windthread

• 
• it started like this

• 
  
• un intended.         Just being,  morning Being.     Looking at nothing.   Being  lost in thought.   and then
• noticing
• this magic show just right before my eyes.      and      This is    what i mean by "magic".    Real things        that     occur unintended,  un imagined ,  so often   Missed
• i want to Open my Self to the possibility of their occurrence …in any moment,   IF   i  can learn to be  present to receive.

how there is so much beauty….just small things…"small"  things…like how these things,  hanging together on that pvc pipe curtain rod  across this "room"            the Michelle dress and a shirt received in the mail….,   their colors first this morning and then deepening/lessening/deepening  throughout the day,    watching that happen ,   how the Sun illuminated Michelle and changed the relationship of the two  

there is Beauty  and    peace     that arises from     that     Beauty   that is Given and just Arises and 

for you

if  you take the time to notice

since it wasn't happening,   i thought           Why Not?    Just to feel what it would be like?

Very taken by the image for many reasons,  some of which are unknown to me.   But i want to repeat the drawing.   I know from my experience with repeating that it doesn't happen.    That first One    ,   the one that has the magic,   almost is impossible to re create.  for me, anyway.   So i don't try.    But this time….this one…..i want to let my hand learn as if it is part of me.   I want to try and try until i know what it is that creates the serenity.   it is such a simple image but working with it the first time today,  i see how just the most subtle  touch of the pencil  MATTERS

this is on one of the cardstock blank greeting cards.   That in its self makes a big difference.   The original is in that spiral drawing book of high quality cardstock pages that i remember to be described  as oatmeal.   and as i worked today,  i understood why i remember. it's the light color.    There is no identifier  on it.   I have looked for years to find more.    So these cardstock cards will never have that luminous quality.   But…the hand can still learn.   Today,  so much already.   It's all taking me where i need to go.  

the butterfly,   from a long time ago.   Colored Pencil.    it took a lot of time.  Slow time.    Thinking today how we have come to accept that things need to be fast.   as  example,     needing to abbreviate even a word….merchandise is   merch.    Three syllables are too much.

a very hard thing in the Michigan family.  Everyone had to fly there.  and that's not my story to tell   but i woke this morning to the reality of it    and was     afraid.     i lay there,  fully realizing.  and there was    Fear.     moments passed and then,  suddenly,

Metta.    Metta for    my     Self.     my self. 

i put this here so i don't minimize the experience of this as i move on into the days….don't minimize the beautyfully  clear  Lightness that came.   how i'd written that in the stenographer's notebook.   above.  And as i wrote,  it became more.  the Metta was about all hard things now.     how i took this photograph because photographs are real.   they are fact.    not memory or interpretation.   So i  can keep the experience here.  Like this.  so it stays alive.  real.

ADDENDUM  8/8

i knew i might regret posting this.   It comes across as cryptic and it isn't really,  it's just about something that Belongs to other people.   and i should have been more clear about the Fear…it was because everyone was gone.  That far away.  that i was here alone with any Evacuation  Order  that might come.  and that there was no way any of that could be changed.    Jenny is now back.   Alyssia returns Sunday.