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Day 10 and re-evaluating

March 10, 2013

how morning SUN shown down upon the cloth

and when i went out to feed this morning, there upon the bale was the baby dove. i had to get to the feed so moved slowly, explaining what i was doing and he/she fluttered clumsily over to the ladder.

and i was carrying flakes of hay when a dust devil appeared out of nowhere…eyes full of hay and dirt and whatever else and i just rubbed it away am came in to continue stitching. when it came time to go to the dump, i was half way out of the door before i realized i didn't really know if i'd even combed my hair. this was 2:30 in afternoon. and when i looked, i laughed, thinking of Saskia's pics of herself the other day….

and then…here is where we've come to. a LOT of single thread stitching here to there and back. it doesn't seem like much, but it took the whole day.

and when i went out to do the evening feed, little bird had managed to go less than a foot away to the chain saw.

and i'm thinking that this daily reporting is not so great. i'm not exactly sure what would be better, but it is very mundane. and even though we celebrate the sacred in the ordinary, this might be going too far. ????? so am thinking about leaving the minutia to celebrate itself and not keeping this every day thing going. It IS what i watch and Live. but for others, i don't know. kind of Duh.

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34 responses to “Day 10 and re-evaluating”

Valerianna

March 10, 2013

The dove didn’t get too far… but I had a wierd moment when I thought the dove represented Wonder Bird, and then I remembered its a Wonder Fish? Anyway… not so duh, keeps us connected.

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grace Forrest

March 10, 2013

well…WonderBirdFish. WonderFishBird.
no..this is the child of the pair of Doves that nest up
on the metal cross beam in the Shed thing. most of their
eggs crash down and come to nothing. they have two batches a year. i don’t have a lot of good things to say about Mourning Doves. they kind of annoy me. they rattle away outside around the house ALL DAY. pretty much the same 3 syllables and now and then the shrill mock hawk
sound. my grandaughter and i call one of them Rubberfoot.
she/he has these orangepink fake looking feet. they have been here for years. Sigh. and all day, not once did either of them go out to the shed to check on the baby. but…maybe there’s something here to consider. they mated. they made their crummy nest that often falls apart, but this time it didn’t and they hatched a baby. there it is, now almost dark, just out there now in the dirt and weeds, near the Raft. sitting. i don’t know where the parents are. the light has changed enough so they go to whereever they go for the night. maybe up on the metal beam by the nest? but that baby isn’t going
to figure out how to get back to the shed.
The Duh, well, i’m still thinking about it. it IS what it
is. if you bunch things up over a few days, they seem
better. to one’s self and probably to others. but, the
day to day IS the day to day. and really…i guess that was part of the thing i wanted to look at. a Life. that is made up of this minutia with moments of blinding beauty and moments of great sense of Unsure. so…maybe it’s ok.
i don’t know.

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LaceLady

March 10, 2013

not “mundane”, nor “minutia” ~ gloriously, exuberantly, steadily, balancing strength-giving routine and joys with glimpses of genius. All a wordy wordy way to say how much I enjoy it all. Natter away, or not, it is all comfortingly inspirational to me.

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Laura R

March 10, 2013

Yesterday I read your blog from the beginning. I felt as though I’d wandered into a novella. No, not Duh at all. You have an interesting story to tell. Life is life….

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grace Forrest

March 10, 2013

HEY, LaceLady! well well well. who’dve guessed. a
LaceLady out there somewhere!???
Hi. this puts a whole new light on things. you and
Laura R below…who i am reading words from for the first
time in this very moment…
hmmmm……i will think.
I DO know that this life is the only one i have that i
am aware of and that way more than half of it is over. and i think of that as important somehow. if it will seem to be kind of wasted…then i would need to do something different, not being into “killing time”. but if i can look at a year of nattering and deam it to be good and fair living, then….
so…THANK YOU for weighing in on the question. We’ll see.
and TELL, oh TELL…anything at all about how a LaceLady
lives…….
xoxoxoxo

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grace Forrest

March 10, 2013

Laura…you DID???????????????? read it all??????????
JEEZ. and THANK YOU for saying that…a novella. to me
it IS, really. i am kind of amazed by it all and how
it’s seeming to be playing out and how it WILL play out…
again…i have to think…you read it from the beginning???
wow. i have never read it from the beginning. funny, huh.
maybe i will. but no…that would put pressure on me for the minutia of today. am stuck with that word right now.
minutia. kind of a creepy word.
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for commenting. Please
do, again, when it seems right.
xoxoxo to YOU!
AND, maybe what would help me right now would be if you
had any Questions. Questions often break open stuff for
me. now or in the future. Thanks…..

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grace Forrest

March 10, 2013

AND.
this is what i think about.
WHERE
is everybody. to do go to eachother’s blogs when we are BORED?
not good enough.
not reason enough.
not reason to blog.
to relieve boredom when the TV is over. the dinner. the whatever.
IS IT REAL.
this is the question.
WHO is there for the REAL?
cause i have
feelings
about that.
if it is a matter of convenience, then…am not interested.
if it is a matter of real, then ok.

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nance

March 10, 2013

As you know I have not been going to many blogs…. I have been trying to cut back on computer time. Don’t watch tv. And truly I do not get bored. I feel like I have a plethora of things to do… To choose from at any given moment. I come here … Well… Because I’m curious. What are you thinking about now? What do you do while you are living your life that is soooo different than mine? How is it that with our lives so different we still have so much in common? And that I have so much respect for the way you see things. Of course you write in a way that makes me think… I like that too…. Even if I don’t always ” get” everything. Because that is part of it too. If I watch long enough I probably will get it…. And I can always ask if I don’t. Here’s an example. The dove. Never would a dove or anything like it land in my backyard and last all day long. A cat would have come by. And you have a cat… So where was tazmina? … You see I get wrapped up in your life. It’s like we are talking over the back yard fence. Only I could never borrow a cup of sugar. Probably people don’t talk over the backyard fence… That in some ideal story life in my imagination. But it’s like it’s happening here. That’s why if you really want to know…

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Michelle in NYC

March 11, 2013

That back fence thing is why I come here on purpose, even when I’m too tired, and the lengthening accumulation of story–but, Grace, I’ve been doing a similar day to day thing for weeks, and you hardly ever visit there. Maybe my story is just not compelling enough, too measured and thought out. It is what it is. I think you’re awfully hard on the doves, and on yourself often. the questioning and reversals might be soul searching sort of self therapy, but what makes you think you’re “Duh”? This whole circle seems not to think that.

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Michelle in NYC

March 11, 2013

…AND I certainly don’t think DULL when I think of you. I’ve been following you for years, and I value you.

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patricia

March 11, 2013

do what your heart required, dear Grace. but when i read your thoughts on maybe continuing/maybe stopping–my first response was no, no, no–don’t stop. and i’m not bored and i don’t have a television!

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Suzanna

March 11, 2013

I love the way you relate to your reality Grace, it is definitely not boring! Re: doves. I inherited a pair of white doves from my former neighbors…I wanted to have the continuance of the sound in my yard and I couldn’t bear to have someone else have that sound…they laid eggs and hatched babies, but they weren’t good parents and the babies had problems. Now only Molly, the rather dysfunctional mother, is left and she still lays eggs and is upset when they are removed but over time we have become rather friends. There is something symbolic I think about the dove and the chainsaw…

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Mo Crow

March 11, 2013

the sun on the cloth, the power in your eyes, the view of the shed, the tools, the vulnerability of the baby bird, the day to day of the space you look after with such deep magic & strong heart & words that are clear & true & inspire. Today is the dark moon in Pisces with all the swirling of the emotions, dreams, illusions & delusions (speaking for myself here) that it brings…

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saskia

March 11, 2013

we have one pair of turtle doves and a wood pidgeon-couple, returning to our garden each Spring; the wood pidgeons together make a very sloppy nest, egges regularly drop out, it’s a wonder they manage to procreate, I enjoy having them back each year, but agree they make for lousy parents, or so it seems to my eye.
Duh: Grace please keep on going with your daily posts: I love them
and really when you look at what you do write down for us, glorious as well as the mundane stuff, it’s bits and particles you decide to share with us, I love the boring parts of life SO MUCH, I often say kids these days are deprived of true boredom!
btw thank you for this close up of your face, I hope I get wrinkles round my blue eyes, I really do.

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Jan

March 11, 2013

And how wondrous to have doves in your shed! I appreciate they’re not everyone’s favourite bird; but birds are astounding, any bird, every bird. I even love to see the pigeons in towns, where they swarm round in flocks, crapping on everything! Rats with wings my friend calls them. But not me. Personally I love that repetitive calling they make. When I’m seated in my garden, and hear that noise, it’s the sound of the summer.
A couple of summers ago I had a young bird fledging in my garden, and had to keep the cats in. I kept an eye on it, and spotted mum and dad blackbird encouraging it to fly, and get independant. Felt such an honour. And the birdbox was used last year; I’m crossing me fingers it will be ‘home’ again to a pair of blue tits.
I live in a compact suburban estate, with fields around me. Any and all wildlife is welcome to me. Even the foxes; who a couple of weeks ago killed my friends ducks. We were both sad; but that’s the nature of foxes. And I still thrill to their bark, or their scent, or the sight of them.
Jan; in snowy England; taking such pleasure in all your lives at points on the planet I would never know, if it weren’t for meeting you all here in your blogs! X

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nance

March 11, 2013

michelle,
i’m sorry i’m not going to your blog for now. i did everyday and more than that sometimes for quite awhile. i miss it, true. honestly i come to grace’s and thats it… not even jude’s for now. i am hoping in the last part of this year i will be visiting again. i have a few health problems that will be addressed but for now it limits my energy and i have to choose my activities. i know you understand…. just wanted to let you know. eventually you will be my back fence neighbor once again!
nance

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jude

March 11, 2013

it is all part of what it is. is the story worth it? yes. no matter who comes by. been through this so many times. so many times. the truth is only in the minutia. the place keeping.

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grace.porvida@gmail.com

March 11, 2013

oh.
i love the analogy of the backyard fence. i thought
about it all day. am still thinking about it.

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grace.porvida@gmail.com

March 11, 2013

michelle…THANK YOU for being blunt. and yup…you
called my number. i DO come but a lot of times i don’t
leave a comment. Why? not because it’s not compelling,
you know, or, i wish you did know, that i so much like
having you take me around your world…
So i am asking self that question. WHY? don’t i?
Thanks…a whole whole LOT.
love and love,

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grace.porvida@gmail.com

March 11, 2013

what’s the differents between Duh and dull in my mind.
another good question.

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grace.porvida@gmail.com

March 11, 2013

stopping this EVERY DAY thing. not stopping totally.
EVERY DAY is EVERY DAY.

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grace.porvida@gmail.com

March 11, 2013

yes. i know your doves. and when i would read about
them i would wonder why i didn’t love these the same…
and now, Dear Molly, the widow.
LOVE,

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grace.porvida@gmail.com

March 11, 2013

Dark moon in Pices…that made me think maybe i am
in some kind of Saturn Return????? that would be a
good excuse for me. and it was my dear friend
HONEY DOVE who was my astrologer, those years back…
calling me out of the blue and saying…PAY no ATTENTION…
you can’t help it….
Where is she now?

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grace.porvida@gmail.com

March 11, 2013

be patient, dear sister saskia…i can guarantee it…
those wrinkles. if you just go long enough.
and these roughed up blue eyes, all red from the
dust devil….and how my nose really IS growing. noses
grow with age too. right now it is the size of Japan.

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grace.porvida@gmail.com

March 11, 2013

Jan in Snowy England…thank you for these words.
and many birds here, care for their young as you say.
the doves however are so well, dumb. where they put
their nest in there is really now big enough for a dove
next. half the time it falls apart and down. but
they just rebuild. maybe i am thinking all wrong????
maybe they are just incredibly optimistic birds?????

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grace.porvida@gmail.com

March 11, 2013

i really need to think this through.

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Mo Crow

March 11, 2013

ah well you did your Saturn return 7 years ago when you turned 60 … here’s a rave
Old Man Saturn by Steve Jolley (RIP) sent for another friend as she approached 60, its a good one-
“The Saturn return cycle is a marker of the different ages of life. Our first 28 years is living out karma from past lives, and is symbolised by our domination by parental values. We are adjusting to the world (and the world to us!) without necessarily having our own individual frame of reference.
The second cycle, from 29 to around sixty, is our time of life achievement, where, normally, we create the karma for this life. This is when we stand independent and make our own way. It’s a time of action.
The third cycle is one of reflection and dissemination. Our time for action is largely over and we are preparing ourselves for for moving on. This is the “elder” period of our lives, where the wisdom we have accumulated is available to the tribe, where we can pass on the benefits of our successes and our mistakes.
Saturn has the reputation of being a hard planet, a malefic as the old astrologers called it. In large measure this is a reaction of fear. Certainly it represents limitations, obstacles and challenges. But it also represents form and structure, the skeletal framework by which we are able to survive on the material plane. The return period is difficult because it requires us to change structures, to abandon outworn habits and begin a new alignment to the world. Just how difficult this is depends on the individual.
Saturn is also symbolic of age. This is because, in earlier times, many did not even make the first Saturn return, let alone the second. It coincides with the cycles of human achievement, but also of life and death. It is a reminder of our mortality. As we age, we gain experience and, hopefully, the ability to deal with difficulty more easily. It’s for this reason that the second Saturn return is reputed to be “easier”. It’s not the planet’s energy at work here, but our own experience giving us a helping hand.
Similarly, the difficulty or otherwise of a Saturn return depends very much on the chart of the individual, and, probably more on how each of us handles change. Saturn demands acceptance of its conditions and will erode and undermine any structures we have created which do not serve the ultimate purpose of growth and awareness, or which are built on shaky foundations. If we cut corners, it’s a fair bet that when Saturn comes along this is where the problems will lie.
It’s no surprise that your friend felt lonely and depressed at this time. This is Saturn’s form. He is forcing her to evaluate what is really important in her life. This is a time of trial which, when it’s over, will have made her stronger and more self-reliant, ready, in fact, to take on elder status. That’s really something to look forward to. No growth happens without accompanying discomfort…”
the cool thing is you have already done the hard yards, it’s time to enjoy the benefits of being a wise crone my friend!

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Deb G

March 11, 2013

Not boredom. A desire to participate. Curiosity. Searching. As Nance said, talking over the fence…making the world smaller. What I struggle with is that it’s a big, immense world online and I can only deal with so much, at least at this time in my life.

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grace Forrest

March 11, 2013

am going to read through this a few times….
you are really SOMETHING…to put it all here…
BIG love,

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Nancy

March 11, 2013

This is how I feel too Deb. Caring, participation, community, friendship…keeping the immense possible. It can be overwhelming.

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mimmin dove

March 12, 2013

I come here because I feel connected, love to you x

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LaceLady

March 15, 2013

My oldest offspring calls me a nemophilist: “a haunter of the woods – one who loves the forest and its beauty and solitude”. My old run-down tiny farmhouse shelters me with it’s north-east-south windows and doors, and wonder-west-wall at my back, porches for outdoor-ness every day of the year. My kitchen window faces spectacular mountains, my garden and fruit trees,fields that refuse to become a lawn, so wild flowers are rampant.I am 7 minutes from the Pacific Ocean. My old truck is always ready for camping or quick jaunts ~ supplies including but not limited to medicinal libations, knitting, needlework, good book, sketch book (write-in-the-rain), sardines, coffee, my Georgia Steel Toe Boots, leather gloves, Leatherman, old Woolrich wool coat. I do NOT miss my former “flamboyant full-tilt boogie Uppity Woman Never Look Back” self, altho I suspect she is alive and well, cackle-shrieking and dancing somewhere in a secret closet. I am seriously, most exuberantly, delighted, that wrinkles don’t hurt. So, does that tell you how a LaceLady lives?

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grace Forrest

March 15, 2013

a little bit. but i want to know MORE…i would type
that in huge letters and in NEON, the MORE. oh my.
i hope you don’t go away……..

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LaceLady

March 15, 2013

I won’t go away ~ but today is one of those sunny crisp days, so I’m out the door to finish pruning my old pear trees. I’ll be “bock”! and I’m still giggling at the NEON -delicious way to respond (swoop of raggedy hat and a creaky-knee curtsy)! thanks!

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