windthread

just this small thing    and  making food things,   Elote sauce ,   bringing down things from vehicle of that last Friday trip in to the big world….the bag of cat food  from the Feed Store  that because i left  the window open,   Puppy gets  in  and chews a neat hole to self feed  so i duct tape it closed and haul it to the Curry House on the small sled.   and then the wine stocked up from the Dollar Store…Liberty Creek,   cheap but good enough    and the Sheet on Minnow's chair…not so great,  most of it on the ground by morning…a Busy Night for her             so      the lizard.    the lizard says     Listen…..,    Listen.

interviewed possibilities for patching.    beauty a consideration.   Artsy.    until finally accepting the reality that the whole front rim is threadbare and unreliable for a less than delicate dog.   She flings herself on to it.  Catapults herself  off.  

so…the Walnut sheet.  folded in half.   "Tacked" down firmly here in 5 places.   Two sides and 3 along the front.     it's 11:59 pm.  She's been on and off it maybe 6 times in the last 3 hours since dark.   It holds.       Today is the first day of September.  There's October and  then  RAIN will begin.   She won't use it when it's wet.    So…for these days,   it might be just enough.   then….in Spring,  somehow,        Begin Again.   ????

Minnow's chair

in these hot days,  hot nights,   she sleeps outside.   This chair.    she springs from it to guard  the rim of that fenceline down there in the Doe Forest where so much seems to be happening day unto day   night unto night   and she guards.   to come back,  to her chair   and this morning she can't…it's torn.    i want to fix it for her.   if i can.    

 r

the Altar.   Every Thing there.   Down to each twig of salt cedar.   Becoming aware how  memories feel….well   tactile.   In the cloth world we might say…components.       physical somehow.     part of the body.    a new sense of  what i am   "made of"  that i want to learn more about.  

just the other day.     really.   just the other day,  i thought about the WonderBird.   Thought to look at it.   Robe hangs on a hook in that Back Room.  All the time..   Has never been on the Evac list.     ?     I guess because it's Linsey-Woolsey and Evac days are in the 90's?  or so?     i re-think.        As i look today,   WonderBird is faded by time.   

so             Liz found it.   She should be designated World Librarian,  being that brilliant… .she FOUND it….the beginning of the Intention of every day to be March 3,  2013     i never could have found it.   I would have imagined it to be earlier than even this,  but…this….11 years.   Eleven years.     And as i read,  i thought…..WHO wrote all that?,   All those words?   Who     HAD   all those words?   i smiled….ear to ear…my heart…..i smiled at the      Sincerity    of them,   the Earnestness.   At the person who wrote them     Who is so familiar    She lives in New Mexico,   the land of  Horizons,   a Beauty FULL place in the desert.   I know her.

She wrote   "I am thinking it's a very good thing to have given a commitment to  one year.  every day for one year. and at the end of that time if I can come to no good conclusion,   I will just    STOP and be done with it"            

But she didn't stop.    she went     on.   and goes     on.   and she is me.   and here i am.    I am where i WAS   and i am where i am.   

so,   we wonder.   Nancy…Pomegranate Trail. blogspot.com   and probably all of us.   Blogging is kinda old fashioned,  right?  i think so.    and i wondered again today…When Was It?,  that i decided to post every day?   and what was my reasoning   at that time?  

so i went to the Archives to try to find an answer and pretty quickly couldn't…got to 2/2013 and no answer yet and it takes a LOT of battery for that kind of thing  and i saw so much of the Other Life i had that quickly pulled me in to a deep nostalgia which wasn't where i was intending to go

i think i remember it as…..There's SomeThing.   Some Thing.  every day.   that is Beauty Full or just        noteworthy,       

and to honor that…to "say" it,   every day.  ????   Something like that?   

and i think….today….is this not still true?

this little acorn…interrupted….right outside the door …..              had it continued as it  "should",,  would be 3 times as big   but it didn't,  it fell for some reason      but,   just outside the door and i saw it first thing this morning

in it's Perfection

the smallest lizard i have ever seen.    Tiny.    just in front of Jack's water tub,  so     NEAR   me….approaching me and then,  skittering away'

so 

tiny

there's something about fray      that i love.    so i leave it.      but now…this season coming,  maybe now.   I'll sit with it a while.

the gate.     i drop Jack's feed over and he eats while i lean into the gate.   the pallet   is just ahead,  maybe 3ft away.  against the trunk of the Old Pine.     on either side of the old tree there's  branches and twigs,  plants and beyond,  that's Jack's tent house,  his  rain shelter.  It's a tarp.   The back fence is maybe 40 ft away.

The vague shades of blue are spaces where,  aside from the trunk of the Tree  they will appear.       So i go there,  every morning.  Drop the grass hay and call out….Hello    Friends      Are you here?     Sometimes they're  waiting for me.  During late spring and early summer,  often on the pallet.   But when they're not,  i call and wait,   scanning all the blue places for any small movement.  and i mean small.  the turn of a head.   small.   It's  one of the incredibly beauty full lessons they've taught me…to    see the slightest hint of motion ….and Wait.    Then they come close.  To the trunk of the tree,  to the pallet.  To the branch that curves down.   They show me other things.   The difference between Leaping and Jumping,   playing,  disappearing and reappearing  and most important,   how to WAIT.   How things Take Time.         And how this happens,  i'm not ready to try to give words to it.   With them,  there is no language…just  uhhh,   a Full Space of Being  that includes us within it.   I thought this morning,  maybe a little like that FeltSense.   ?   sorta,  but also not .   Because it doesn't belong to me,   but is someThing that comes into existence between Us.  New each time.   

maybe 20 minutes,   all this…sometimes more.   and then i say  I love you.   Thank you.   May we be Safe.    Gentle Day.   And i go off  ….to practice what i've learned in other ways.