windthread

a wisp of hay,   like lipstick

 

I like to imagine plants dreaming into their seeds.   How Care Full y  she arranged her leaves    the Yarrow attends

 

this is the Malibar that self planted.   Beginning to flower and hopefully then seed.   Is here because i emptied the grow bag and landscape pot into this tomatoe bed in the spring.  Seeds had fallen.   

The entire life purpose of plants is to make Seed?    Is this true?    I think so.  To continue.   I wish this to be true with this Malibar.   It would become a staple FOOD.   That Likes to Grow here.  Emrie could feed her children.

 

 toward the end of the 77th year.   I have gotten lost this year.   I don't know if i will be found,  i don't know what found means.  It remains to be seen.  There have been many things,   and continuing,  the Fertile Void.  Tay died and Minnow has come.  It bothers me deeply when i don't say the truth,  speak it Out Loud.   My heart is broken for this country,  for the peoples of this land.   We are broken.   

i want to find things to carry me from day to day.   to believe in.  to form Hope in.  In the meantime,  i believe in this Hill.   I vow to remember how to make oh so thin flour tortillas,  enough so they fly off my bread board for All of Us.   This i can do.

otherwise,  maybe i'll remain lost with no plan.  Floating along this slow river where any day can be any way?   What about that?

this was the first pomegranate,  much before the 5 others that still remain on the branches.   That Rain….this happened.  This will be Her 6th year.  There is only little fruit flesh,  but it is SWEET .   we'll leave the 5 for another month or more.  Things take time.

Last night,  SomeThing came.   To Puppy's food bowl on that table outside.   I thought it was her…maybe 2:30 or so…but Minnow lurched  toward the door ,  her body rigid      I let her out and there was a squirmish and growling, snarling i can't identify.   Something medium sizeed.   and she chased it off down into the Doe Forest.   

third night in a row….They are camped out Up here,  just by the house,  in front of Sunny Ray's forest fence.   All these years,  unless it's raining,   they have gathered for the night on that turn in the curve down in front of  Jack Flash's yard.

i have no clue why this might be.    ???   I also have no idea how they arrive at concensus.   it's suddenly just how it is.

the white line is the water pipe.

 

 

Giana,   Colorado granddaughter in Hawaii last week.   Feeding birds at a Temple

 

this morning,   first thing,   it was ALL there,  in my mind,   what i wanted to say.   What a surprise,  tonight….there is a blank.   like,  Blank.   I have no idea what all of it was this morning.   ????

but it's something about being Honest.    Totally honest.   and that is related  to what rose up at the Gathering at the Well  yesterday,   when i felt what it was to be totally honest.   There is a freedom,   a clear clean Space to breathe in

i don't cut flowers to bring in.   somehow i can't.   Yesterday i did,   for this Table Setting  (Dana)  and the ONE single Kuri  Squash B Garden grew.   

Jenny arrived at about 5:30  and  it was still very overcast,   the only day like an island day in the week before and the week to come of

Rain

Alyssia had just arrived.   We  set to it.   The crab,  potatoes,  corn on the cob were in plastic bags…we spread them out  and ate.   ATE.   like racoons down at the creek.   Off and on there was a sprinkle of rain drops and it became dark around 7.   No talk about what this was all about.   We just did it.  

 

 

 

out of nowhere,   as  Alyssia and i  were talking and she saying how much she was CRAVING crab legs,   out of nowhere  i said,  OK,   we need a Holiday.   Crab legs are New Years Eve.    We didn't because they are a luxury  and on New Year's Eve just after Christmas ,   Kids,   ……..we didn't feel like that was possible  so it passed by.   But  somehow in this moment,   it stuck…Crab Legs.   A   Holiday.   We'll make our Own Holiday.   and it went on to thinking we needed Jenny.   Her mother,   my daughter.  US.

so i washed the table of grit and dust,   Jenny brought them from Chico along with new potatoes and corn on the cob and the three of us,   the Three of Us ,  no kids,  no brother/son  no Jenny's man,   just the 3 of us

celebrated.   It doesn't have a name.   It doesn't have a Reason   other than to be celebrating the ending of the Summer Months of  Maybe Fire,   moving into the WET months of the Rain Season with all the challenges of that….a Holiday of Just Going maybe.   Of things again Unrealized but remaining   and  i think that's enough to say….things again unfinished but remaining,  and the determination to just go toward them…ever  toward them

Emrie Grace Jimenez  First Grade at Stream Charter School.    Based in the STEM curriculum but STREAM…with emphasis on Reading and the Arts.  Stem….Science technology engineering and mathematics.  Free K-8 charter school.   It's been created in a small shopping mall,   and just that is interesting,   the various  shops are the classrooms and more,  that i don't yet know.   All students gather in a very large playground  as they are dropped off.  MANY  MANY.  all ages,  gathered in groups of their own creation.   At an appointed hour,   their principal,   who has been  standing on the rise up in front of the Cafeteria Assembly Space blows a whistle 3 times and in a booming voice,  says  FREEZE!.    Everyone does,  teachers playground staff kids….they  freeze in place.   He booms    GOOD MORNING STREAM STUDENTS!    they respond in unison   GOOD MORNING Mr. So and So.  He then gives a synopsis of the day if different  than usual (today) after which the Music Teacher played his guitar and sang with the kids and after which the whistle blew again and ordinarily they all seperate to class groups.  There is

order

not the joyful and sometimes not joyful chaos of Emrie's  kindergarden school.     And being someone who enjoys the aesthetics of homosapiens,   i love that the Principal is a large black man.   I love that Ms. Coleman,  Emrie's teacher is tall with mid back length RED loose  hair.  I love that Mr. So and So the music teacher who "everyone loves" is a VERY LARGE man  and that the play ground staff often are grandparent aged.   

this morning a student/family Assembly.   Student of the Month.    Alyssia had gotten an email.  she knew and kept it a secret from Emrie.   Kindergarden was first.   then…First Grade and the 2 first grade teachers called students to the front.   

Emrie Jimenez   

she at first did not respond….her teacher repeated… and she went.   Stood like a deer in headlights.    Her awared of Student of the Month from Ms. Coleman was for Kindness and Responsibility.   ….a little speach giving examples.     She returned to her seat and then,   the Student of the Month  of ALL the First Grade…over 60 students…the STREAM Student of the Month Award.  Emrie Jimenez.    TWO!!!!!!!

tonight she is still absorbing what it was.   All she can say is….I really really try.  

it was a hard transition,  this new school,  their Ways,   which she didn't know anything about and she likes Knowing,   but the only way to do that was just go back everyday and find out

i  could not possibly love a human being more.

the Landscaping….everywhere….LARGE River Rock,  smallest,  size of footballs    Beauty FULL,   solid,   Grounded.   This is where she'll be till High School.