it didn't even rain and there was a                  rainbow            by the time i got back outside, it was just a blur….but can you see it?

001

and this is the last from the pots.  they are from only here and there, but look how beauty full they are even this way,  in the light this evening.  it's why this state is called the Land of Enchantment.

002
 
 
so, the Big step.  at the grocery store.  i wandered until Tajuana's line was empty and then

i said…you know,  i'm thinking that i'm not gonna get it right this year.    so….how about we just do it.   she said     OK.   

i really like her.   she is maybe late 40's?   actually, i think she said she was 50.  her daughter used to work there too.  she's in her 20's.    we talk.  exchange a lot of info actually in the time it takes for her to ring up my stuff and bag it.   but that has been the extent of our "friendship".  that line.   but i have known enough about her to know that maybe, just maybe, she might take this Place on.  she has a house in town.  but, in the exchanges,  i have said that she could rent that house and live here.  it's a thought.  all she would have to do here is utilities.  they are modest, if     and that's a BIG  IF, if she can live like i do.    maybe.    i know she heats with wood she hauls and splits right now.   that's a big sign.   and,  she has a great quirky sense of humor.  you would need that too. 

so…the agreement of the moment was that after next week,  which will be devoted to Alz. B and her family visitors,,,,,,, after that week, we will chose a time and she will come.   i'll tell her the whole story.  she will listen.  we'll see.               the reason that i am wanting to "go forward with something" now, even tho it's at least a year away,  is that i would like to know what someone else would

need

if they lived here.  and that way, i can do those things.    so, it's been quite a day.

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in

39 responses to “took a Big step today”

  1. Suzanna Avatar

    A very fine thing this could be. The sky and the cloths are magnificent, Grace…I especially like the angel, second from left.

    Like

  2. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    Suzanna…i am so glad you saw this post and commented.
    makes me feel good like a “yes”.
    and i like it that you refer to second to left as the
    Angel….tonight it is. such a beauty full Beauty Full
    evening…so full of all that i love here. there is a
    little tenderness overflowing.
    and in thinking about it all, i know that i
    could not leave
    unless there would be a similar expance of horizon. i have
    woven my heart deep into that and i rely on it for a lot.
    so…i need to help the daughter get to that Place. the
    Next Place. then, i can go.
    thank you….love,

    Like

  3. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    To no one in particular….just the Night, i guess.
    i just went out with the flashlight to turn off one of the hoses
    and the night is well…………the night is just so
    THICK
    with nightness.
    the crickets and cricket like beings are now singing that song that is one long continuous note that only happens this time of season.
    When do they breathe? there is no pause. none.
    and the sky, that thing we call sky
    is so full of stars those things we call stars
    that it’s just overwhelming.
    such
    a
    beauty
    fulllllllllll
    night

    Like

  4. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    somehow, put this on this cloth. ok.

    Like

  5. Deb G Avatar

    That is big, a very big step… and sounds like it could be good. Your motivation is the best.

    Like

  6. Sandy Avatar

    Your night sky sounds like a wonder filled, beauty filled addition to your cloth!

    Like

  7. Wendy Avatar

    Wow, just to everything here Grace; I wondered how that place was going to continue after you continued on to somewhere else; now I know it is as simple, as elegant as just finding someone. Perfect.
    I’m going to go remember night out of the city. Thank you Grace.

    Like

  8. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    what i would like is that someone live here that really
    wants to live here. it’s a Place of that Basic Goodness.
    but
    you would have to be willing to deal with all that it is
    and
    is
    not.
    i still, can see total Continuing
    here
    but am willing to let that go for the Goat Farm.
    i would like tho
    for some woman to have it.

    Like

  9. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    Sandy…it is.
    and i just went out again and there are even
    more
    stars.
    i left that cloth there.

    Like

  10. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    yup.
    it can be totally
    simple.
    but simple is not always what anyone wants. so, we’ll see.
    someone will
    WANT
    it.
    i am sure.
    and if they do, then…it’s theirs. done deal.
    yes. night outof city. it is as it has always been. as
    i hope it will always be.
    Love to you, Wendy

    Like

  11. Sandy Avatar

    a perfect connection! I just went outside and our sky is now clear( it’s been raining for days). Stars shining, crickets and frogs chirping. Your cloth will love it out there tonight!

    Like

  12. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    yes. N Mex Connecticut. yup.

    Like

  13. jude Avatar

    i would live there if i could go.
    all night the crickets, and there is one near the chimney under the wood pile tonight. in the studio.

    Like

  14. Jacqui Avatar

    Hello Sweet, Kind, Grace
    I hear in your post a testing of wings………….
    stretching, lifting, breathing…..like a Monarch butterfly emerging from its chrysallis.
    Kindest Regards

    Like

  15. handstories Avatar

    there is bigness going on all around and in you.
    i miss a sky full of stars here in the city.

    Like

  16. Nancy Avatar

    Yes this post feels so big and soft…gentle and important…so real.
    SO real.

    Like

  17. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    Your place, years ago you called an agricultural substation for all that thrived, with a lot of hard work and caring. When I set foot on your land, the first thing I did was to kneel down and hold a handful of dirt; Rich walked over to your trees,and your compost pile and we smiled. We recognized this place, I felt deeply this sanctuary: a place for everything to live in harmony: the little feather and Indian rice grasses to sway in the wind, Willow man, olive, smoke, Mexican elderberry trees, grapes, yellow peppers, tomatoes, squash, gourds, your wonderful dogs, beloved guinea hen Fiona, the birds, the endearing lizards and spadefoot toads, all in this place. Even my fear of your old bull snake left as I walked on your land.
    The one who will come will feel this in her bones.

    Like

  18. Mo'a Romig-Boyles Avatar

    My favorite state, in this union, is New Mexico…Every time we visit NM we feel a stirring in our blood…an enchantment. This is how I feel when I visit you here…enchanted. I can hear the sounds and feel the coolness of the evening.
    She will come, as Marti said…truthfully, I am a little jealous of Marti 🙂
    Did you make the Angel Wings? How beautiful your line looks…

    Like

  19. Michelle in NYC Avatar

    How exciting!
    (sent this to Jude today, so here’s one for you–
    For everything
    Turn Turn turn
    There is a season
    Turn turn turn
    And a time for every p[urpose under heaven
    http://youtu.be/BUNpkMs2fL8

    Like

  20. Patty M Avatar

    My first thought was ‘this is the way things want to work but we get in the way-our heads and worry’. Gentle and generous-not grasping.
    I love your light there.

    Like

  21. grace Forrest~Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest~Maestas

    i wish you could.
    there are crickets everywhere not. in the kitchen sink
    bathtub. or, maybe the same one? i shush it out. maybe
    it just goes around?
    i have such a response to this end of summer cricket
    mantra. it quiets me. i am listening to it as i write
    this.
    i’ll have to make a cricket on the Diaries cloth.

    Like

  22. grace Forrest~Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest~Maestas

    Jacqui…well…i don’t know. i really don’t know any
    of it. but am willing for Anything at all that will
    work. i guess i just am wanting this Place to
    continue.

    Like

  23. jude Avatar

    yes. a cricket. i am listening here too. i brought a lot of wood indoors. they love the wood piles. the house is singing. !

    Like

  24. grace Forrest~Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest~Maestas

    yes. that sky takes care of a lot, just by living under
    it, everyday, knowing that it’s up there and so huge.
    for so long in my life, i couldn’t look up into it for
    long. it frightened me…it’s enormity and endlessness.
    but at some point, it simply took me in and now, whenever
    stuff seems to make no sense, i just look up into it
    and
    continue. i am learning to love this word so very much

    Like

  25. grace Forrest~Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest~Maestas

    i like it. i have NO idea, really, what i will say. to
    her. in the grocery check out line she has heard that
    i will need to leave, how long i have been here, some of
    what i have done, the changes this last year have caused.
    but really, that might be it. so… i am looking forward
    to see what comes out of my mouth.

    Like

  26. grace Forrest~Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest~Maestas

    Marti.
    oh, Marti.
    your own deep connection with land colors your vision.
    Ag substation. yes.
    what that meant to me then was
    see what grows
    what that means to me today, is see what
    survives.
    it has changed a lot since you and Rich were here. i hope
    some how maybe you will see it again before i leave. that
    i can tell you the story as it has unfolded and you can
    SEE it. i spent this day working out there. thinking about all of things. how i would spend really, my Life
    working out there and now,
    there is the cloth.
    i don’t know how to think about this. in a way, it is like
    abandoning the sub station. but in another, the cloth
    has allowed me some objective vision of what i was asking
    of the land.
    i don’t know.
    but it is so valuable to me that you were here. that you
    stood on it, looked.
    Saw.

    Like

  27. Nancy Avatar

    I believe it will come as it should Grace. You are so patient…thoughtful…
    it will come.

    Like

  28. grace Forrest~Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest~Maestas

    yes. turn turn turn.

    Like

  29. grace Forrest~Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest~Maestas

    Patty, it is such beautyfull light.

    Like

  30. grace Forrest~Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest~Maestas

    Mo’a…it’s just an amazing part of this world, N mex.
    and i smile, about the “jealous”.
    Both Marti and Nance are internet friends…as Alzheimer’s
    B refers to them as my faceless friends.
    we began knowing eachother maybe 8 years ago??? in an
    online writing group. they both are the same to me as
    family, as blood sisters, which i have none of. both
    have been here. a few years ago.
    Marti’s vision of this place is unique to Marti. the
    actual singular acre IS what i have loved it into being, this is true. but the truth is that i live in a very
    simple poor community. a mix of so much, like all of
    new mex is.
    the angel wings are just a torn fragment of cloth from
    the thrift shop and yes
    clotheslines, cloth lines. they stand for and say
    so much.

    Like

  31. grace Forrest~Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest~Maestas

    it again reminds me to think of the symbol of the
    kaliedascope
    how all the pieces fall somehow into so many beautiful
    patterns
    i don’t know. i am just Opening to it.

    Like

  32. grace Forrest~Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest~Maestas

    such earnest beings, crickets.
    i watched grasshoppers tonight as i finished hauling
    wheelbarrows of weeds. they never come inside, tho they
    are similar beings. maybe it’s because they are very into
    sex. lots of grasshopper sex going on out there. i kinda
    hated disturbing them by pulling the weed they were busy on.
    but again, as Marti said, it’s an agricultural substation.
    they are on their own. they can wreck havoc.

    Like

  33. nance Avatar

    grace. maybe she is the one. i have held deep in my heart that you would find someone like this to be on your beautiful beloved land and be in sheltered in your most wonderful home, cook in your sweet kitchen…

    Like

  34. grace Forrest~Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest~Maestas

    oh, my kitchen. my kitchen.
    maybe.
    love,

    Like

  35. jude Avatar

    i think all creatures have a way to get out of hand.

    Like

  36. Eva Ucgatwork Avatar

    Yes, good luck, Grace!!
    I’ll have a toast on you tonight, on good health, a small share of wealth (well, just for the sake of the rhyme!) and LOVE.
    Enjoy the weekend,
    eva

    Like

  37. Drucilla Pettibone Avatar

    grace, i’m so moved by this post. your way of continuing. it’s so gentle, beautiful. i have usually hidden myself away from change and movement, and then it swallows me. you are a great teacher.

    Like

  38. grace Forrest~Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest~Maestas

    a toast to it All……., yes!

    Like

  39. grace Forrest~Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest~Maestas

    in the visit with the old friend from long ago, i had
    an opportunity to hear from her the perception she had/has
    of many things that i had come to question, second guess,
    about how i “moved” through my life. it was quite
    surprising. i don’t feel much of a teacher of any of
    it, i just am learning to watch closely and let IT
    happen.
    or something like that
    thank you for your encouragement, though…. validates
    the experiment

    Like

Leave a reply to Deb G Cancel reply