windthread

recent posts

about

“Unpredictable….with Unknown Outcome” yvette

in a comment the other day, yvette used these perfect words.  i have been since,  holding them up
to the light, as a veil,  over so many things.

But, here, Robyn asked about the milking the other day and this is as good a time as any to say things about that.  Julian arrives tomorrow or Sunday and i don't really know how that will effect things….again, that veil of unpredictable with unknown outcome.  i want to say the things about the milking telling just the facts as much as i can.  let go the narrative, the qualifiers, the adjectives and adverbs and just say the facts.    so, here goes.

i missed the "window" for most of it.  there is a space of time between 2 weeks of the goats nursing their young ones and continuing good milk production.  i was learning to milk during this time.  i was unable to deal with separating the babies from their mothers during the night.  this last week…

woops

i was sliding back into narrative.  No.

so…i could say that i failed.  and it feels some like that.  missed the opportunity, for sure.

but i have, in 3 months completely transformed this acre.  with pens and spaces and fences and worlds.  14 baby goats have been born.  healthy.  beautiful.

i have learned to milk by hand, with the MaggieDan.  i will be ready when we try again. 

What i realized in a very difficult moment last week is that what i most want to do now is learn the ways of these creatures.  i want to create relationships with the 4 doelings we will keep for now.   Understand more about how they experience this world. 

This is enough.

and so…it will be Spring when the window will appear again.  i think i will be more ready then.  but who knows?  things are "unpredictable, with unknown outcome".

These are the goats that have patiently stood on the milkstand.

003
Onday, mother of Mercy

006
Ona, mother of Darth Vader and Inky

017
Lucky Star, mother of Just Going and Los Dados

019
CaroLine, mother of Jude's Magic

022
Ginger, mother of Cinderella and Sunny Ray

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in

19 responses to ““Unpredictable….with Unknown Outcome” yvette”

  1. handstories Avatar
    handstories

    you have done & learned & shared so much! you must be so proud of you and these other mamas.
    well, well done.

    Like

    Reply
  2. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    i just cut the stalks of the Done wildsunflowers and tossed them in to the 3 pens. in an instant, there was no sign of them left. crunch crunch crunch

    Like

    Reply
  3. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    i
    love
    these goats.
    i just need to learn HOW to love them

    Like

    Reply
  4. Doris Avatar
    Doris

    I´m just pondering … isn´t it that it is good to love every creature in an own way … a mixture of how you feel and how the loved one needs it…

    Like

    Reply
  5. saskia Avatar
    saskia

    as the buddhists say: we suffer most from our expectations…so if you can let go of that and live with what you Do have and Can do….ah yes that is surely Something!
    it has helped me in the past whenever I felt I could have done better or thought I needed (to do)something; and of course I still trip over the same ‘should do’s ‘ every so often…
    and to me you most definitely haven’t failed Grace, as I was reminded over at Nancy’s post the other day ‘you can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometime, you might just find you get what you need’ – Rolling Stones –
    perhaps what you need are the goats

    Like

    Reply
  6. jude Avatar
    jude

    i think you are all still just going, with more story behind you and more unfolding before you. You and the goats. Mothers.

    Like

    Reply
  7. elizabeth fortes Avatar
    elizabeth fortes

    Dear Grace!
    I know the intense effort and willingness you’ve dedicated to this learning experiment! Yes, you’ve transformed your “acre”, you’ve created a new space and you’ve transformed some of us too, along the way…. We’ve learned so much and have been so inspired by your discoveries…Your enthusiasm has been unwavering and you’ve had companions- us! – on the road who have learnt other “subject matters” alongside you, the synergy of effort and inspiration carrying us all. You’ve done a great job! I’m presently dealing with the need to justify what I’m afraid I also have not achieved throughout a very hard working summer. My new grounding reflection is on “unreasonable expectations” and now another mind centering “stone” just came to memory: “Who did you think it was that needs to be loved?”
    Let’s carry on! We’re still here! Let’s just go! Much love, e.

    Like

    Reply
  8. yvette Avatar
    yvette

    love you more….
    ( you can ask the goats to speak to you. I’m sure they will. You listen with your hart and one way or another you know they “spoke” with you. Really…listen…)

    Like

    Reply
  9. ali Avatar
    ali

    my dear Grace, I’ve been thinking of you as the goat whisperer for some time now (cliche as that may sound, I’m saying it anyway because it’s true)–your goats are just getting to know you now, too, as you get to know them, and I think you are all very lucky creatures. your presence enriches all whose lives’ you touch

    Like

    Reply
  10. Deb G Avatar
    Deb G

    How wonderful to create a home or share space with others…There is always a period of adjustment with that.

    Like

    Reply
  11. Nancy Avatar
    Nancy

    As a reader here…has it been only 3 months???!!! Amazing really all that has taken place, so much growth, so many happenings…done with she love and heart. In three months time a new family was born. It’s been beautiful. I am honored to have shared this time, these discoveries with you (and all of us).

    Like

    Reply
  12. KaiteM. Avatar
    KaiteM.

    grace you’ve certainly kicked and massaged your comfort zone into a very different shape. well done for learning and doing and growing so much, and i’m sure that by next Spring you will be very relaxed and comfortable in your new zone of Mother of Goats.

    Like

    Reply
  13. Dee Mallon Avatar
    Dee Mallon

    ascribing ‘failure’ to these past three months is the ultimate in narrative. failed at capturing buckets of milk? maybe. you have modeled, and now I speak to cyber-transforming only (not the wire fences, pulled balls, butting heads, milking tools) courageous risk-taking and captivated your readers with a capacity for telling us what is happening for you… this alone would be something, but as I recall, you have also watched your AZ patient/friend decline and hosted numerous guests and done a lot of sewing.
    PS I am surprised that there are windows to milking — I thought it would be like nursemaids (human) – that as long as you got the milk going, you could keep it going.

    Like

    Reply
  14. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    it’s an interesting morning. and your comments fit
    right in and clarify even more…
    yes. a lot. and am having an opportunity to see self
    “work”. and see that if there is no real reason for
    something Not happening, then i assume it Will.
    but having put it all on PAUSE in the last couple days,
    i give myself and everything else a chance for Re~View.
    Where Are We All? and that includes lizards/birds/the
    stray cat under the house at night/the very modest gardens/the very NOT modest new compost endeavor/the
    visits to the Old Folks Home/the Julian coming any minute
    for up to a month/and this morning, looking out at that
    whole new Half Acre that i have decided DOES deserve a
    small inner coyote fence around the dear remaining things
    that have made heroic effort to remain growing…….
    i’m thinking…sometimes just plowing ahead is stupid.
    in an effort toward All, less for Everything comes into
    play. and small things are beginning again to take their place in my mind…like just now, sitting on the toilet,
    i got the thought that the way to make smooth passage
    from the one Yard to the New yard would be to give the
    lead goat a
    bell.
    and this would also necessitate deciding who really IS
    the lead goat…which will take some just very quiet
    sitting and watching.
    AND THEN, Jude’s Diaries has begun and i have a good
    feeling that i am at a Certain Point where i can go forward with some cloth things that have as yet been able to get out of my head.?.
    so..all this.
    the windows are to do with the goat’s natural sense of
    weaning her young. asking her to continue and give ME
    milk is contrary to her sense of purpose with her kids.
    She doesn’t “mind”, but timing is important. and most
    important to that is seperating the kids from their
    mothers at night, milking first thing in the morning.
    I actually was all set last night to take Barbara’s kids
    out and into the little maternity pen. had rearranged
    everything, put in new straw, conjured up a Plan for
    exactly how to do it. but then, when the moment came,
    i couldn’t. i couldn’t go out there in the just new
    dark of the night, where they were all folded into their
    sleeping for the night forms and disrupting everything. it just seemed so uhhhh, invasive, so like i would be violating their space. OH sigh. So, as i learn about them and about my own sense of me/them i will figure out ways peculiar to us. in this case, in the spring, i will have figured out a good way to seperate the kids to a
    kid pen. and the big difference will be that it will be
    probably 3 does bred, 3 does kidding within days of each
    other. instead of 8.

    Like

    Reply
  15. nance Avatar
    nance

    well grace…
    if you failed,
    so what?
    you continue going,
    that is the point.

    Like

    Reply
  16. Michelle in NYC Avatar
    Michelle in NYC

    I can never get enough–your tender thoughts on goat cohabitation–in fact, your tender thought on anything dear Grace–and as for failure, well: Charlie Chaplain said “Failure is unimportant.It takes courage
    to make a fool of yourself.” Courage trumps all!

    Like

    Reply
  17. Robyn Ayaz Avatar
    Robyn Ayaz

    Hi Grace, failure is not in your vocabulary and anyway, when Spring comes, hey ho! I will be away a bit maybe, my nephew has had a serious car accident and is in a coma, only 28 with 2 small children. They have flown him to the hospital in Newcastle where I live and I have visitors (wife, his parents etc etc) and am manning the phones. He is a beautiful wonderful young man and I am hoping he will come out of this somehow. Loveandhugs.

    Like

    Reply
  18. yvette Avatar
    yvette

    are you ok?
    busy ok?

    Like

    Reply
  19. ali Avatar
    ali

    the title really does say it all–I’m thinking of you, Grace, and of your courage and persistence–with those traits, failure seems highly unlikely

    Like

    Reply

Leave a reply to Nancy Cancel reply