windthread

i have never seen him this close.      except once last week,       but never on the ground.   He is Wild and arboreal.   Looking up,  out the window to the Morning Tree….at first startled by the shape,  the slightly moving shape….but then realized.  Squirrel.  This pic through the screen,   camera to closeer up.   He  stood there,  looking at me.    we    acknowledged    each other.    

this is no small thing tho it may seem so.    Squirrels are,  uhh,  common.    He is a wild Being of the Overstory.   Part of my becoming a student of the Universe.   Being taught what it is to realize how you are    OF    it.   I grope for words.

this morning,  lost in that groping  and  then,  there,  the email newsletter from the new and changing On Being which i cannot navigate:

"the ability to ask beautiful questions~often in very un-beautiful moments~is one of the great disciplines of a human life.  And a beautiful question starts to shape your identity as much by asking it as it does by having it answered"    David Whyte

 

to mark the moment.   

whole hearted does not mean     give yourself away.

Journal page.    This all    "came"     too late tonight.   So just to mark it,  hold it,   give it an open place/space.    Maybe tomorrow.  or,   maybe let it be like a seed and  germinate 

 

 

at the  Lincoln Ave   Dollar Store parking lot.   These trees are like this all over town.   Many on the  "slide" down  to town,  Olive Hwy.   It's been about two weeks since i've been here,   don't remember anything  remarkable about them,  don't remember them blooming,   but these are

seeds

not blooms,  but thousands of seeds.   They remind me of maple seeds,  but not. 

just single wing~ed.    There was an urge to take a few of them…just to photograph,  to keep.   But it would have disrupted their Life cycle….they are so viable,  so In Process.  so vibrant and alive.   I'll watch.    What happens next.   

there's also that vacant lot coming up Lincoln from the Post Office.   Next to the  viaduct.   Everytime i drive past i think i want to stop.  Pull over park and go look.    i could do those things when i had Tay.   I should have then.  Old woman with dog makes sense.    Missed my chance.   Now…. old woman poking around a vacant lot by her Self….?    but urge is growing.  What all kinds of weeds are there?,  medicinal weeds.   Talking weeds.

i tried and tried and tried to post this yesterday and typepad said things like    You must enter a permalink for your post.   I have no idea what that means let alone know how to do that.    Am trying again.

this is what i look like first thing in the morning.  and really, a lot of the time.  You can see part of one of those little plastic butterfly hair clips at the top…a gift from Emrie.

 

 

because Typepad is going through another sensitive phase,  i was afraid to continue adding the the original Post about the  Therapy Group,   or as we might call it now,   the Gathering.   So everytime you see these same two pics you will know it is more information or thoughts about that upcoming happening.

i thought today,  for those who do not know Wendy,  an example of her   "Wendy~ness"  might be good.

Alyssia has been a part of a group for over a year and sometimes shares what they are given as   "homework".  I love this.   A while ago they were asked to make a list of what they considered to be their Core Values.   The week went by and when they returned,  the therapist said he imagined they might have come up with a list of several.  and,   further,  he thought that in some time,  with exploration,  that list would come down to maybe two  or three.    long story short,  i ended up with three.   

Earth love     the need to Make    Family 

and recently,  with the going IN,  as Deep,  to B Garden and Tay's death,    Earth love    has  become    Student of the Universe.   Which is the term i used in the email to Wendy.  And  as i wrote i realized that it's maybe the    Single   core value…from which all else arises.      and then i went on to say i needed to go feed Goats ,  be  on time,   because of  two lizards i have come to know down at Jack Flash's gate.   We meet.  Every morning.   are learning to …..uhhhhhh,    learning to  Know  eachother.   It takes time.

In her response,  among many other things was this:       "it will help you differentiate between meaningful creative time and social time,  time for "research" (walking and listening to the plant/animal world)……" .    when i saw that word

Research

it was as if suddenly there was music,  rays of light,  rainbows,  shooting stars    in my heart!!    Research!   Yes!  it IS exactly that,  not daydreaming,  not   "wasted"  time….but   Research.   She sees this.  She named this thing i am so impelled to do    more and more as days go by.

i think it's the most Beauty Full thing   anyone has ever said to me in my whole life.  

 

 

on the third,  i posted about wishing there could be a therapy group for conflicted old women and then an addendum on 6/5 in response to comments:  "to become a therapy group we would need to be Real time and that's something beyond my reach.  We would also need a facilitator.  We would need to ask the Universe for that."   

on the 6th,  i received an email from Wendy Golden Levett entitled   Gathering around the Well.   She wondered what might become if we gathered on zoom for a Circle of Friends?    she offered to facilitate such a gathering.   Non~judgemental,  confidential,  no cost.      i went back and forth all morning,  reading and reading her mail,  thinking i must have dreamed it. It was as if no less than Carl Jung himself or Marion Woodman herself had appeared.

i have never zoomed.

we have mailed.  And it's true.   She has offered.  

a lot of us know Wendy from Jude's Magic Feather Project.   Know of her oh so tender and Beauty full work with children and textiles in her studio in Toronto.  She is an extremely gifted Jungian therapist who has facilitated women's circles from around the world for over 30 years.   here are some fragments from those emails:

"because Wendy's work values the unconscious world within each of us,  she will Guide us as deeply as each would like to go pertaining to any subject you might be considering to raise in our group.  We can talk about textiles, inner work,  outer work,  health,  spiritual issues,  the earth,  family,  solitude, and other ideas where one is called into relationship."

"It is a group to facilitate a longing, an interest in each of us, to deepen our relationships with other humans,  our precious earth and all the life that pulses and gives us pause…both Joy and Suffering.   Consciousness changes things."

twice now,  typepad has cut me off doing a "security check".   and deleted paragraphs.    I'll finish in morning.

but to  leave….i saw a new kind of lizard today.  Dark but with light outlines along body and legs.  and they lifted their head just enough to show me they have a blue throat…light blue,  but vibrant

email me with thoughts

 

Saturday MORNING,  6/10

i typed that much and already Typepad flashed that security check thing on the screen…..eeeeeeeeeeee     I will remain undaunted.  No te rindas, grace,  ok so

This has all been so spontaneous.  There is hope to begin the first of July.   i have a lot to learn.  Alyssia is my tech person and she and Emrie will be in Michigan at that Grandma Greatgrandma's place for a week.   We will be pushing it.   But it seems important to not hesitate.   

what we will need to do FIRST is find out how many of Us are interested in trying.   Make a List.   and take a survey about Time of day…this will be complicated…We are of such varied time zones,  countries.   and really,  what day of the week.  enough for the moment.   

I'll leave this post up a couple days.  keep adding to it here as thoughts arise.

this is just so amazing to me.   a Threshold.  a Once in a LifeTime Opportunity…that phrase  once in a lifetime taking on a different meaning at 77 years.    I am SOOOOOOO Happy to even be considering this happening…and maybe that's one of the first things i would  "bring to the Well"…..how do i reconcile great personal happiness with the pervasive Angst in this world?

so if you are interested,  please Email me and add any thoughts you might have.  We will form this as We go.  Before i get cut off again,  i'll go for now and come back later today. 

Love and Love and more