windthread

Wendy said…. "working with clear energies that are often opposing each other,  to allow for more clarity,  less intensity,  and a clearer  compass towards reconciliation and integration"   

integration…..       required.

Dee's post.   I was so flooded with gratitude to her for the beautifully crafted presentation of all that i     live  with…..the part of me that has been simultaneous with the work with Sharon Salzberg,   the circling round to the teachings of Eckhart T0lle  which are to me absolutely True and Real,   both                 How do you reconcile these in the mind heart and body?   How to     LIVE with these opposing energies within the self?        or      are they opposing or just Front and Back of the same human  dilemma?   

and then…..there was more.

i read Dee's words and felt loosened.    this day was Bright       Sun      and warmth     i went out to care for the Goats   there was a lightness that hasn't been there for so long   and down at Jack Flash's Gate….i leaned in and said the words that i have said every day for months….      "Friends!   hello!   I love you.   Thank you for all you show/ed me "          all through the winter/Rain months i say this even tho they have been gone,   remembering how every morning in the warm months they were there,   showing me their Lizard selves,   Uno and Dos    leaping and coming forward   "to" me   showing me connection between us    communication between us for which i will forever be grateful    so i have continued to say it  and i saw a

flutter

of something that i assumed to be a leaf            but it was not          it was      one of Them……a Lizard

just like before     it's small self standing there,   it's eye contact    body  directly facing     and i was FLOODED with JOY,   Gratitude,   Surprise and Wonder         i don't know which of them it was   but one of them…..just like it was at the end of the warm months when they had to go     Just like it was.    and my whole self just exclaimed!!!!   EEEEEEEEEee  OH   OH

Thank You     

How to            reconcile   these         Realities?      Integrate,   Integrate them.     Begin with a Beauty FULL day.   there is 

Release.   we       Go.    

 

go read

Pattern and Outrage     Dee Mallon.com

d

a few days ago all three kids were here,  an ice and battery delivery,   and Alyssia and i were at the table talking.   They were worn out from Tag and had brought down their digging tools,  a trowel,  spoons, a spatula,  a couple bowls and began digging.  And as always,  told to go elsewhere….farther away….not where people walk and as always they really wanted to dig     there      ?  Maybe because they can listen to our conversation?      don't know because as they are digging there is a LOT of conversation between them,   but i gave in and said ok but you will need to make it Good before you leave….fill in the hole,   well.       They did.  And

this nice arrangement of rocks.

yesterday i saw Emrie squatting,  looking at it and called over to her how much i like the really good job they had done.      This morning as i went by,  looking down i saw her addition.    Look right in the middle.   That's so Emrie.   and she didn't say anything,  just did it.       Being here by herself,   spent the rest of the time teaching Minnow how to climb trees.

 

 

yesterday i said lost in ……….how i become lost    in.       it's my nature.   to become lost in things.  Wholeheartedly lost.    until i become lost again.    and where i find myself now…..in this Present.   that in a certain way is made out of all that has passed.   having gotten lost in  wanting to "know",   in Buddhism,   and all that  "new age"  things brought,  and in DRAWING then the  MAKING  of the fiber figures/art dolls and then,   in Jude Hill's Spirit Cloth.   joyfully lost.  wholeheartedly lost.      and now in my 78th year,   i look at what i carry from all that,   what i've kept in my  knapsack.   and things continue to rise,  or,  re~rise….those being  through the work with Sharon Salzberg's teaching and most recently,  and,  surprisingly,   the return of Eckhart Tolle's teaching    all which  are centered in       the Now.       I think….what have i left undone?       Diorama.   the thing of diorama.   my love since grade school of diorama     and i thought this morning,   maybe that's what i'm doing…. the diorama is this Hill  and i am lost in the Life that i'm living?  sometimes joyously,  always wholeheartedly

these are the thoughts i can take to the Gathering at the Well

pic :      the pull of cloth remains strong

how Caroline is so unphotogenic….her legs always looking 2 inches tall,  how it doesn't come across that way in person.   Watched them a lot today beginning when seeing them out the window as they came down from the crest of the Hill,  having already been down to the Big Meadow at A,    just spilling over that ridge.    thought how they are such "fulfilled Metta"…..safe, happy,  healthy,  living with ease.    So glad  this has become their life.   That's Onday    farthest in the back on the right.   One of the first born to Jenny in Los Lunas  NM    at the very beginning of it all.    i found the Artisan Cheese Making book the other day.   Nigerians…the highest quality  goat milk,  highest butterfat, milk solids and protein  content of all dairy goats.   How i quit thinking about all that when i became lost in Spirit Cloth world.    how things are intertwined.

 

    

Margery is back

Sharing Trickster's Hoard

trickstershoard.com

 

,

   returning to post  of  3/4    Truth       add ons     

paraphrase from Sharon Salzberg's   Real Happiness     a 28 Day Program to Realize the Power of Meditation ,   the text  companion to this 28 Day Challenge   i just completed in February:

Mindfulness ~ focusing attention on the breath,  the present moment simply noticing any thought, emotion  or physical sensation that arises and letting it go.   Return to the breath,  the actual experience of the present moment.     Noticing what is "added on"  because of "habitual responses developed over a lifetime"  ….   projection to the future,  memory of past,  self judgement,   associative thinking.    To distinguish our direct experience,  which is Peaceful,  from the baggage of the Add Ons.  To let the Add Ons     go,   as they appear,  not letting them become a bread crumb trail into past,  the future,   the NoWhere.   

learning to Be Present.   Which in the case of all those add ons of 3/4,   was  peaceful,   warm from the camp heater,   dry Peaceful.   Yes.   i would need to go Feed.  Yes   there is RAIN.   Yes,  things have broken unexpectedly in the last few months.  Yes i love the desert.       And          i am Here.    And there is no where else i'd rather be.  period.     So……

this moment.   This singular present.     I am.      There is a great freedom in this.    I see things,  like the skin of a tree.   

and maybe the best way to talk about this is just examples as they come.   Here's one.

Standing at Jack's gate where i talk to those two lizards.    Sun has broken through and   is flowing down upon us.   I follow the breath.   down the hill onto   Old Olive   i can see the  tops of cars and trucks,  hear the intrusive sound of them….loud….fast…..add ons begin about our society,  its    loudness/fastness/mindlessness…..here it goes…….and i remember to stop,,,,let it go…..return to the breath   the warmth of the Sun,   the sound of Jack chewing his hay               and,  i see again  tops of the cars and trucks like my son's childhood matchbox toys    and   i thought

most likely,   there is Urgency and maybe Angst    inside those        and it occurred to me to say Metta     for them.   for all of us in this United States of America.                   and there came a peacefulness in     me.   a kindness.    i was able to go back     to   follow the breath.   feel the Sun    hear Jack chew.   I'm learning.

 

 

 

 

raking out  Jack's feed shed.     i stopped to sit and rest.    then      to follow  the Breath,  i thought,  for just a few minutes but i drifted off to sleep      and   Woke     probably just moments later,  i don't really know                  Sun was falling upon the  old great pine that is maybe 3 or so feet in front of me,    and  it was as if     it    ,  the Tree,   had somehow moved even closer   and  i saw Its bark…….Skin…..and really    SAW it……as in,    felt      it                  if you click to enlarge and then move up and down,  over       you might be able to feel the sense of the Beingness of this Tree    that is at least 100 years old   and  in these moments,   Alive

Storks bill.     there's    a    L O T     of it.     a Lot.