first to say that nothing i write at this time might be true.  it might change by this afternoon, or even, in the next second, before i get through touching the keys to create the words.   BUT.  i think something is straightening itself out in my mind.  and it might have to do with this:

003 
or not, i don't really know, but i think so. 

for Sure, it DOES have to do with this:001

i have been having

feelings

that i don't know what to do with.  that are not convenient.  and i think that it has been my propensity in all of what i could call my           past        to         uhhhh, just change things around so that what i am faced with can be somehow accomodated by Change.   but

recently,  a woman who is a noted astrologer was brought to my attention by a friend who had a reading done because she is very ill.  she is on the literal edge of life and death and she, it seems, has some        choice.   the astrologer is Marguerite Manning, the book that i got to educate myself a little with our conversations is:  Cosmic Karma    understanding your contract with the universe.   all this might seem a little glib, for a case of life and death, but really, it is not.  although i  have never chosen astrology as a place of intense focus,  it is really just another Point of View of the same Truth as the buddhism that i do choose as my spiritual home.  anyway          upon getting the book, i of course, looked myself up.  Sun in Sagittarius.   and something has been floating in my mind for a few days now and this morning,  a crack in my thinking appeared.  i realize that i have been trying to circumvent the reality of what is happening with this moving thing by creating a story for it that just somehow makes it          beautiful.  instead of Hard.   it's Hard.  it might also turn out to be very beautiful, but to jump over what is happening now, to not understand that it is a once in a lifetime opportunity to LEARN  would be, well, a really BIG MISTAKE.  those words, Once in a Lifetime echo.  so…here we go.002

 

 

 
 

 

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9 responses to “ok”

  1. Valerianna Avatar

    Acknowledgement of the story, for me, is always empowering…. wondering how you will dance with this…

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  2. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    i’m wondering too. we’ll find out together

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  3. jude hill Avatar

    here we go. it’s the hard that softens us i think. the learning part is key. everything is easy when you know how i think, later you can step back and see. it’s hard to show just haw hard things are to others.

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  4. nance Avatar

    “it’s hard to show just haw hard things are to others.” profound… even if we walk in someone else’s shoes, its still hard to know.

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  5. deanna7trees Avatar

    we learn very little about ourselves without HARD.

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  6. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    hard and HARD. yes. kinds of hard, degrees of hard.
    hard as in that cloth of Jude’s i love so much where her words
    are “maybe a hand you dealt yourself”.
    i think it is true to say that i have always liked a certain degree
    of hard…experiencing it as challenge, to see if i could.
    to see what would happen.
    this time, though, it’s not just me calling the shots. i’ve
    somehow, almost unbeknownst to my self, agreed to play partners.

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  7. cindy Avatar

    hard. hard is hard. but stopping to look at the hard, to be with it and acknowledging its presence, sometimes that allows you to see the truth of it, and hopefully a few soft edges to it. i tend to have an inner panic at hard, but am slowly learning this stopping & thinking & being that allows the truth to surface. part of the wonder woman bracelet’s story. love to you.

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  8. judy keathley Avatar

    it seems for some it can be “easy’ to skip over the hard. i don’t really think it is.
    parts of being alive are hard. its just how it is.
    so i think to be really alive is to
    face hard–
    to say yeah this is HARD —& then figure out ones own way to move THROUGH it —
    feeling it —
    it sucks sometimes —
    but how else are we to fully live —
    because its just not TRUE to act like theres no hard —
    10000 joys –10000 sorrows —some buddhists say —
    i do think it can soften us —maybe its the main thing that softens us —
    to really experience that this hurts like hell—
    & keep going anyway
    the wonder womans bracelet story —
    amen
    blessed be

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  9. Nancy Avatar

    “that are not convenient”…sometimes they are not, yet i never thought of it this way.
    hard is too hard sometimes and we (I) just hide hoping hard will go away. and sometimes hard feels like cement and I think I shall be stuck there forever. But sometimes the view from hard is full of peace and beauty and it gives you the strength to push through. Maybe not everyday, or consistently…but push and chip away you do.
    We all need a bracelet I have decided.

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