windthread

my son sent me this last night.   He also called.   We talked.     He is Giana's father.    Not sure what he had in mind when he sent this.   in the conversation he said it's framed.   on a wall at their house in Colorado.   as i understand,  he has a lot of pics his father took.    i have a vague memory of this…seeing this before           This would be when i was probably 19 or 2o.  Sleeping Bear Sand Dunes,   Lake Michigan.   before we were married.                      the 60's.   when i was   uhhhhhh,   beginning to ….to…..  build my Self.    That's a strange word.   Build.   but i like it.   Build my Self.   Beginning to Build  my Self.    Recently it seems that there is going to be a kind of RE View of things.    i'm just being Open for it…but to RE VIEW  how it is that i came to be where i am today.   Where all i've been.    

these  "holidays"       that i have so many  Opinions about….but they still keep on coming,  year after year and here we were,  another   "mother's day"         and the three of us spent last eve pouring over the viet namese food menue which is huge,  so many possibilities and finally came up with an order   and then when Jenny went to the place,  there was a Closed sign.   She sat out front and called and called and finally got a pick up and she said….will you be opening soon?  and the response was…. Did you read the sign?   We're closed.      so    oh   eee    so we ended up with  Philly cheesesteak sandwich and Greens…..   was good and it was 85    We went over  to the creek.    First time this year.   Jenny brought the floaties.      I was a Glorious day….Minnow had never seen water like this before but   LEAPT     and   SWAM   and Julian….Julian…in his UnFolding Self   got In and it was FINE and FINE and FINE.   and more Fine…..so…..              we did it.

their stems are over a foot tall,   with 2 or 3  long very slender leaves that almost always have flattened down horizontal on the ground.   just standing there,   being quietly BeautyFULL.   i love them., very much

his favorite place.   every morning.

continuing.     not sure how much i want to say about this tonight.   

it's late

but.    I had the sudden urge to bring down the Blanket.   to B Garden.    and i did.   Set it down there.    just this much.

took the pic.    to witness.  to mark the moment.   for what?   don't know.     but here we were.    and as i looked in the "gallery" of pics   i was startled to see       a BLOOM  of Plantain……there…..which was not there a couple days ago……??????   there in the shallow blue bowl…just between the marble and the ceramic christmas tree         breath      look.    breath more.    look.   this won't make much sense.   but as a journal page…..a HUGE journal page it needs to stand as it IS.   

and  three days now,   Humming Birds.    They like the spray of the water ,   are excited by it……whiz around and sit just less than a foot away from my face  on John  Lewis,  the beloved grapefruit tree  as i hold the spray nozzle to give water to the tomato plants there,   the walking onions that don't walk……going off to drink from those Aloe  blossoms,  come back,   dance through the spray of the water.   I have never fed humming birds.   Giving a natural being Sugar….?????    Doesn't feel right?      Alyssia and i talked tonight.   What could we give them?   Why would we?   maybe the pleasure of water is enough?   But …..what about just intermittent  joy?

OK.     planted.    Leafy greens and one row of Carrots.   Carrots for the kids.   a short fat kind….maybe they will work.   But here we have it.   Rows.    Experiment.    Wait.          There are still seeds that will go into pots.   As many as i can.   But all the "beds" are done.     a great sense of a peaceful satisfaction.   i sit and think…those words….peaceful satisfaction.    it's new.   different from  wishing i'd done      more.    This is enough.     The peaceful satisfaction of Enough.

here,  again today.    wanting to just stay.       so i did.        thinking how  all my life i have tethered myself to    Accomplishment.  

i was wise enough that it was to Things i Loved.  But    tethered nonetheless    ……    to the Accomplishment.

i love here,  how Plantain has chosen to live among these things.    the Plantain that heals.

trying to think of what to call it,  the  Experiment,    with doing,         Today because the Sky gave so much water yesterday,   there was no need.   so i just did some housekeeping here…all hidden under a winters worth of pine needles and then this spring's  catkins and wet earth.   wiped them with a cloth.    and

there was no hurry.

it felt Good.     Thought about each one,   they all have a life before the Hill      and here we are now     and that felt Good.  i've never "taken"  time like this before.