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31 days Part two

i have kept thinking about beth's comment and my response to that comment.

and i think this is an addition that is necessary.  i will do it at the last day of any month for this year that i've committed to blogging every day.

the thing about how it's not all Beauty Full.   how Beauty rules.  but there's all the other stuff.  but i have understood some about all the Other Stuff.  enough so that Beauty rules.

this last month:

is it Worry?  or Concern?  ok…worry worked into a reasonable and good concern about the Goat hoof thing.  in general and specifically about Gideon.  today, when i was cleaning at my Favorite House, the farrier was there for her horses.  i hit him up again.  i'd tried a couple weeks ago when  he was at the other house i take care of.  he was preoccupied then but today, much more "available".  and i talked to him long about Gideon's feet.  so…this is good.

then there is Ramon.  one of the wierd little chihuahua dogs.  the one that is autistic.  with the thing that i think is/was a cyst at the base of his neck, top of his shoulder that he has had for years and suddenly has become a really gross open sore that he works at day and night.  and i mean day and night.  it's totally creepy.  he is probably 12 years old?  do i take him to the Vet?  he has hardly any teeth left.  he's a wreck, generally.  he seems to be in no pain.  barks and does all his obnoxious behaviors like always, but there is this really gross enlarging THING on him.

and there is my daughter who remains incomunicado. sp. is she ok?  Not?  Here is where i work most with that thing i am trying to understand about how thoughts are really mental constructs that give rise to Feelings.

what else????,  i guess that's it.

but…it's not all just this kind of LaLa Land.  it is a life.  but i am working at it. 

 addendum.  and a couple times…mis understanding here.  blogging.  about what i meant.  and then what someone else meant.  and i am getting better at that too.  and just to say here, that you are going to need to Trust me.  and I am in turn going to need to Trust you.  that we both/ All have our hearts in the right place.  and we can talk it out.  So….that too.

 

 

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25 responses to “31 days Part two”

  1. Cynthia Avatar
    Cynthia

    not quite sunrise here ..i just came in from newspaper gathering and moon gazing…there are big old pin oaks here and once they shed their leaves in the fall they provide heart stopping views of the sky…moon framed unexpectedly …the moon and stars segmented in strange and wonderful ways by tree branches…
    i am missing the old redbud..the last of this winters storms totally did it in..and now there are these new , large spaces of sky where it used to be, where the pine used to be…it is strange to think i will not be here to see how the new exposure to the sun will change the growth in my garden, that i will not be the person replanting…or choosing not to replant..
    last month it would have been quiet, now the birdsong is already there when i open the door…welcome..but filling my thoughts in a certain way because they are full of your comments about the silence of incommunicado….how huge that is…how i have wondered about gideon….i hope the farrier was helpful..
    oh i got a brief , quick note …there are 6 new kids at breezy meadows now, 4 does, 2 bucklings…how joyful that must be..and how hard in the snow…the note was simply brief with exhaustion
    i feel so lucky to have met you here in a year where you have decided to blog everyday… so quickly i have realized….. i anticipate the pictures and the words i will find here..
    ..my thoughts are swirling and muddled..not a good combination at all…i have too many committments and appointments today..they are important..i don’t feel prepeared..no i am not prepared and need to stop writing and go do some work…later in the week will be an easier time/place …so mainly this is just a hello and good morning and realization that saying those simple things to you feel important to me…know that loving thoughts are threading there way from east to west to greet you rise well… xox much

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  2. patricia Avatar
    patricia

    a transitioned friend used to say to me, “ah, life it’s ownself.” i thought i knew what he meant. this posting, i believe, illustrates that to me. the ALL of it. the beauty in ALL of it. la la land. ha. yes but so much more.

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  3. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    Can’t remember who said this but this quote is running through my mind. “We work with the stuff of the soul by means of the things of life.”
    I believe that stories are the lifeblood of generations because they shape our possibilities. For me and and as I see here, stories are the things of life, good and bad, joyful or sorrowful, spectacular and every day, both past and present and they help shape our lives in ways known and unknown, transcending and transforming our world.

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  4. Julie Avatar
    Julie

    You are so right about the idea of wanting to live the life that we see on your blog. Goats, desert landscapes, rusty green chairs. It is such a temptation to alight on those images, forgetting that they are images and not Life. I think that happens in reading a lot of blogs…I just looked at my blog and wished I could live THAT life. Perhaps the creating of the blog is a way of celebrating and finding Ground that the writer needs to stay steady in the stream of all the other stuff. Hurrah, Grace.

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  5. jude Avatar
    jude

    perhaps it is the following, the way we see the bigger picture.

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  6. beth Avatar
    beth

    In a way I guess it depends upon why you are blogging. What you want to put out there and why. And the openness. The trust. What you want to preserve in words and images. What you want to see when you look back. What is important when your mind is quiet. Only you can answer those things.
    …Actually it is like the design wall in a way. Looking, looking, looking at life. Removing what doesn’t fit–adding what does.

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  7. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    “why you are blogging. What you want to put out there and
    why.”
    that is still the question. so, you/i just do it. for me, it’s the only way to learn the answer to the question.

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  8. jude Avatar
    jude

    its a diary really.

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  9. saskia Avatar
    saskia

    hmm why blog?
    I guess I can only answer to that by saying why I come here: because I feel a connection and I do see the non-beauty bits as well, and I love them as much as the beauty bits
    and also by explaining why I blog, it started out as a record of ‘my art-work’ and has evolved into Everything in my life has a place there as long as it’s about me, not the boys, or not too much about them anyway, they have a right to their privacy

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  10. Nance Avatar
    Nance

    A good saying marti. And something I need to be reminded of from time to time. Thanks.

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  11. Nance Avatar
    Nance

    Why blog? Jude is right… It’s a journal. But why share it on a blog? It’s the connection we have to whoever comes by. And it’s a tenuous connection. We don’t know the people who come. Just by their comments and their own blogs. It’s a friendship of sorts but it has limits. When misunderstandings arise, as they are likely to do here in the ether, it’s too easy to just push post… I’ve seen it happen. So trust. We must trust that everyone has the best of intentions. Even though we don’t really know them. We have a sense that we do though but its only on a certain level. Only by their presence on their blog or their comment. So for me… I am not blogging but thinking of doing so again. So these are good questions and thoughts… We have to answer for ourselves. What do I offer and what do I receive and what is reasonable in both instances?

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  12. saskia Avatar
    saskia

    oh and also (paraphrasing myself here)
    dear Grace,
    you can only do what only you can do

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  13. beth Avatar
    beth

    Maybe the why isn’t so important… I just thought if you knew about the why that you would know about whether to include the “not beautiful” or not.
    I’m a sporadic blogger, but for me, it is not so much to share, but to remember or to hold something, a personal bookmark of sorts. I try to keep it upbeat because I don’t really need the blog to examine or revisit the painful bits. I am also ever-aware that it is on the internet and being too open makes me feel too vulnerable. But then… if you weren’t as open as you are–would I feel this connection to you? I don’t know. I’m struggling for words today. And I keep hearing this Edie Brickell song in my head–shove me in the shallow water before I get too deep–don’t let me get too deep–don’t let me get too deep.

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  14. roz Avatar
    roz

    connection. reflection.

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  15. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    Cynthia…thank you for this. thank you a lot.
    and this is good. 4 doelings, 2 bucklings.
    that event last summer here, with the accidental breedings that gave: 10 bucklings and 4 does. eeeeeeeee
    so…am glad. and am deep in admiration for what it takes to do these things in the
    cold.
    in snow.
    deep admiration.
    love to you

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  16. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    but then it circles back to his words…life it’s ownself
    that’s it.

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  17. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    all that and just life.

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  18. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    Julie…YES!…”Celebrating and finding Ground to stay steady”, to just go. yes. and seeing it like this is
    very good for that. and knowing that each day you are holding yourself to tell that particular day is really a good thing.
    today, i could have felt like was just lost. it sort of
    was, but not really. it was/is a transition day into tomorrow.
    THANK YOU FOR THESE WORDS…and i WOULD wish for a stone wall like yours…
    Hurrah to you and all of it

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  19. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    the Whole picture?????

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  20. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    i will include the Not at the end of each month this way.
    it’s enough. it marks the Not as being here too. and
    i want to do that. it’s only honest.

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  21. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    diary

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  22. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    similar…and
    really, it’s only one’s own self that can be here.
    others in our lives have their own stories, their own
    interpretations even of shared lives. those stories belong to them.
    we can only tell our own.

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  23. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    “what do i offer and what do i receive”
    these are good words.
    part of what i receive is that connections with the
    beloved who comment give me a sense of community. of
    being part of a larger whole. i could get that tho
    really, just from Spirit Cloth.
    so..why here.
    an immediate and for sure, is that i love the objectivity of looking at the pics when i post them. how they appear with typepad. i have some distance from MySelf, from my
    Stuff. i can stand away. i can stand away with all who come here and look. and wonder. this i think, really
    is worth it in itself.
    and also, i can’t bullshit myself. if i type stuff in
    here, it needs to be true. i think in the past i have
    looked less hard, worked less hard. i like it that i feel like i need to Stand and Face and be held accountable.
    that’s interesting. does the blogging help me be accountable?…hmmmm.

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  24. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    both

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  25. Nance Avatar
    Nance

    Very good response. Helps me too in my decision. The stand and face is imperative. And yes, we do feel seen when we get comments and we do become part of a community.

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