windthread

i went today to participate in Alzs B's multidisciplinary care plan meeting at the old folks home. BUT/AND somehow, hadn't been notified that it had been postponed till next week. so ok. and while i was in the Diningroom getting her a glass of Cranberry juice, Tomas, who really doesn't know me, but kind of does, in the same way i know him, just from
seeing each other around town over the years, Tomas snags me by the refrigerator.  he really WANTS some red chili.  with MEAT.  he really wants some.  i ask if he can eat it????  it's hot.  might not be good for him.  he doesn't know, he says, but he really wants some.  can i make some.  bring it.  i tell him i will ask his nurse and if she says ok, then yes.  i will make some.  bring it.  ok.  and his nurse says "why not?"  so, ok.  i bought some pork.  i will make the red chili.   Dry red chili powder and flour.  2 to 1 spoons,  "toasted" in the grease of the pork meat till it gives its fragrance.  add water…however much you think,  oh, and i forgot the garlic…sauteed with the pork.  so add however much water.  and then turn heat down.  let it simmer so slow.  with a cover.  let it simmer so slow till there is a very thin skin all across the top.  Yes.  Done.  Yes.   and it can go on anything.  scrambled eggs.  potatoes.  anything they serve there.  i'll take it to him on Sunday.  ok.

and i went to the little Flea Market on the way.   not a Great Flea Market, but an ok one.  and a guy, i was going to say, an old man, but then realized he might not be that much older than me, a guy/old man had a good stainless steel pot.  with lid.  $5  ok.  and he says for Soup and i say no, goat cheese and it goes from there.  his sister in Mexico makes cheese and sends it up to him from there.  we talk about how the goats there are just Free.  not like here.  but free there means a lot of different things and we talk about that.  Free for Good.  Free for Bad.  and i buy the pot.  it's very good.

and i planted these last week.  if things go ok, there is Time.  and they will give fruit when it's time to store them through the cold months….we'll see

planted them in 4 places.  They are "up".

and i did some very SMALL things on this cloth.  i finished the Universe's Moon's rim with 3 stacked stitches around

and i continued the dark marks on the Lizard cloth with stitch.  this was particularly good.  extending them.  

and i made more scattered Karma seeds.

really SMALL things.  but important to the Whole.  it might be finished now?  will look in the morning.

And….i spent time with the Goats.  All of them.   We are at a point of Critical Mass.  it might go one way and it might go another.  No one knows.  We will need to just

See.

a day with no sense of definition.  Really.  and it's odd.   in the least, days have a sense to them that links them with their calendar names…monday…beginning    wednesday, middle of week,  then friday, the weekend days.  but today, for the first time in my life, i really have to THINK.  What day is it?   ……….

i honestly, in this exact moment of typing these words here, i actually, DON'T KNOW.  the computer screen tells me it's  8/22.  ok….over at the calendar on the wall, i see that 8/22 is…..a Thursday.  ok.

but without that map of the calendar, without the little thingy at the bottom of this screen that says time and date,  i really wouldn't have Any Idea.  none.  first time for this.  What does it mean?  Is it a Worry?  i don't know.  it's starting to get DARK.

Today i put the does Grace and Barbara, who is really, a Little Bit of Whimsey, on Craigslist.  i also put the little ones.  got one  response already, asking for more info.  I got a phone call from Bear Island in Maine, from Alz B's son.  just checking.  and giving the Betty report, i then heard about Osprey's and Eagles on that Island.  i hadn't realized, but it's a very small island.  Bill's wife Nelia's family is the only home owners there.  otherwise there is a Lighthouse.  Bear Island Maine.  Nelia's grandfather bought this island.  bought it.  no one else is there.  Bill and Nelia and Nelia's family go there .  2 weeks every summer since Nelia was an infant.  ????????????????????????????????????

so…

and Arctica, the only horned doe goat got stuck again, just moments ago.  i go out there, fence cutters in hand, but now, i am used to it, so i take advantage of it.  Ordinarily she doesn't let me touch her.  but Stuck,  she gets really still.  Tonight, i petted her.  spent time.  her stuck and knowing it,  me knowing it and taking advantage of it.  so, we spent time.  just quiet.  me touching her.  Her, standing still and allowing it.  having learned a little, i had a collar ready on the ledge by the door.  and while all the above was going on,  i put the collar on her.  she doesn't care.  BUT it means i have 

MORE ACCESS to her.  i can grab hold of that collar.  for instance, when she is preoccupied with eating, and i can hold her.  HOLD her.  

Do I Want To Do That???  i'm not sure.  but, now i can.   when she's not stuck in the fence, she RUNS from touch like it's acid.  When in the fence, she's Soft.  she's just OK with it.  WHAT IS THAT?????   I have been giving her sesame seed crispy things….out of the blue.  she likes them.  they are salty.  she'll come to me to get one.  but….that's bribery.  somehow i want something different.  i want no intermedary.   will it ever work?  don't know.

and i talked to Nurse Cindy from the Old Folks Home who no longer works there.  She called and we talked about her old job, her new job about using vinegar to clean the algae from the goat tubs.

and the day feels like it is adrift.  like a day with no connection.  a day floating, alone, just its Self.

and i stitched thread beads of Karma.  falling from the Flower.  i don't know what i think.  i'll look at it awhile.  i don't know

not the day i Wanted, but the day i got.   Morning was yet one more thing to do for the Old Cowboy.  took till noon.  Home and…..

there was an explosion of water, like a FOUNTAIN from the pipe leading into the water thingy for the toilet.   BACK to town to explain to hardware guys.  they sell me something, run through the installation.  ok.  Home again and i get to the place where i need to remove with the Crescent wrench and i remember all the times that because of the calcification,  things have gone wrong.  So.  i call Paul the guy who does Everything and he is working nearby and will come in a couple hours.  No Water in House.  Waiting.  which is my least favorite thing of all.  hours pass.  more than a couple.  i call Paul again… "EEEEEeee, I spaced it out"…ok  in a half hour.  Whaa.  and the part i got is not the thing i need so Paul will come back in the morning.

so i spend that time waiting, playing with the colors.

they look different, horizontally.

and i notice this.  which i'll set aside to use in some future cloth….i hadn't seen it before.

and i look around the house

i used to grow these gourds and draw on them

the pods are from the Snake Tree and i will send them to Doris when i find the right box.

and, This Evening…i caught her.  Be sure to click twice to 
Enlarge.

She is quite GRAND! 

for a couple of days, i have been having a conversation with Particia ~ followingthread.wordpress.com  about karma.   and in one of those exchanges i said i don't say much, write much about Karma because it has so many associations to so many people,  i didn't think i could possibly explain my own living sense of it without becoming ,  well,  lost in the explanation.  but, ever since i said that,  i find myself having an Urge to say something about karma.  because i am having a sense of karmic quickening in my life.  and as this evening went on, and i listen to Thunder Man in the distance, drawing closer and closer,  i got the thought that i would like to just SAY,  i am going to

talk about Karma.   in the same way i would talk about the Moon and the Sun.  Wind.  like that.  and just see what it feels like.   this Interests me.  

and following that thought, i am looking again at the lizard cloth, the cloth of the Personal Moon 

and i had an urge to put this there

see it?…the flower in the Upper Left?   so….what if there is this personal moon that is in and with the Lizard, the rocks, the plant people and then that Moon of the Universe that sends it's cosmic order.   BUT/AND,  then….What if there is   ~karma~  in this instance,  represented by this flower ??????

this morning, i was feeding the Goats and i was singing, making up a new song and kind of moving to the song and when i filled the last tub i whirled around with a flourish and took steps toward the house  and ran directly into a broken off stickbranch of the dead russian olive.  i have a cut in the bottom "lid" of my left eye, just under the eyelashes…almost a half inch long.  and the corner of my eye hurts too…so it must have gotten some action.  it hurts.   but…somehow my "brain" saw it coming and alerted to close the eye…it happened without warning, in less than a split second,  but my eyeball itself was spared.   this kind of thing has happened before.  and i can only marvel at the brilliant awareness of the physical body and its primal brain.  it's really amazing.

~THUNDER~

it's FAST.  just like that spider.  seems i wake up,  go along, and time to lay down.  for a "minute", then it's UP again.  Repeat.

and to Update, the kids are postponing their trip.  Granddaughter is being PRUDENT.  new.  and well, not to discourage prudence when it rises up for the first time.

More Color

Green Tara.  but then oh, eee,  Her bells…..

When Pink is good.  oh so incredibly elegantly Good.

and now back here.  looking.  with all this Color conversation,  i found self looking with that in mind.  Where would color Go here?  What color?  and Why???????

Early evening, but storms.  2 rainbows already and tho it is now BRIGHT,  there is dark on the Rim.

shower.  floor towel, a Hose Dress, lavender underpants.  the floor.  my feet.

the morning thing i made in Cloth to Cloth…the strip down the front…how it never stops being new when i look…the colors, how they dance into one another…

So..am seeing colors and combinations of colors Everywhere,  all new in the familiar.  it's very wonderful.

They HAVE changed.  the Rocks.  this year, so easy to really see.  the action of Wind, the friction of Sand.  the Exposure to Sun.  they are very different.  and it's not just that i hadn't noticed for a while.  i always notice the rocks in this season.  it's that there has been significant change.   and to think that this is something Out of the Ordinary, i think is incorrect.  i think it's how it is when the Elements 

work

the Planet.  including Us.  We are not static and permanent as we are in any moment.  we Change.  sometimes it seems that the change is accelerated.  it might be.  or not.  maybe our awareness is more acute?

the rock in the last photograph now can hold water.  i love this.  how…., unseen by me, something…a spider, a lizard, a wasp could come there and drink.

turn of events.  had planned on continuing, but something Goaty was roiled up in the stars and the Goats were BAD.  Carolyn called and called and called.  almost non stop.  which makes me on EDGE.  but her kids are driving her NUTS.  eeeee.

and then early afternoon, there was SUDDEN total preoccupation in the Island weeds in the Way Back.  Arctica got stuck (the one with horns?, Buckwheat's sister?) TWICE and i had to cut her free and then Magic somehow got INTO the Island.  i guess under the fence..???, but was IN there and everyone else was admiring her status from that and…..  so, i had to go take Ona's collar off her and put it on Magic and she WOULD NOT COOPERATE because she had no idea what was going on and i again, was not patient and  was not just standing there till i could help her understand, so it turned out that we wrestled our way to the little gate.  i prevailed, but barely.  it's amazing how STRONG a Goat is.  and the rest of the day i worked on how to shore up that fence.  it might end up being to no avail in the end but i need to try

and i did find the above before all this went into motion.  GOOGLEd  and there it was…is not  scholarly but i like it a LOT.

so..tomorrow's another day.

a day of stitching, but then Undoing it.   and in between,

left to right.   the horrible pink linen blouse scrap.    then in the Walnut vat for half a day.   and Last, oh, relief, a full day with an overnight.   and  N.Cal Jude,  this is the vat that the questionable cleaning rag was in.  so, we know it didn't change the character of the vat itself.  ok.

here.   with all the others.  HOW DOES THIS FEEL???????, a horrible pink, a somewhat less PINK with these other colors???  Does it somehow feel ok?   and if not, WHY?  

WHAT EXACTLY is the……….feeling?,  like, Really, grace.   it's a Color.   just a Color.

and here we are again.  Without the pink.  Everything is good.  Peacefull.  comfortable.  

and here.   with all the Belov~ed Onionskin dye cloths on the curtain,  this beauty FULL rust sun design from Joe…Manhandled Threads…Jude's sidebar…it's PERFECT.   He has more…go look.

and late in this day….here she is again.  Earlier, i'd looked for her web.  nothing much there.  a couple strands and that white splotch of Center.  but…no great WEB, like the usual garden spiders.  She's different.   and when i went back while watering late in Dusk,  there she was again,  maybe even FASTER than last eve.  i took maybe well over a dozen pics.  Sure i could capture her with the camera….but…no.  just this much