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old wood bordering that last little bit of the front row of the B Garden.      I sat on the overturned pot inbetween these and the little  Fig  tree where it's shady,  coolest at that time of a triple digit day.    just looking at them….the marks  living beings had left from their life  there,   marks,   same as the ones down at the creek as a kid when i sat,   just like this then.   lost in the just looking.   and then

there was a lapse in time.    no longer associated with the past,   no thoughts of a Future….no    thoughts.    just    me    them.  

how long?

and then i was  "there" again and saw that Minnow had set her ball carefully against the toe of my crock.   and  i realized that the water from the hose nozzle on Seep mode had soaked the Fig.   and i realized that what i have been hoping to learn from Sharon Salzberg and Eckhardt Tolle is taking hold and i had been         fully present.    and it was time to continue on.

so….i sat here,   last night,   this laptop glowing earnestly in the dark,   me trying to think of how to say it       and i fell asleep.  Because it remains a dilemma for me….this being  "no real content"    for a blog…..i have no art i'm making,   nothing   Interesting                  looking at wood

This morning on NPR Morning Edition a segment about a healthcare provider,   a clinic in Georgia that provides health care only to the uninsured.    it's a FINE telling     and the chief financial officer ends it with this:    if they can't  pay you,  they bring you empanadas.  

these kinds of posts are my empanadas.

 

There was     the graduating 8th grade Ceremony at  River Bend Park in the morning.     i had to be out of here by 8am….Goats all fed and watered,  Minnow jailed  in her kennel      i thought i'd be there early,   but        there were SO MANY people there,  i found a parking spot at the very end of the very large parking lot…..my guess is at least 200 people   and as each name was called,  families whistled and cheered,   some families LARGE,   ours only 6  but we made Good Noise and best…..a voice called out,  loud  and clear……"I love you,  Son".      Julian Ortiz.   Graduating public school  after years of introverted home school.  Graduating      with Honors.    

 

at the turn on faucet for B Garden.     Where i first go,  coming down…..squat.    breathing     and turn the water on.  I stay a few minutes looking down ,   just looking from that vantage point on down the road,   down to where the Spanish Broom used to be        a couple feet in front of me ,  this pile of  wood.    Now and then,  recently   more and more frequently,    there is the  one on the left.    He pops up,  out from the pile and sits.    We     be.     He is different from the Friends at Jack's gate.   The ones i meet with every morning,   the ones that have taught me so much and teach me still,     Uno and Dos.     They are small in comparison,  slender.    This one,   dark and heavy bodied.  With Uno and Dos,   we meet every morning at very much around the same time.   I am reliable.  Always.   Every day.   Here,   at the faucet,   there's no particular time…it changes,    so would be more complicated for     us     to   establish  a friendship.   But it seems like we might be.   and today,   he brings a friend.     What it takes is      only the Present Moment     staying in it,    the Present Moment    of     NOTHING but what       is.    for as long as anything takes.   Being still,   and      Present.    Completely and utterly Present.    Just this.    I am grateful to them.

i  washed my hair OutSide today.    First time this Cycle.   There's  a handheld shower nozzle out there.   I used a bucket to sit on and had the shampoo and bar soap there,   wash cloth.   The water is warm from heating in the SUN in the PVC  that brings it up the Hill.    Tomorrow at 9 am at  Riverbend Park is Julian's Graduation Ceremony.   i'll be squeaky clean.   His father and wife have come from New Jersey,   i've never met her.   Janeen   Yaneen  i love her name.      He'll fly back with them for a month.   Short this time but good….gives us part of a summer here.  Time goes so fast.   High School next.

'

 

 

came into B Garden with too much.    on my mind     and    as i turned to begin,    this bloom of the miniature bamboo….said

softly loud        Gentle Day ,  grace,          and i stopped.     Let things go.   Began again.       

newborn    Pattypan Squash

wanting a pic of the wet Plantain…..and looking,    i see we made a piece of Rainbow

yesterday it was the Button Bush.   Today,    it's here…..a  pic from Julian's  school's    Honors  Day    

Having turned a corner.    the verdict.   34 times.   Guilty.     I have been deep into watching all of it as it played out day to day.  I didn't necessarily want to be….but i was.    and  today,   i awoke      and first thoughts were of some     uhhhhh,    release?    there is an answer.   Guilty.          But then…………..Now,    we go.   it's aftermath and on,  into November.   and i will be caught in the same  intense degree of Witnessing.      But i'd  like to do that in a different way…..and i am thinking. 

I constantly say……….love……….i love                    because i do.    I love so much.   Not just like,  care,    but    Love…..with my whole self,   Love things.    I love      Trees,  rocks,  insects,  plants,   cloth,  pencil,   color,  wind,   Sun,   night,   a dog,   a cat,   Goats,    music,   humanity ,   lizards,   birds,   words ,   earth,   Earth                  i love         Humanity.   This Planet.   Whatever All That Is.                         Prayer…..i've never known what   prayer is,   if it   "works"   or      not      But what about,   what about just Going as if it might.   as if it might    "work"?     toward                   Love?

Metta.        seems so simple.   too simple.    but         also,  undeniably true………May we be safe.   May we be healthy,    Happy.   May we live  with Ease     

as it goes into  the "future",    these next months,    People in this country of the United States of America will       choose.     The 3 human beings in the pic here will live on with that Choice.     Ages 35,  14,   6  years.     For them,   the most immediate that i Love,   I will Pray.     my prayer is Metta.     for them,    for every single sentient being ,   and all we do not yet understand to be sentient.   All       ALL  human beings living in these  united states of any and every persuasion.    Every   Thing.      Metta.    I pray.

 

 

 

the Button Bush.    the Glorious Button Bush            in fhe 6 years i'd been here,    every year,  more FULL,  more glorious   More Butterflies.   and then….      I guess this is how it goes.   The canal people do this clearing on some maybe 5 yr schedule?   She's seen it before….when i arrived here in 2017  she was a small bush.   Bigger than this but not what she'd become.   

and so….she Begins Again.   I think of her roots.    With their equipment,   they disappear her.   But her roots.   Her deep self is there.    and     begins again.