windthread

recent posts

about

Cloth Friday

002

day after maybe my most conflicted American holiday and i read there are going to be 150 million shoppers out there this weekend.    i spent yesterday trying to ease the Alz. person i am involved with of her conflicted feelings about her less than satisfactory Thanksgiving.  i did this by arriving at her house at the crack of dawn to begin chopping celery and onions for the stuffing for the smallest turkey i could find which was 10.85 lbs.  for the two of us.  many of her feelings rose from her difficulty with her mind, but really, the ones that were hardest to deal with for me were from her bitterness and anger about not having the kind of Thanksgiving Day to which she feels entitiled.   and she would like to be driven into Albuquerque today for shopping.

we all have our own thinking about ThanksGiving,  Christmas.   Holidays.  she is only typical.  one generation older than i.  and probably the poster child for it all.  

but to be perfectly honest,  i don't think i can pull this off one more year.  i have tweaked my interpretation of Thanksgiving and Christmas for many years now, but somehow, even when my own family has for the most part gotten the drift,  i find myself having all these feelings again and again and again.  and somehow these two holidays seem to be the beginning and end and beginning of a cycle that continues for the next year.  i NEED to identify and then BEGIN really doing many things differently this year.  i am tired of saying, "Oh well". 

So, i don't know.  but instead of Black Friday, today is finally again Cloth Friday.  more kantha.   and a lot of deep thinking.  things have to change.

 

 

 

 

Posted in

28 responses to “Cloth Friday”

  1. deanna7trees Avatar
    deanna7trees

    i learned to say no many years ago. yesterday was magic cloth day for me. have a great cloth day.

    Like

    Reply
  2. Jane Edler-Davis Avatar
    Jane Edler-Davis

    In Canada, the big sale day is Boxing Day.. but this year the stores seem to have taken on Black Friday.
    I like YOUR idea of Cloth Friday.
    Let’s see if we can make a go of it..!?!?!

    Like

    Reply
  3. Eva Ucgatwork Avatar
    Eva Ucgatwork

    Hi Grace,
    “Black Friday”…I thought that’s when the stock exchange tumbled down decades ago. So, now everybody is going on a shopping-trip, spending money people usually don’t even have. Strange world!!
    Grace,you are doing a great job with good ol’ Alz. I smiled reading about the turkey dinner, that seems to be essential to all of you – reading about the smallest available turkey (which is still enormous) – that was the first time I REALLY understand how important that bird is! It actually made me smile…it’s like having goose around the 11th November (Saint Martin) here in Germany.Those traditions aren’t that bad – I just imagined you and “Alz” together..you are a kind woman, Grace!!
    Have a fantastic weekend,
    eva
    Grace,

    Like

    Reply
  4. Jeannie Avatar
    Jeannie

    My heart goes out to you Grace. I tried to make Alz happy and finally realized that I could not. The guilt that accompanied that almost ruined me. To let go is difficult, but for your own sake, you must. I have never understood or participated in Black Friday. I find it brings out the worst in human nature. I would rather stitch and knit or walk along the river – quietly. Wishing you peace as you stitch.

    Like

    Reply
  5. Drucilla Pettibone Avatar
    Drucilla Pettibone

    can you explain more about your feelings, when you’re ready? i’m so out of the consumerist loop that i can’t even see what’s wrong with the holiday. other than the history i mean. i can get a little angsty around holidays, they bring up certain memories and longings, but i think you’re talking about something deeper.

    Like

    Reply
  6. KaiteM. Avatar
    KaiteM.

    dive deeply into your cloth grace, stitch it up over your head and breathe, i understand your feelings altho interpreted Aussie style.
    i heard that one woman in the US was arrested for using tear gas against other shoppers who got in her way! over here i see road rage and parking rage the days before christmas. our Indigenous people call Australia Day – Invasion Day. we don’t ‘celebrate’ either.

    Like

    Reply
  7. Nance Avatar
    Nance

    I like the idea of celebrating thanks…gratefulness…I don’t like the history of it. I don’t like the expectations of all the feast foods….even self imposed. Dont get me wrong…I like the traditional thanksgiving turkey and the trappings… It’s yummy. It’s fun to have a house full of people you love to share it all with. But do we have that? I am down to three people… And this year foe the first time I didn’t cook a turkey…we had seafood soup. It was a lovely meal full of love and thankfulness. We all cooked together then ate together. It was healthier and we still had a fun time…maybe it was even better than normal because it was so relaxed. We had good meaningful conversation. It was in many ways perfect.

    Like

    Reply
  8. Nancy Avatar
    Nancy

    At different points in my life the holidays have brought on different stresses. This year was no different in that way. But, with that being said, it was still a nice day with some family (even if the turkey did catch on fire! Yikes!!)
    As for shopping…don’t do that. I think I did more so years ago when shopping for the children and needed good deals to do so. This year, I’m making a few things, passing on special things and calling it a day! 🙂
    I find that the traditions are what have been important to me, and even those are changing so much. Maybe that was part of the disappointment for ALz this year. I find it hard to loose traditions, even when it turns out OK in the end. It is still a process.
    I tooo would like to hear more of you specific thoughts on this.
    Hugs to you
    Nancy

    Like

    Reply
  9. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest Maestas

    have not fully learned yet.
    i think maybe because i still must think i am able to
    change things for the better. i need to let that go.

    Like

    Reply
  10. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest Maestas

    Jane…HELLO!!!! and yes. it’s like a blight upon our
    near neighbor, Canada…
    ok and YES! let’s see if we can!!!

    Like

    Reply
  11. Valerianna Avatar
    Valerianna

    I have always liked the family gatherings at Thanksgiving and Christmas, though my big holidays are Samhain and Winer Solstice. The only way they work for me ( T-day & X-mas) is to always be STUBBORN and GENTLY demand something of soul and substance to enter into the days. I was in awe this Thanksgiving that my niece seems to have taken over that task and bought each person a small card to write down a few things we were grateful for, pass them around the table until she said “STOP”, and then we went around reading them. It was fun cause it was always very clear who’s was who’s. She is the “keeper of the gratitude” this year, next year I’ve been charged with making the cards and then holding them for the year. So I guess its the inclusion of rituals that deepen that save me. And I, too, would love to hear more about your feelings.
    On another note, I was APPALLED when driving home as I was stuck in traffic for a bit. I thought it was a usual holiday back-up until I passed the OUTLET exit and realized that cars were backed up for miles – literally -stopped and waiting to just get off of the exit for the outlets. As I drove by, I could see the access road to the outlet malls was bumper to bumper and not moving for another few miles. Those folks must have been there hours. And where were they going to park? I drove as fast in the other direction as possible and marveled at this. Are the sales sooo amazingly good on Black Friday that its worth sitting in traffic for a few hours just to go BUY something? Get me to the forest I cried!
    (Oy my, loooonnngggg comment!)

    Like

    Reply
  12. Nancy Avatar
    Nancy

    Oh yes Valerianna…they were camping out in front of the Target store on our way home at 9:30PM!!! Just Not my thing!
    However, I do really like the writing down and keeping of the gratitude. We go around the table and say something, but that always puts a mild ‘pressure’ to come up with something to say to the group, everyone trying to be clever!

    Like

    Reply
  13. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest Maestas

    Eva, it’s CRAZY, this turkey thing, really. Really!
    and maybe i am wrong about other countries…having not
    been to Germany, i really couldn’t say, but we are SO
    mindlessly excessive here, i think. they turkeys we buy,
    too, are creepy. injected with things to make them
    juicy. oh well………SEE, there i said it again….
    and i’m not all that kind. i’ve known her and her
    family for many years and they have known me. i am blunt.
    but it seems to go ok for the most part. sometimes i’d
    just like to get blunt-er.
    xoxo

    Like

    Reply
  14. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest Maestas

    well, i’m with you.
    i’ve never done the shopping thing either, except when
    my kids were really little, i’d buy them a “good”
    christmas, but it’s the commitment to Excess in supposedly
    difficult times that is seemingly ignored….
    hmmmm.

    Like

    Reply
  15. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest Maestas

    Dru…the minute i pushed the Publish button i wished i’d
    not done that.
    there is no point going on and on here.
    i have always vowed to refrain from the “political” as
    much as possible here and should.
    so…love to you,

    Like

    Reply
  16. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest Maestas

    yes. over my head and breathe. that’s the Plan.

    Like

    Reply
  17. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest Maestas

    i don’t know, nance

    Like

    Reply
  18. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest Maestas

    it’s not stress, it’s true concern for humanity, the
    planet. and again, this is not really the place.
    so, love,

    Like

    Reply
  19. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest Maestas

    yes.

    Like

    Reply
  20. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest Maestas

    yes. always did that with my kids. the question
    How do other people live, in this country, on the
    Planet…What is Their life like today????
    but even if you spend time thinking about how Lucky
    you are,
    it doesn’t do much for the world we are more and more
    find ourselves living in.
    Every human being would like
    some.
    our consumerism tells us to want More. to want as much
    as we possibly can have.
    again…it’s political. and not the place for it here.

    Like

    Reply
  21. helen salo Avatar
    helen salo

    Celebration of thankfulness..gratefulness..family (no matter how many in attendance)…love…No bitchyness allowed…laughter…one of our families MOST celebrated holidays. Now for the friday business….Me and my family have always been a make it family with pure simplicity. I don’t think I even enter a store the whole month of December.It’s the month to be creative with what you have and the gift of time for others. I’m very thankful all my circle is on this same page.

    Like

    Reply
  22. Yvonne Avatar
    Yvonne

    I want to ‘gobble’ your cloth up – my kind of feast! And I’m grateful to see the glorious shapes, colours and texture of your cloth!

    Like

    Reply
  23. Vicky Avatar
    Vicky

    that tree is really taking on more life….and it looks soothing to sit with.
    we had a a really strange turkey day….the food all came out perfect! the gravy wasn’t lumpy nor go flying, the turkey wasn’t a dried up ole lump, the fresh cranberry sauce was a bit hit with my girls, i was able to leave the skins on the spuds and the fresh yams were just the ticket….this was for sure the first year without a major flop somewhere in the day.
    otherwise, i came to dread the holidays because of my husband…no gift was good enough, so i finally said, ok, no gifts! much easier that way. he gets what he wants for himself, finds a surprise for me, and all is good again.
    hugs for you grace, while you find your way…

    Like

    Reply
  24. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    Hard to change habits of some. We can only be present to our own daily unfolding and continue to show by example, our beliefs. For some, traditions and rituals hold a deep place; I include myself in that category and both in my life, have nothing to do with consumerism. Giving of self is what I am speaking of and in that sense, grace, you light up the planet.

    Like

    Reply
  25. jude Avatar
    jude

    the question is do we look at what we do, can we be more aware of the context. can we change and be part of a more sympathetic evolution?

    Like

    Reply
  26. handstories Avatar
    handstories

    we must be related. i looked at these 4 days as days to stitch and spin, with no obligations of going, or doing. it’s been good. there was no turkey. no shopping, there were the day to day squabbles ( i even threw a shoe at one point), and there was gratitude for these days of just being able to be.

    Like

    Reply
  27. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest Maestas

    we are SO related.
    Thank You for telling me this.

    Like

    Reply
  28. Tammy Avatar
    Tammy

    had a stop over here ….been gone too long ……and i get here to the end of the comments and read them and thought yes …..stayed home for the holiday grateful to not drive any where. Digging around the property with my son and cooking comfort food and making art….sewing…. busy…and I just want to stay home.

    Like

    Reply

Leave a reply to KaiteM. Cancel reply