002  i have this cloth of Jude's.   her words for it when it was in her shop included these:

"a playing card sort of thing, maybe a hand you deal yourself".

so in this moment, it is in this Theater.  the central strip remains in place to cover the seam.

jude's cloth is there only for the moment but i needed to see it there.  it was/is a catalyst for a huge understanding that came with the thought: what if i had dealt that hand myself, to myself? 

20 years ago, i was on "my way".  i did not know a destination, but i was Going.  then, a crossroad appeared and i hesitated, played a quick game of solitare and veered to the left.  at first the new territory was beautiful and full of everything i wanted it to be.  there was a magician and this world belonged to him.  and slowly over time it became something quite different than in the beginning when it had fit perfectly into an illusion that i had yet to understand.  it has been over for going on 6 years now. i had forgotten tho, so much.  the spell was very strong and took a long time to even begin to wear off. 

so the big question now is: Now What?  and the understanding of the moment is that there IS no single and specific true answer.  what is important is that i carry the question with me through each moment now, that i carry it Care-full y and Mind-full y.  no time to waste anymore. not a tiny second.

these thing are important this morning:

a quote from HH the Dalai Lama: "Whatever is designated by delusion is to be acknowledged.  Due to cultivating compassion while on the spiritual path, the fruition of full awakening is attained.  Who attains awakening? That too, is to be established conventionally, without examination or analysis.  In order to pacify the suffering of oneself and others, impure appearances that arise due to ignorance are not to be rejected."

Women Who Run With the Wolves     Clarissa Pinkola~Estes

Laurie Anderson     Big Science                Let X=X         on Utube

ShaSha Higby   The Glass Jungle, White Ash on Water  on Utube

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in

37 responses to “subject to a LOT of revision”

  1. deanna7trees Avatar

    now, truly theatre. and there is only the moment…

    Like

  2. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    also, laurie anderson u tube Born, never asked.

    Like

  3. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    YES!…it makes some kind of sense to you?????????

    Like

  4. deanna7trees Avatar

    yes, it absolutely makes sense to me. it took me many years for that to happen. wish i was better with words but since i’m not, i have to leave it at that.

    Like

  5. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    your words put your arm around my shoulders as we walk. very good words. thank you.

    Like

  6. jude hill Avatar

    oh ha! we are in the same play!

    Like

  7. KaiteM. Avatar

    just try to be fully there in the present moment…k.

    Like

  8. nance Avatar

    subject to a lot of revision… oh yes… it is a blanket statement that it always true and at the same time untrue as every moment is perfect… hard to wrap myself around that right now but at the same time in ways i am not privileged to understand i believe it to be true. i also hold that belief is our choice.
    lets move down a couple of layers… i think about the puppet theater that you will someday build for julian. here is a prototype that you use in your own life. i deeply thank you for sharing this with us grace. love…

    Like

  9. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    am thinking its all the same play, different Theaters?

    Like

  10. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    thanks to you, nance. it will be interesting to see
    how this goes. i really like it a lot.

    Like

  11. judykeathley@cox.net Avatar
    judykeathley@cox.net

    makes me think of these words from rainer maria rilke—
    “have patience with everything unresolved in your heart & try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language.
    live the question now.
    someday, you will live your way into the answer”

    Like

  12. Deb G Avatar

    Oh this is just wonderful! Can’t help but think of Shakespeare, “”All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players…”

    Like

  13. Catherine V. Bainbridge Avatar

    I’m not sure it’s possible to understand an illusion, since it is a distortion of reality. Perhaps the best we can do then, is try to understand how/why we were deluded??? I think it has to do with our deeper needs??? And I like what Judy Keathley has written from Rilke. Perhaps we are each moment living our way into the answer???

    Like

  14. twhich Avatar

    i’ve spent most of the day thinking about this. i keep coming back to the page. something wasn’t getting in my brain in order for me to form words about it.
    then i realized…
    the cards we deal ourselves.
    the cards i dealt myself.
    and this was a wall.
    there is some comfort in ‘the cards we are dealt’.
    an absolution.
    i’ll be back.

    Like

  15. twhich Avatar

    oh and when i saw this, i thought ‘ta-da!’ 🙂
    like a magic trick…
    a magician’s curtain

    Like

  16. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    judykeathley….”books written in a very foreign language…..live the question now.”
    thank you so much for this quote…i remember it, but
    could not find it. Yes.
    Enough to live the Question.
    thank you for this, and thank you for coming here….
    i will look for you.

    Like

  17. judykeathley@cox.net Avatar
    judykeathley@cox.net

    catherine—what do you think these deeper needs are —-that allow us to be deluded?
    are they very individual/personal—–or maybe —universal…??

    Like

  18. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    catherine…i am glad you are here.
    illusion/distortion of reality/needs
    maybe its all simply kinds of learning?
    and yes…we live our way into the answer. this i think
    floats on solid ground…..
    i am so excited to wake tomorrow and see what goes on
    that cloth…on the Cloth Theater….i have NO idea….
    xo

    Like

  19. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    twhich…yes. we will
    be back
    and forth
    and yes….that’s the point.
    and my second question for the year is
    What, exactly, is the
    point?
    i really love you

    Like

  20. judykeathley@cox.net Avatar
    judykeathley@cox.net

    thank you ,grace, for such a sweet welcome..

    Like

  21. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    well…thank YOU. you picked up the thread and
    wove it. nothing could possibly be better~

    Like

  22. twhich Avatar

    grace… this had left me thinking HARD. and i woke up straight out of my sleep about an hour and a half ago now, with this on my mind.
    i had to understand.
    for you to be able to say ‘now what?’
    this means you have taken that step away from what WAS.
    what WAS is truly in some type of past tense.
    [the picture that came to my mind was of you standing outside of a big black cauldron of boiling soup. and then i thought no not soup, ‘stew’. and then ‘no longer stewing’. being able to be outside of the boiling mess.]
    i was/am still playing with the cauldron (hence the block wall). in it because of the guilt i feel for allowing myself to be lured into the cauldron. and this guilt keeps me tied to it.
    in order for me to be able to say ‘now what?’ too, i realized i’d have to forgive myself for dealing myself those cards.
    and maybe this is more important for the present moment than trying to figure out why. for seven years it’s been the why. a way for me to disassociate.
    the BEing ABLE to say ‘now what?’ is IT! i couldn’t say that until this morning. i’m in tears. tears of relief.
    for me, right now, this IS the point…

    Like

  23. twhich Avatar

    now in re-reading the post, i see the mention of the man and the magician. i did not (consciously) catch that.
    hmmm… i meant you were the magician.
    but then in the context of the post
    i guess that always is the case
    we are the magicians…
    and how did the quote go? can be viewed in either direction… 🙂
    much mucho love!!!

    Like

  24. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    twhich, i have taken many steps away. but what remained
    lost, or numbed maybe?, was the energy to create. the
    details are different for everyone.
    but it’s through cloth making that i can stitch and weave things whole again. cloth making allows me to remember that creative joy and the ways i know to stitch the stories of what matters to me into being.
    Shine on…………xxoo g

    Like

  25. manya Avatar

    i was reminded of this
    the Hodja (Nasruddin) was looking for something under the streetlamp. His friends asked what he had lost. He said “I’m looking for my keys”
    they ask “is this where you lost them?” “No,” says the Hodja “I lost them near the door to the house” “but why are you searching here? far from y0ur house?” and Nasruddin says “Where else should I look? It is dark by my house, this is where the light is.”
    I have been reading and rereading this post too

    Like

  26. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    manya..yes! i have loved this story for a long time and
    am happy to see it here………
    the Theater is now just the linen back drop…that french
    seam down the middle and i am looking at it, thinking
    i might make some cloth onto it…as a continuous/ing
    backdrop. keep it that way and place small cloths i make
    upon it, letting them take “center stage” and tell me
    their stories. ?
    i love your morning window, thank you for showing it to me.
    xo x lots, g

    Like

  27. ateliercolore Avatar

    i’ve always found the walking more important then the destination, that can change by the people you meet.
    Each day i learn better to bring my own magic in my walk.
    Cloth magic.
    XXXm

    Like

  28. ateliercolore Avatar

    comment disappeard………. thats magic!
    XXXm

    Like

  29. Natima Avatar

    Hi Grace, I have posted a couples on my BORO cloth and here they are:
    http://notjustnat.blogspot.com/2010/10/alternative-quilting-read-on.html
    and here is the second one:
    http://notjustnat.blogspot.com/2010/11/family-time.html
    I have not update what I did at the holidays yet. Thanks for your interest – hugs Nat

    Like

  30. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    but then, it didn’t!, even more magic.
    Martine…thanks for coming. for whatever reason, your
    pic of you in the window is very good to me…like it a
    lot. like you focusing in…………xo

    Like

  31. joe Avatar

    gentle grace. david mamet once said, “when you come into the theater, you have to be willing to say, “we’re all here to undergo a communion, to find out what the hell is going on in this world.” if you’re not willing to say that, what you get is entertainment instead of art, and poor entertainment at that.”
    you, my dear, are definitely creating a theater here! i can already feel the communion forming and the whispers of “what the hell is going on” abound! breathe. be. unfold. trust. it is becoming!
    namaste’
    p.s. i am a deep shade of verdigris that you have living with you one of jude’s cloths!!

    Like

  32. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    joe…that is a really great quote and speaks to a LOT.
    and as to your deep shade of verdigris (i had to look
    that up), go deeper. there are Four. you just have to
    have a really strong determination and a fast finger.
    xo

    Like

  33. joe madl Avatar

    dang! guess i’ll have to be a deeper shade of forest green or something…. especially since my finger is not that fast!
    namaste’

    Like

Leave a reply to judykeathley@cox.net Cancel reply