first to say that nothing i write at this time might be true. it might change by this afternoon, or even, in the next second, before i get through touching the keys to create the words. BUT. i think something is straightening itself out in my mind. and it might have to do with this:
or not, i don't really know, but i think so.
for Sure, it DOES have to do with this:
i have been having
feelings
that i don't know what to do with. that are not convenient. and i think that it has been my propensity in all of what i could call my past to uhhhh, just change things around so that what i am faced with can be somehow accomodated by Change. but
recently, a woman who is a noted astrologer was brought to my attention by a friend who had a reading done because she is very ill. she is on the literal edge of life and death and she, it seems, has some choice. the astrologer is Marguerite Manning, the book that i got to educate myself a little with our conversations is: Cosmic Karma understanding your contract with the universe. all this might seem a little glib, for a case of life and death, but really, it is not. although i have never chosen astrology as a place of intense focus, it is really just another Point of View of the same Truth as the buddhism that i do choose as my spiritual home. anyway upon getting the book, i of course, looked myself up. Sun in Sagittarius. and something has been floating in my mind for a few days now and this morning, a crack in my thinking appeared. i realize that i have been trying to circumvent the reality of what is happening with this moving thing by creating a story for it that just somehow makes it beautiful. instead of Hard. it's Hard. it might also turn out to be very beautiful, but to jump over what is happening now, to not understand that it is a once in a lifetime opportunity to LEARN would be, well, a really BIG MISTAKE. those words, Once in a Lifetime echo. so…here we go.
windthread 
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