and past all the lost words,   to me,  it's proof of the god Thing as i imagine the god Thing to be…Brilliant and  Joyfull….those blackwhiteblackwhite blackwhite antennae even….

am feeling a little bit crazy and that's ok.   There's this Being.   it's real.

out back at the juncture of hardware splitters for hoses,   where i go twice a day every day.    There are Nine.   I'd watched since they were birth seedlings,   those two propeller leaves,   then     seeing them become      Tomatoes

just down from the greywater  pipe.   Volunteers….seeds must have flowed out with waste  water    taken hold ,  set root.    I thought about how i'd not granted them much because they are not in a " good place"…are in this stoney  shady slope,  will probably   "come to nothing"….as in ….no blossoms,  no tomato        But really,   they are miracles.   Their WILL .    just as they are….Enough.    I celebrated.

Friday.   Had to be at Alyssia's  driveway in town at the ungodly hour of 7:40  am.    so i could follow her to Emrie's school  for the morning Assembly when Emrie would be receiving Student of the Month Award.    As i closed the Big Gate,    there…..MANY blooms of Madia.       BLOOMS.     Any time before that in the last month or so,  if i had been asked,  i would have said….NO,  they are finished now.   Because when i leave here around 11  am,   all the blossoms are closed and bent and tight into themselves

but this morning

they were     OPEN.   Faces UP to the Sun that was rising…..not in profusion as in the Spring,   but enough…Many…..Facing  up and out and BeautyFull.   and i thought to take a pic  but was worried about time so decided to do that when i got back

and then      i got back      and  it was a whole different Picture….no blooms….all pinched close and looking dried

and this.

this is what i love knowing now,  in these days,   how  there's so much i don't really know that i think i know,   that i don't know.

these last several days….THINGS….and too much.   I      need      days of       what might seem to be      nothing.   But are

open ness,    a  space.    an   open    quiet   space.     I can bring  all      from these days,  slowly and gently and sit with them,  feel them    see them               how lizards have taught me.     

it's been dangling for  Ever.    

and even tho there is God and Jesus,   there is excitement because the Tooth Fairy will come

Sharon Salzberg's  Election Series    part one.    Anger     Fear    Anxiety

  Beth alerted me to the upcoming publication of Robin Wall Kimmerer's newest book    The Serviceberry    Coming  November 19th.   This,  from the blurb on Amazon:   

Our economy is rooted in scarcity, competition and the hoarding of resources and we have surrendered our values to a system that actively harms what we love.   Meanwhile,  the Serviceberry's relationship with the natural world is an embodiment  of reciprocity,  interconnectedness  and gratitude.   The tree distributes it's wealth,  it's abundance of sweet juicy berries to meet the needs of its natural community and this distribution insures its own survival.   As Kimmerer explains,  "Serviceberries show us another model,  one based on reciprocity,  where wealth comes from the quality of your relationships,  not from the illusion of self sufficiency.  "

so.    I mark the day here.    Between now and this coming spring,  i will find where i can get locally grown treelings.   Serviceberry is native  so i look forward to this.   Plant them   where they will  initiate Intention.   

photograph from Google Search

it just happened again.    last night and then just now….all these words here  and when i push publish,   go look,   they are Gone.  Will accept it this time.   

the girls are seven.   the other day i overheard talk of God and Jesus.     I asked Emrie where she had heard of these things and she said      TikTok.      Well.   OK then.      So,  last night and then just now i wrote a lot of words about God,  the god thing….and i guess i'm just supposed to leave it alone.    This picture is enough.     is from Rumania       Fistolin Liviu