windthread

i woke this morning after a cool night.  to a cool morning.    finally.   and with a fully formed PLAN i loved so much ,  to send to Kamala Harris.   I thought it was brilliant.   It rose from all about that town in Ohio,  Springfield,   how she could use the complex challenges there to    show    as in,      demonstrate to       the American people how her proposals could       work.    so i made my tea and  continued  thinking and felt so     good        and it was cool ,        and soon i clicked on the fact that this was what i'd been     wondering    a while now,  to understand my recent  uhhhh,   state of mind,  of spirit …..to understand what's happened this summer,   since that evacuation  the second day of July when the days then resulted in the death of the Garden,  when  it just kept being over 100 degrees day unto day and i felt so….Something    i could not name.    But it had hold of me.    So,  thinking all this,   i  did the thing with/for the Goats and Minnow and Puppy,  i waited at Jack's gate for Uno and Dos,  finally coming up and back in to cook…my favorite thing of all….the french fries  and pan fried Snapper   condiments of ketchup and Sriracha for the fries and Elote (no cheese) for the Snapper  and everything was great and i had a very doable To Do list for the day but i would take a quick nap…one of the 20 minute ones      i'd just begun drifting off when there was that unmistakable sound of the FIRE ALERT…..the Watch Duty and almost simultaneously sirens coming up Olive Highway just "over there"…

it was 1 and a quarter miles away from here.   7 acres.   But the sirens multiplied and within minutes an Update of the alert…Air assistance and again almost simultaneously,  the planes flying overhead,  helicopters       skip the middle      within an hour or so had grown to 80 acres but the wind took it in another direction from the Hill  so i looked at the app map….and yes…the yellow of  Evacuation Warning   and yes…here in the OSE zone….Oscar Sam Elephant….but not our number and the call from Alyssia that she was on her way  and when she got here she said that if i went just up to the top of the hill here to that little meadow just over there,  i could watch them do their thing….could see the water and retardant pouring down as they fly in spirals over the Fire   but i didn't want to see it.    I had no will.    I gathered a few things to load if our OSE became yellow.    

a FEW.

a very FEW.      

way less than ever before.    the pencils.  that one spiral drawing book.   the "fire proof"  Go Bag with important papers,  my proof of existence….of a life…..   the Tina quilt,  the Web from LaceLady   my pillow  Batteries and lap top.    That's it except for the above and the 3 little Tay drawings from the Altar.   the Butterfly calendar.     

we sat.   watching the updates,  listening to all going overhead.   Throwing the ball for Minnow.   Keeping Puppy around by talking to her.  Awareness of where Goats were,  ready to call them.  Jenny called from  work in Chico where she was also watching the Fire app….ready to leave.    Jeff picked up Emrie from school.    we watched.  listened.   our ears pricked.   on alert.  and finally,  Forward Progress was stopped at 80 acres          and then after some more time,   Alyssia went home to cook dinner for the kids.   It's  11:11 pm.        Tomorrow i'll Begin Again.

on the rock…. at   the lichen….

when i go there to turn on the hose water every day       recently     there's been a very Small lizard,  just at the top of the rock,  suddenly appearing,   all bright eyed and PRESENT.    I am squatting,  looking out into the doe forest  at the Tree forms and Just Suddenly…..there it is    and we are held with that same energy as with Uno and Dos down at Jack's gate.    i don't know if this is going to turn out to be like that….the      Relationship……but it is often enough now….maybe

Nancy    Pomegranate Trail     Mary Oliver     When i am Among the Trees

as if in direct response to my questions yesterday

an old drawing…from the days of when i was still making the Fiber Figures…many flying women,  dreaming women,   over that vast New Mexico desert landscape.   

i no longer do this…almost all my drawings….they look directly  "into the camera"….??????    What's happened here?????  more like portraits.  of What?   what are they    portraying?    a       groundedness?    is it because i live amidst    TREES?   is it because i am old now?

there is a 

new

very very small lizard.

on the rock just near where i squat to turn on the water of Jack Flash's hose.   nothing    "established"  yet.   But often enough,  that it's            deliberate.    I have come to say here too…..       Hello Friend,    small one.    Hello.    Are you here?    and if i wait,  what seems like too long,  but ends up being long enough,   "they"  appear on that rock…little and bright eyed.   We are      still.  Just like Uno and Dos.   Same.   but a

new one

so…maybe it's all about More of what the Lizards are teaching me………..

there was the "shirt"…..those lines…..just them for a while.    till i realized it was a "shirt".   then…..whose?    different faces.

until     this one.    Have no idea what's going on here.   

of    Maybe    the last of the 100 +  degree days ???      I hope.    An extravagant   Olive    bread dip ….my bread got hard as a rock stale so i ate it with a spoon….needs tweaking…to be juicier

tomorrow begins the balmy 90s

the intricate and particular forms of Live Oak    not just branches    but   forms.  unlike any other.   These too.   Rivers and  Live Oak trees

the last of the four dams

i've wanted to say something…a couple days….about how

last week,   " The  last of the four dams that nearly destroyed the Klamath River salmon populations,  on the California Oregon border was demolished.  Marking a significant victory for tribes and environmentalists who fought decades to restore the river".

the River

is running

FREEEEEEE.

I'd wanted to draw a river.  and kept saying,  i don't know how…and so i didn't   but today looking through that drawing book,  i see this.   I see that in this pic i drew some few feet of       "my creek",   my childhood creek,   my  "mother"…..a creek in Michigan,  part of the Shiawassee River a sister River of all Rivers,   this Klamath River a Grand Sister of All Rivers

water is Life

to celebrate…i will     practice    drawing rivers

• 
• waiting for a return call from the vet.   It's   HOT.   Fan is whirring.   i'm waiting.    I turn the pages on the sketch pad book,  looking and set it down to go do some small something and return and it's still this drawing.   No vet call yet, so  look around and there on the Table is this Prismacolor pencil….French Grey….???   Why?     All my colored pencils are in a fishing tackle box that the kids use.  Somehow,  this one single French Grey was taken and brought in..????    What would happen if i added it ?  and i do and there is   Some   Thing  happening….just so subtle…maybe like a "breathing"?   on her shirt,  the branches,  the tail of the dog              ??????