windthread

Morning Window    Table Window   Spider world

Because i think i Should,   i sweep out this window maybe every month or so.   There are usually 2 adult cellar spiders,  unknown number of young ones.   They RUN  up and behind the venetian blind.   Then,   that night,   begin again.   

This whole world can be seen only at first light of morning,  sunrise,   otherwise it's fairly invisible.   They are like housemates.  Occasionally they extend a guy line out,  say to the table lamp,  into my space,  and i sweep it away with my hand.

 

the reason i left New Mexico

 

Map enclosed in October 2023 issue of National Geographic      SPACE

Star Cradle     This view of the Pillars of Creation,  an iconic feature of the Eagle Nebula,  was captured by the revolutionary James Webb Space Telescope.   The 5.5 million year old deep space object- a massive cloudlike formation of dust and gas where new stars are born-is alight with details no other telescope has ever before unveiled.
it looks like a

Hand

I am trying to find out what's going on with me.   These 3 images help me.    They are all a part of One Thing.

Talking on phone to my Friend,  Kay Gould Caskey,   my long ago drawing teacher,  my old book store partner,  my mentor of Much    the other day,  somewhere in the conversation she said…Everything there is about Love.    Just in passing.  almost.   But the words have remained suspended in my awareness.    Everything here is about Love.  

Enough for now.    And how you just never know….do you see?    no need to click to orient.   Out of nowhere and Lo and Behold,  as suddenly as it went away,   it's returned.   How it's always been.   In the blink of some eye.  Knock on Wood.

 

 

Garden note  

Garden was and was not many things this time around.   It does continue.   But  a true miracle,   how it healed my toes.   To spare the gory details,   bad things happened to my toes over the winter.   Most probably from the "most probably Reynaud's Syndrome" coupled with wearing two pairs of socks in boots.   boots because of RAIN.   the Incessant Rain.   They were painful to the slightest touch,  skin peeling off,  toenails wierd.    And as Spring planting came on,  squatting and kneeling,  my attention kept being called to the Plantain that has always grown there,  along the  edges of the dug beds.   Being weed,  had come by Its Self,  both Wide and Narrow Leaf.   and as it goes….a mindless cruise around YouTube one night offered the Medicinal Uses of  it.

and it WAS truly miraculous.   Daily i chewed a couple leaves.  just enough to release the juices,  wrapped the pulp around each toe in its turn,  rubbing gently.   Brought a couple leaves back with me and repeated every night.   The relief was almost immediate.  This coupled with the Heals All salve that Gentle Day Cynthia had sent me….the release from captivity of socks and boots,  and of course,   the WARM weather for bare or closest to bare feet.   

I don't know how things  will go this "winter"…but my feet will be cold again,  the socks and boots necessary. I'll need to do things differently.    But i do have  this experience,  i do have my Relationship with Plantain.   Huge,  Huge Gratitude.  

it grows almost Everywhere.   Look for it around your house and remember to try it. Insect bites too.  Any skin irritation.  It loves people.

 

 

 

 

Every night now…i hope….that things will change, that i can click the rotate clockwise symbol and it will  all be  like it  has always been

but,   not.

so

looking at this….after looking at the memories of the Old Life from 2015                  We are here now.   We are becoming.    the same.

Merging,  into. 

Can you see  Puppy?

 

 

click the photograph to orient correctly please.  

so,  here tonight,   the cursor will not begin at the left,  as is normal,  but on the right.   So as i type this,  the words are appearing going from right to left.   Backwards.     The temptation is to just shut it down and walk away. Quit.

But i want the moment above to Be Here.   Still.  As it was when Minnow Puppy and i walked over to this small clearing in the Forest  today.   It's the Old Cowboy's mother's aluminum lawn rocker from New Mex….and before that,  their family ranch in Colorado.  Her name was Flossie.  She was very frugal.    didn't ever  buy much, but did buy this from the Sears Catalog. 

on it is the shoe box with the Old Cowboy's teeth,  dentures,  eyeglasses and slippers.  a checkbook.  He liked using the word   Critical.   Stuff was referred to as Critical.  There's not a lot i really want to say about all this except for i sat there a long time in the sunlit cool September morning,  watching that slideshow in my mind  thinking about how things don't turn out how we imagine they will  sometimes.   They did for him.   He lived a long life,  well into his 80's.   He died at home.   Which toward the end was all he wanted….was Critical.    We did it.  I had given him my word.    I looked in the archives.   it was 9/29/2015.  No wonder.  so…we will go everyday now,  till that date this year,   Friday,  spend a little time.

.

 

click to rotate please

this was yesterday….Equinox,   its purity and perfection.    It chose to grow in the Garden.    I'd sat with it a long time.

early evening Alyssia came and spent long,  loading some application for photo storage,  something about Cloud, got only partially there and had to leave.   When i opened this laptop at the end of the day there was a black blank screen.   Nothing.  I did all the things someone can do to turn on.    Blank and black.    i walked away.  came back later,  etc.  repeat repeat.  Nothing.   Ok, i thought…it's i think 4 years old,  this chrome book,   maybe it's done.   and then….what is the message then for me?    Slept.  waking around 2am to try again….still.   Lay there, staring into the dark.     the same question….what is the message then for me?     Alyssia called this morning…to see how i was doing….we talked and i automatically flipped it open and there…..

there it was.   as usual.   Whatever it was,  was no longer.    so now…same question.   what is the message for me?

and here we are,   this evening,   this Flower   whose message is pure.   Flower says,   I am.     I grew.    i will be gone.   Sit with me now.   

click to orient

Hesitated to put this here now….since i can't tweak the image and it appears  a washed out version of it's true color.     But it needs to be here.   Maybe someday i can fix it.

this is the woven medicine bag that Nancy,   Nancy Erisman   Pomegranatetrail.blogspot.com  made and  gifted me years ago.   In these last days,  close to the beginning of Windthread's crash,   she posted.  9~9~2023.   Go look and if you already have,  look again.   As i was deep in the midst of questioning the whole thing of blogging,   it carried me with it to a beauty full place in my heart.   I thought of the thing of Tikkun olam  We have talked about over time,   mending the world,  and i saw this post as kin to that but 

Tending       the world.

How this is what she does and has done for so lovingly long…she tends her world,   her small part of the planet like some Goddess.   i smile.   but,  really.   as i read it and looked and thought and felt …several times,   i kept getting    a Movie…her,   Large….like Big….as big as the biggest trees,  or bigger.    moving along,  through,  slowly, slowly,    along/through the world she travels over and over.   Never tiring,  she places her feet so care  Full y   inbetween creeks and dry riverbeds  roads and telephone lines and tressels and gates and all manner of things people make.   She towers over all this  in her goddess form,   leaning gently over,  gazing down  Upon.   She says

"each moment is its own.   come travel with me,   Moment to Moment.   May you embrace everything,  really." .

 

the medicine bag has been packed away in the Evacuation vehicle.  Just there,  safe.   But i got it and brought it in.   I need it's medicine now.   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

click the pic to orient correctly.

the color is not right.  it's deeper,  more vivid.   part of what i used to be able to do….edit  light/dark…..not anymore.   but you can use your imagination.    I'd begun to worry  that they were not ripening normally,   but read that this is the time,  on into October.   All is still Well.

one of the many things i missed in the last days.    Early morning,   not yet 7 am and Sun is  just coming over the rise here at the top of the Hill…out the Morning window,   i suddenly saw 2 parallel verticle shafts of vibrant color,  the color of the most ripe pomegranate,   an orange/red…two vertical shafts maybe 16 "…18?   just        there.    and then,  they moved,  a rocking motion and i KNEW what i was seeing,  there was no doubt,   could be nothing else…..      Jack Rabbit.    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    i knew from  New Mexico,  how the rising sun  behind Them creates this unmistakable GLOW of their ears,    but never imagined here in Sierra Nevada Foothills????????     and almost as soon as i saw this,  it was gone.   So i did what we do,   googled  Jack Rabbit  Butte Cnty California and sure enough…yes.   Still not believing,  when time ticked by on the clock,  i called the Fish and Game #….Do we?   i asked….yes he said.     And then,   every day since then,  same time,  day break,   those EARS and here They are,   casually exploring,  crossing back and forth,  every day a little closer,  a little more Sure.  Minnow is not out yet,  still sleeps.   Only once was Rabbit still out by the back of Sunny Ray's forest and Minnow was ,out,  saw Them and ran at Them,  she doesn't bark,  but They have been undaunted….continuing to come.   This morning….here.   right out there,  under the  hammock swings, rising up on those incredibly LONG hind legs to sniff the swing

Why now?   this is going into the 6th year and never before.   Even down in the big meadow,  but i read that they only move at dawn and dusk, otherwise hunker down in underbrush being a high prey resource for so many other beings who live here.  Hawks Owls Fox Coyote Mountain lion .   and i read that they are not a rabbit,  but a Hare.   And watching,  holding my breath, because any slight movement from me and They vanish,   i understand without effort the symbolic place Hare has taken in the stories and mythologies of humankind.    Something about them is Otherworldly.     

 

 

 

 

 

Click the pic as if to enlarge.                  i woke and watched the dawn.   thought about all the turmoil.    thought,   i refuse.   i refuse to live like this.   picked up the pencil.   First i layed the two sticks down,  the ones that crossed me out.   then  with them,  the thing that covered my mouth.  it went from there.  and as i drew the face,   i thought     I need to take myself in hand.    and here we have it.  I can't fix Typepad but i can fix my Self.    These are Beauty Full days Out There….there are things needing to be Told.   

thank you,  Every One,   for your Loving Kindness

click the pic as if to enlarge and it might turn upright.   Who knows.   

I have to let it go.

Alyssia has done everything she can think of.   only one more thing,  and that's happening "as we speak" .    She can check its progress from her home.   She left.   It had gotten dark and time for her to be herding kids to bed.   

There's WordPress.    A while back,  during the last Event with typepad,   i opened an account with WordPress.  It recognizes me.  I didn't go then because somehow,  Typepad fixed itsSelf   and i really like my space here…it's familiar.  It's home.   And i guess i believe in hope.   Hope that some how,   in  the same unexplainable way things have gone wrong,   things will all of a sudden go right again.   It's possible.   it's been 2 weeks,   not so long in the larger scheme of things,  right?    What i do know is i can't keep fooling with it…checking to see if there's a change.   I will need to just come here at the end of the days like i'm used to and if i can get a pic to load,   sideways,   then call it done.

What i also DO know is i've had ample time to see how it feels…to not be here.   To see if it  seems like it's  "time" to excuse mySelf.       I don't want to.        There' are           Things unfinished.   

                the pic…..one of the "exercises" from the Book.   She said…."how does it feel to be you right here and now"    pg.26      I am going really really slow.   I lingered.    this was  the 16th,   today is the 19th.   it's still how i feel  

 

 

 

 

double clic as if you want to enlarge.  See if it comes up correctly oriented

LATE Evening:   Alyssia came…did as Typepad Team suggested….signed in incognito,  ect.  ,  and nada.  It is not a corrupt cookie.   I reported this to Typepad.   So,  waiting again.  

there's so much i want to Journal here.   it's been a week.    the first time ever in many years and i feeeeeeeeeel it……i miss the Telling of the day

and maybe particularly because this is the tail end of the 77th year…important days   and i also miss very much the companionship of the sharing.   Without the daily Telling,   it is very solitary here.

the image above began as a single curved line.   As i read the Book,  i would continue to keep the pencil moving,  just moving. There was ZERO thought about what might come of that…no intention at all….   just marks next to marks  and at the end of the afternoon i had this.   Looking….Looking…..Looking and  finally realizing i was seeing the OWL that had come two nights in a row….a large owl.    Reading about BRAIN     the Thing of a Biological Brain,   and experiencing here how this Brain that is substance inside my skull had partnered with my hand

I absolutely LOVE all this

and then Mind came in.   Mind said things about Owl.   how they are more than themselves,  are the night,  the forest,  the whole of time,  of life and death,  are bird,  flight,  vision,  talon,  sound,  language,  secret,  weight,  impact,  sharp,  dense,  and on

i want to try to talk about it here.    The images sideways  are difficult…they feel so uncomfortable….even if we can click them right….i don't know what to do