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nothing much left of me tonight

i wanted to say more, show more.  but i am depleted in the moment.  except to put this here:

006f
this is one of the last "dolls" i made.  in a certain way, she was Half Hearted.  but when i went up the mountain today to my friend's home,  where this doll resides, and saw her there on the wall, in this very quiet beautiful home,  i was flooded with …..flooded with a very very quiet joy.  Look.  another flag.  another being with a Flag.  just as the being on the Luring of Crows is.  with a Flag.  to be honest,  i'd forgotten.  i'd forgotten this doll.  i'd forgotten that i had given her to my friend.

How could i have forgotten?

but i do.  what is past often times is just Gone to me.  is that a fault?  or a good sign?  i don't know.  but i will put more here tomorrow and for now just let it all go into the night.

 

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45 responses to “nothing much left of me tonight”

  1. deb Avatar
    deb

    How wonderful this is (and I am not a doll person). I think the past slips away from people who are so very vivid in the moment, like you are.

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  2. Michelle in NYC Avatar
    Michelle in NYC

    Yes Grace, the past, memories or, and appreciation for, slip slides away in the rush of all the right now….remembering requires reflective time, and for those with dependent goats, current weather, the need of feed for all, the time between sunrise and set is short, and days flow into weeks, months, seasons, years. One needs prompts to spark the fires of recollection. Your visit, and seeing her isolated in another context than when your hands fashioned her, revered, made special by the friend who put her on that wall…prompted you to see her anew, and to share her with us. She is wonderfully crafted, beautifully expressed, and I adore her floating there, bearing her banner, face upturned like that, hair splayed out like angels wings. She is wondrous, a magnificent thing.
    I’m writing this as you are already dreaming I think. It’s snowing crystal diamonds at 9:30 PM here. I just saw “Lincoln” with a friend, teared up at all the appropriate places, tears of longing really, for the carefully constructed sentiment, for what I wish was true in the ethics of the story, and for all the dead soldiers too.

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  3. handstories Avatar
    handstories

    thinking of your indigo flag on the raft in your yard….

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  4. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    so strange, really. i would have never looked. but the
    friend said…there is the grace wall. and i looked. and
    there she was and under her a print of the first cloth.
    the one that my granddaughter has, the one i made from
    just looking at Jude’s work, trying to know how she does what she does. clumsey in a certain way, because i didn’t have a clue, but also so genuinely Wanting to know.
    it was quite a moment. this week has been quite a week.
    and to tell you…on the way to the woman i was really
    going to see, there
    Los Dados. Inky and Darth Vader. my friend said did i
    want to stop and i was too FULL and said no. next time.
    LOVE,

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  5. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    no…more phone from Alz B’s son. but your words:
    “the time between sunrise and set is short”
    this is Exactly it. short. it flies past…..one
    into the next so fast and so urgent.
    Urgent. for me, for all the dead soldiers. For Us.

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  6. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    Cindy.
    yes…you are right.
    One More Thing i hadn’t connected.
    Flag.
    what does Flag
    mean
    stand
    for
    to me???????
    Flags. Flags.
    ????????????
    maybe some way to touch WIND?

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  7. Valerianna Avatar
    Valerianna

    The indigo flag on the raft came immediately to me, too… I really love this doll, even half-hearted as you say she might have been, she has such a presence.

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  8. Suzanna Avatar
    Suzanna

    Yes, presence is such a good word for her…she is carrying on in the midst of everything. Like you dear Grace. I too forget about the things I make and am surprised by them later…the happiness is in the making and I think the forgetting creates more room for making. Rest well. Breathe.

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  9. Nancy Avatar
    Nancy

    When I first saw her there…quiet with her flag, I too thought of your yard flag and small chair. And I thought “she is a woman of Wind”. Just like that. Those words. I know not if you knew wind as well back when she was created, but, no matter…she struck me as a piece of you in your place now. So, then I think, funny how some parts of us come through, even over the years. It was nice to meet her. Thanks.

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  10. roz Avatar
    roz

    wonderful woman doll.presence yes.i find her posture and her face intriguing.

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  11. Jacky Avatar
    Jacky

    A wonderful memory jolt….and the recurring flags. There must be some meaning there…
    Jacky xox

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  12. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    The old Shakespearean line from The Tempest, “what’s past is prologue” seems to me to be the bridge here between your dolls and your cloths. From the dolls that I have seen and the incredible doll, Little Happiness, that is my grand-children’s guardian spirit, the cloths, the colors, the symbols, in the case of Little Happiness, a tiny bell, all have echoes in your story cloths. Your dolls, at least to me, made a very direct statement. Your cloths are an evolving conversation, a conversation that presents us with your daily life and all that it encompasses.

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  13. patricia Avatar
    patricia

    she’s beautiful–Half Hearted–she is. her hands, her face, her body. amazing the amount of real life energy conveyed here. i don’t know why we forget, or are surprised when we come face to face again with the past. but i do see here the steadfastness of your journey. different medium, perhaps, but still the overarching sincere deeply heartfelt commitment to truth. soul full. i love her and love you for just being. that’s huge.

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  14. Deb G Avatar
    Deb G

    I saw her at first as half realized. At first glance (out of focus) I didn’t see the face but saw a wonderful twist of leaves. Potential.

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  15. saskia Avatar
    saskia

    I like this doll of yours, especially the twisted-ness
    and I so recognize the forgetting part, I forget stuff I’ve done like yesterday, walk into the studio the next day and am surprised! not always in a good way…..
    och, the brain, my mind is a maze
    and yet looking at your images here, my own and on other blogs, you do see recurring themes, I used to think I’d have to work at finding themes, but I think they find us, are already in us
    and once an object has been made, you just continue, in fact i think I’m making one continuous piece, like living one life

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  16. Eva Ucgatwork Avatar
    Eva Ucgatwork

    Grace, I think this doll is amazing. What a gift to your friend!
    Just as Marti wrote, I also see a connection between the doll and some of your textile works. Why did you stop creating sculptures/dolls?
    Have a great weekend,
    eva

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  17. jude Avatar
    jude

    you didn’t forget, it is obvious in everything.

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  18. Mo Crow Avatar
    Mo Crow

    ah that strong windthread Grace!

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  19. Julie Avatar
    Julie

    I have cherished this quote since I was 16 and read Faulkner’s “Light in August” to impress Ricky S:
    Memory believes before knowing remembers.
    Believes longer than recollects, longer than knowing even wonders.

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  20. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    halfhearted because i knew i was working to continue
    doing something that’s time had already come to an end.
    but in the moment yesterday, i really saw her with such
    love.

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  21. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    isn’t it just so interesting???, that forgetting????
    it is greay today and lightly raining and this adds to
    the sense that i may have forgotten way much more than
    i was ever aware.
    i have been like this since i was a child. i remember
    SO much, but all that is like ummm, well, just freeze
    frame moments, a visual image that is representative of
    a span of time and the details of that span of time are
    simply forgotten unless someone else remembers them for
    me.
    ???????

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  22. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    i’m glad you met her too. Wind has always been Present
    to me. the first i can remember this is when i was
    4.

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  23. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    roz, thank you. i was going to say that carving the
    faces was my favorite thing, but really, not…trying
    to find a body form that the face wanted was also
    something i loved.

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  24. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    yes….
    what rises up first is flags and wild grasses are a
    way Wind is visible

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  25. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    yes…Marti….that is an important thing…
    a direct statement or an evolving conversation…this
    is a key, a clue. thank you for this….

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  26. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    it is good to be loved…xoxoxo

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  27. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    Ahhhh. “a wonderful twist of leaves”, now THAT
    would be a Cloth……

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  28. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    THAT! is beautiful….”in fact i think I’m making one
    continuous piece”…oh, i love this thought…….

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  29. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    Eva..why?, well i think there are probably a lot of
    reasons, many of which i have never articulated even in
    myself.
    but for sure, there was beginning to be a real longing
    for “diorama”. they had no “world”. and that’s about
    the time that i began making them with armatures so
    they were seated or standing, kneeling. and i was
    formulating ways to create, well, dioramas for them. but
    then i somehow just never went forward with that other
    than sometimes to make them prayer rugs. and Nance has
    one of the very last ones and was working on a large SUN
    that would have been that one’s Place…but again…
    it was just over. and i really don’t know exactly why.
    and i felt very uhhh, vacant for a long time. A long
    time. until i accidentally stumbled upon Spirit Cloth,
    Jude, and instantly recognized something i didn’t yet
    know.

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  30. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    wonder what will come of it as it Just Goes?

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  31. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    yeah. windthread.

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  32. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    i love this. like a koan

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  33. yvette Avatar
    yvette

    grace
    this is you
    waving flag
    pulled by wind
    leaving behind what has it’s destination
    so you can forget
    expressing yourself in another yet the same grace way
    grrrrrrroetjes
    still without wifi
    butxxxxxxxx

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  34. roz Avatar
    roz

    ha yes , finding HER true realisation. the body for the face.
    what i believe we may be working on for ourselves
    our true realisation and understanding of the world
    this quest made visual in cloth or faces and bodies ?

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  35. roz Avatar
    roz

    plus i am thinking that for me, who also ‘forgets’ what has been made/created , it makes me wonder if those things leave my conscious mind as that question and answer is exhausted for now
    and i move on.
    hmmmm

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  36. Chris Linton Avatar
    Chris Linton

    It’s good to let the past go and sometimes good memories disappear with it but I still like to let it go. Then if I remember something like your doll, it is a pleasant re-surfacing of the past, to enjoy once more and let go again.

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  37. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    YES!, yes! i think this is exactly it. the question and
    the answer, both. Enough. and we move on to the
    Next. oh!, thanks for putting words to this~

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  38. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    i kindof love forgetting, really.
    and so much xoxoxo to You, yvette…………
    tra La…soon enough you will be Home, yes????????

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  39. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    YES, again. this is a continuation of what Roz suggests
    above. it was wonderful to remember yesterday…
    how good that time was. but to let go again equally as
    excellent, to have no tether to those times. yes.
    you are right…Thank You………….xoxoxo

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  40. KAMFreeman Avatar
    KAMFreeman

    Grace, so much movement, floating, wind pushing cloth and flag, and her hair..movement totally in her form..yes there is that flag in the yard, the cloth with again the woman with flag luring the crows…symbolically the story goes on…threads from one piece of the journey flowing on to the next…and in your life you weave the pieces with a spirit of trusting in the outcome being just what it is to be..it is my delight to feel the wind blowing through your work, your hands, and the words you write that blow across my mind and find a place to root around and give me thought.. so much appreciation for you, for wind, for thread and cloth and all things growing and moving and shifting. Kristin

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  41. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    and you remember this all back to Story Circle. it’s been
    a long time.
    Women Who Run With the Wolves…maybe i am reverting a
    little, thinking of laying down the flag for a minute and
    thieving chairs????

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  42. KAMFreeman Avatar
    KAMFreeman

    chairs are wonderful…lifting into a nice truck bed for a little ride…sounds a journey worth the while

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  43. saskia Avatar
    saskia

    rereading my comment (which I’d half forgotten, ha) I am amazed I didn’t notice this before: one continuous piece, of course, it makes so much sense
    and thank you for your thought-provoking posts, they help us on our path!

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  44. Nance Avatar
    Nance

    It is an icon for you, this touching of the wind. A symbol you have imbedded deep within you. Wind thread.

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  45. Robyn Ayaz Avatar
    Robyn Ayaz

    Beautiful doll, with an oldness about her – and something about her was still in your mind it seems. Can’t walk much and pain takes away from concentrating. Hugs

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