windthread

i'd wanted to write a long and complicated post tonight.   Had been awakened before First Light by startled Goats at the door and it went from there…. still being held by the Dream,  needing to be Present,  as in  HERE,   and soon a realization of just how much of my life takes place through the 3×6 screen of the phone.   All were Tangled.  I couldn't get loose,  couldn't seperate them and i thought Uh~Oh…..

but here,  at the end of an  amazing day,  just this….written on a shopping bag yesterday.  Push pinned to the wall .  Enough of a Marker  for all of it.   and to say

i was 

shown

the tail,  the fast flashing streak of fluorescent blue tail of a juvenile skink.  Again.   just outside the door.

i am grateful for this day.

 

 

 

 

perennial     lasting or existing for a long or apparently infinite time;   enduring or continually recurring

some wintered over,  some from Self~seed    My heart sings that they have found Home in B Garden.   

 

yesterday i said  stories.   Today i could say   Feelings,  or more,     FeltSense ~ings.   Felt sense.  i use the term a lot.  it's become personal but it comes from

"a felt sense is an internal aura that encompasses everything you feel and know about the given subject at a given time ~ encompasses it and communicates it to you all at once rather than detail by detail"   Eugene T. Gendlin   his book   Focusing   1998   International Focusing  Institute

this.    is about territory i'd like to explore when We meet at the Well.

My belov~ed  friend Marge,  Margery Burke Price.   Who in her 60's  gave in to "the Man" and got her degree in Art at the University of Michigan.  Got that degree.  Got  her drivers licence,   bought a red Mustang.    She'd raised 6 children as a transcriber in medical records at the University Hospital,  lost one  to suicide,  so…5 in the end.  Her second youngest son and his girlfriend had a baby and  moved in with her,   to live in her downstairs Studio.   One morning the baby crawled up the stairs to her,  she went to the refrigerator to get milk for the bottle and suffered a massive heart attack.   

We used to spend hours sitting cross legged on her bed,  a huge bowl of heavily buttered popcorn between us.  Studying things.  Jung's Visions Seminars,   this   Focusing.   Neurolinguistic Programing,  Richard Bandler and John Grinder.   We took those trains to Chicago for the Journal Workshops.  

All that and all Now is in this Spiral.

Spiral Blanket has been folded into Its Self,  still hanging,  but   pushed  over to the side

i stretched it out….over that whole space again     and  saw it anew.   So many Stories going on

how cloth is so Alive.

 

the Dancing Stick got bumped and slid sideways.   It's held in place in a qt. mason jar with stones in it.   Tipped sideways.  a couple weeks.  and in that time,   the Celler Spiders returned…they'd been gone now for months.  I don't know why.  And these are young ones.   Not the originals.  But in the couple weeks,  had worked to incorporate the Dancing Stick into their Window World.  It's the ongoing dilemma,  me and  them.    I admire their  creative Energy  that      also    Fills the window with web which i do not love.   

Seeking compromise,  maybe i just now and then take a paint brush or something and  undo the strands of web that extend out from the  window itself,  ie:  into the Dancing Stick…..just Some?

can you see her/him/they?   just above the round stone?  They're young.   Two of them.

and some thing ate the green bean vines.   They just called, were very quiet,  it's 12 at night there…9 here….are at Alyssia's grandpa's house in Ann Arbor,  my X,   Jenny's father,   they call him Bumpy.   from when Alyssia was little…after the  Betty Boop stuff.  They went to the U of M Natural HIstory museum and looked at dinosours.  Tomorrow they go to that Grandma i told you about.  They were quiet.   Subdued.     She,  Emrie,  seems uhhh,  unsure.  I told her about the peas growing and that me and the Goats are just here doing the same thing we always do

 

 

on roadsides all over these United States,  like here,  covered with dust.  It's on the tip of my tongue…….???????????

Figs

two of the tomatoe plants are in balance.   Their bodies…perfect….greeeen,  no mark upon them,   blossoms galore,

but limp.  drooping.

it's not lack of water.

i squat.  look.  feel.  

something is happening  under ground.   I think of the photographs on Margery's…Trickster's Hoard….the goslings and the turtle    LifeisLife

Alyssia and Emrie will FLY to Michigan tonight.   Alyssia's brother Jeff  (who lives with her after the death of his wife T going on 2 years now)  and his kids (Jax and Brinley)  will drive them to airport in Sacramento.   3:30 am something

they,  Alyssia and Emrie will go to the paternal grandmother of Alyssia in Michigan who has long planned some kind of Grand Memorial for all those who  have "passed".   died.   Which includes Alyssia's father.  Gary.  the boyfriend of my daughter Jenny,  or,  sort of a boyfriend…she was 15,  he was persistent,  she was impregnated with Alyssia's soul  (see Buddhist thoughts about reincarnation)  (see Caroline  Myss. Sacred Contracts) (see anything)   .    Gary was shot by his uncle at around age 19.  Alyssia remembers him taking her to the park.  Pushing her hours on end on the swing.  Jenny had no contact with that family.  Alyssia has.  On going.  Her grandma,  aunts, cousins,  brothers and sisters on that end.   They have loved her.  She went once,  10 years ago to see the Grandma.   since,  has used the excuse of no money.   Grandma,  a couple of months ago sent her an email.  Ticket bought.  date of flights.  no way out.    They fly.  3:30 something.  a week.  That family.  Which is HUGE.   Emrie is thrilled.  Cousins.  SO many cousins.   She will fly from a Hill in Oroville to a world of Family,   the Black side of her family….she has many sides…her own father is El Salvadoran but that's for another time.     A while ago,  Alyssia was commenting on her recent weight gain,  which happens,  makes No Sense,  is associated with her crazy body with Lupus,   and i said…she just looks

voluptious

she smiled.  Yes.  the Beautiful African Queen.

so….the beautiful African queen and her daughter,  the daughterof Earth,  fly.   Fairfarren.  i miss them already and they aren't even gone