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day to day

this was the longest day yet. 

it began innocently and  almost peacefully.  but then,  the momentum rose. 

i don't really feel comfortable with     Help.  but i cannot put up all this fencing without it.  and so…help comes.  i have had more company in the last days than i have had for going on 17 years.  Everybody   loves   goats.  Everybody  wants to Help. 

and how do you think about this?  the little Julian, 2 and a half,  said to his mom when we left California that night last week with all the goats loaded in the horse trailer and truck …………………………"I guess they didn't want me."

how does an Old Nana deal with that?

i don't need any comments about this.  really.  but it is about Love and what that means.  to the Old and to the New who are just experiencing it for the first time.

and today when i was digging out a bush, i can't remember it's name at the moment, but a bush that would be in the area of the buck pen and i don't know if it is poisonous to them….i killed a snake.  with the shovel.  not even knowing it was there and why didn't it Run Away, but it didn't and i killed it. 

010
new life in a bigger pen.  where they can RUN. 

Pens.  i am thinking.  about pens.  about How It All Is.    complicated stuff.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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27 responses to “day to day”

  1. KaiteM. Avatar
    KaiteM.

    hi grace, yes i’ve had similar experiences. i’ve killed frogs that i didn’t know were there and felt dreadful about it after, but it was an accident of nature, so it happens. love to you

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  2. nance Avatar
    nance

    oh grace. i feel you. you certainly did have a hard day. and tomorrow will be easier. i picture you asleep now in your fresh tide sheets. hopefully having some not so active dreams. rest. i wish you deep peaceful rest. i’ll send some angels over to watch out for you! xoxo n

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  3. Michelle in NYC Avatar
    Michelle in NYC

    well, this certainly answers the email of concern i just sent about how you are–you are working on behalf of the kids–and I’m hoping someone explained to Julian somehow that he and his mom are wanted by those who truly love them–and that deep in your heart you know that all this complicated stuff is for the best–I’m glad help came, even if it felt like an invasion. Funny how just a few posts ago you were saying how isolated you are. The wise know the territory of love is littered with bushes and snakes, and tired, loving people.

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  4. saskia Avatar
    saskia

    hiya, strength and tenderness unto you, breathing in and out, letting go, know I/we think of you with love

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  5. Valerianna Avatar
    Valerianna

    Witnessing….

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  6. jude Avatar
    jude

    i get it. this day. so many things.

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  7. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    accident of nature………
    love back to you and thank you

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  8. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    angels would be good
    there’s alfalfa in my bed

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  9. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    the territory of love
    like that a lot

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  10. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    i Thank you

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  11. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    yes

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  12. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    into cloth

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  13. KaiteM. Avatar
    KaiteM.

    big kiss and good’night

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  14. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    thank you Kaite

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  15. jude Avatar
    jude

    so i will tell you what i am imagining. a goat party. goats in the center and folks gathered around. in cloth of course.

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  16. Susan C Avatar
    Susan C

    Love to you, grace. Hope today feels a little lighter.

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  17. deb Avatar
    deb

    Isn’t it wonderful how the perspectives of fresh little lives affect our own perspective? Being with babies is like walking in the Spring rain.

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  18. ali Avatar
    ali

    ah, the perpetual problem with so many things, it seems– too much/many in too short a time or too little in too long a time; I have done some inadvertent snake-killing over the years. Why don’t they flee? I like Jude’s idea of a goat party cloth, maybe with lizards, snakes, cacti and lots of scattered stones

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  19. Rene' Avatar
    Rene’

    Ahh. . .so much. Just, “so much.”
    Snakes=transmutation. They have shown up for me at rather important passages throughout my life.
    Glad you are asking for, or allowing, help. I sense that the “help” goes both ways, somehow.
    love. . .and more

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  20. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    a lot of the help is Alz B’s son, Bill. and yesterday
    he and her daughter Carol’s (visiting from Portland Oregon)
    husband who has pretty severe parkinson’s were it.
    Portland Bill was pounding metal posts. no easy task for
    him but he continued.
    so…yes. a lot of things were going all ways yesterday.
    today i hope no one comes. i think i won’t answer the
    phone either. turn off the answering machine. just
    go look around out there. sit on the raft and try to
    figure out how to deal with the snake’s death.

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  21. handstories Avatar
    handstories

    holding on & reaching out & letting go of things—all stretching, not comfortable often. love.

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  22. nance Avatar
    nance

    what you wrote reminds me of the lyrics from the circle game … grace’s life right now seems like that. i can hear her life in buffy st marie’s rough and gravely voice. love you grace…xoxo

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  23. Mo Crow Avatar
    Mo Crow

    Grace … a vision of the snake ouroboros & our (o) boros mending the earth

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  24. Nancy Avatar
    Nancy

    I’m here on the 21st, so I hope you’ve had a better day of it. This post reminds me of this quote:
    “Any change, even a change for the better,
    is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.”
    – Arnold Bennett (Enoch Arnold Bennett)
    You have certainly met Change head on recently. I think you are right to retreat to your raft as needed. Love to you in your same, new, different world.

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  25. dee Avatar
    dee

    sounds tough.. reminds me that I want to read this book called “Quiet” which explores introversion… and makes the point that we as a society make such a fuss over being extroverted, giving it extra credit as if it were inherently better than being introverted.
    I euthanized a chipmunk in front of my sons when they were toddlers… I wonder how they will carry that memory?… me slamming a shovel down hard on this little critter that our cat had only half-killed? … and to be honest, that is not the sort of memory I blanch at looking back…

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  26. Robyn Ayaz Avatar
    Robyn Ayaz

    I am loving this idea!

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  27. Robyn Ayaz Avatar
    Robyn Ayaz

    The raft, still there – good, hold tight and look out over the fence and the mountains and feel calm and quiet. Help goes both ways as does love always. The bush, the snake, the little one – protection and instinct. You are so loved.

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