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110 and now begins my litmus test

O K

we are all PRESENT.  Caroline:  1 doeling l buckling.  born in the Guinea hen Palace around 6 pm.  easy birthing, strong and precocious kids….like their elder sister, Jude's Magic from last go round.  moved to the other side of the Albatros.

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bad pic, but REALLY BEAUTY FULL little buck.  REALLY REALLY FINE.

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the doeling.

Caroline cleans.  she cleans and cleans and cleans her babies.  they are spotless.  it's almost exhausting to watch.  she cleans them.  she consumes every speck of birth substance.  All the placenta, all the umbilicals, all the All.  CONSUMED.

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this is Caroline's Cleaning.  hours.  she cleaned without resting a second.

 

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this is at the Gate to the House Yard.  where Ramon is now.  we gave him the new copper livestock tank float that looks like a world.  it's copper.  and we hung it on Stars and Birds.  We were going to find and put certain rocks.  tomorrow.  it's his favorite place.  in the middle of everything, so he wouldn't miss anything.  nothing at all.  ok.  and my litmus test.  a little while, the kids will drink the milk.  then, at a point, i will need to seperate them and milk their mothers.  make that cheese and maybe soap.  some will need to be sold.  this is where it all becomes very Real.  we will see if i am up to it and how much i might be up to it.  do i have the temperment?  we'll find out.

 

 

 

 

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33 responses to “110 and now begins my litmus test”

  1. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    good Luck, grace. you are going to need it.
    love, yourSelf

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  2. Minka Avatar
    Minka

    I love the markings on the doeling.
    That’s a lot of cleaning!

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  3. Valerianna Avatar
    Valerianna

    Well… so much life and death, and, well, that is life. Curious to see how it all goes- how the “stamina” goes. Good luck. Cheese sounds good right about now!

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  4. linda Avatar
    linda

    a new profession..
    cheese maker and soap maker.
    i will place my order for soap right now. cheese might be harder.
    it probably is easier than cleaning for others and running their errands.
    it will be at home and you can go at your own pace.
    i wish you luck too..
    and love

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  5. grace Avatar
    grace

    oh Minka…Hey! someone is UP! yes. she is something,
    this little one that is not so little.
    i sit with them, holding them, learning them my smell. i give them my voice to mingle with the beautiful sounds their mothers make to imprint them so they can make a good Way in this world. she’s a very good. strong. doeling. like
    Jude’s Magic who will spend the night and the next few
    nights in the darkness. i can imagine them out there, tho it is all quiet, but all the rest of them, Wondering. why.
    why they are shut from the Albatros…a lot of Wondering going on.

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  6. grace Avatar
    grace

    V…yes. the Stamina. i really don’t know. this is so much more than i might have ever imagined. and WHAT IS IT FOR?
    i think. i don’t know. but it COMES along and they, these
    GOATS are so beyond elegant.
    how to honor that?

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  7. grace Avatar
    grace

    yes, well, i’ll have to do it all.
    but the Goats.
    the Goats
    how they
    are
    how Caroline made her small but right dish in the dust
    in the Guinnea hen palace and how i watched her do that,
    and knew. and how i listened for her SOUNDING of her
    birthing, and when i got out there, the first, was most
    out…one more contraction….
    and i came back in in a while and looked at the altar cloth. with it’s life colors.
    you know…?????????????????????
    it’s all a part of its self
    i receive your wish and
    i hope i am up to whatever needs to uhhhh, manifest.

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  8. Nance Avatar
    Nance

    We all need to love ourselves… This is a good reminder. And yes if it is meant to be, it will. I am betting you are up to it. You will see that you CAN do it and then it will be a choice… If you WANT to do it. Your new babies are beautiful. And their mamas so diligent. What a world!!!

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  9. Nance Avatar
    Nance

    And thank you for showing little ramone’s resting place…. Where he will continue to observe and not miss anything.

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  10. Mo Crow Avatar
    Mo Crow

    ah Grace you are doing it all so beautifully, this recording of the days beingness the just goingness of your “one wild & precious life”…
    The Summer Day
    Mary Oliver
    Who made the world?

    Who made the swan, and the black bear?
    
Who made the grasshopper?

    This grasshopper,
    I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,

    the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,

    who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-

    who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
    
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.

    Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.

    I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.

    I do know how to pay attention,
    how to fall down
into the grass,
    how to kneel down in the grass,

    how to be idle and blessed,
    how to stroll through the fields,
    
which is what I have been doing all day.

    Tell me, what else should I have done?

    Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?

    Tell me, what is it you plan to do

    with your one wild and precious life?

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  11. Mo Crow Avatar
    Mo Crow

    ah Grace you are doing it all so beautifully, this recording of the days beingness the just goingness of your “one wild & precious life”…
    The Summer Day
    Mary Oliver
    Who made the world?

    Who made the swan, and the black bear?
    
Who made the grasshopper?

    This grasshopper,
    I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,

    the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,

    who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-

    who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
    
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.

    Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.

    I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.

    I do know how to pay attention,
    how to fall down
into the grass,
    how to kneel down in the grass,

    how to be idle and blessed,
    how to stroll through the fields,
    
which is what I have been doing all day.

    Tell me, what else should I have done?

    Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?

    Tell me, what is it you plan to do

    with your one wild and precious life?

    Like

    Reply
  12. Michelle in NYC Avatar
    Michelle in NYC

    Oh this is a favorite Mary Oliver. Love seeing it here with Grace and those ‘wild and precious’ goats.

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  13. Michelle in NYC Avatar
    Michelle in NYC

    and once again for emphasis.

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  14. Michelle in NYC Avatar
    Michelle in NYC

    Grace your words are so experiential. may your superior stamina lead you through these amazing days and nights with the animals of your flock. May there be cloth time too. May you always have whatever you need. SO much REAL is SO satisfying at the most basic level, I’m lifted by the sight of it.

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  15. roz Avatar
    roz

    is there something better than new life? ..of anything
    plant, animal, day , idea , love …. ?
    nup
    mmmmm, maybe really old life , worn , thread bare , much loved ?

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  16. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    I am moved by the cycle presented here: of death and life, in words and photo and above all, in the way in which the spirit of just going maintains it all. Are you up for it? Does your stamina stretch? Is there enough time in the day for goats, plants, cloth…yes, yes and yes, even if that last one might only be a touch to the cloth, or one single stitch…For above all else, you are a woman who lives her life with what matters most and what matters most is the presence of yourself each day, doing the necessary each day, illuminating and sharing the days that make up your cycle on this planet; a truly planetary woman. To Ramon, to Lucky Star, to Caroline, to the doelings and bucklings, to you, deepest love and honor for the way that you not only live your life but the way your generous heart expands to include all of us who come here, into this rich place you call home.

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  17. patricia Avatar
    patricia

    just re-read this post. initially i thought you were going to begin milking today. now i see you qualified that–“a little while”–yes, a little while will fly by–a few weeks?–and then another chapter. this is reading like some thing straight out of Willa Cather. loving it so much.

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  18. LaceLady Avatar
    LaceLady

    Grace’s Self: you have the goodLuck within and without, and the temperment. You have the love of place, of creatures, of beauty. You have stamina!
    Haven’t milked goats, but a.lot.of.Tillamook.cows! dairy farm cheese and soap makin’ in the “last century”… I’ll take a look in my storage locker to see if I still have a couple of cheese molds, and if I DO, will send them your way.

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  19. Saskia Van Herwaarden Avatar
    Saskia Van Herwaarden

    good luck, I have faith in you and your stamina

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  20. kat Avatar
    kat

    Love the little babies! They are gorgeous. And yes, you will need your inner self to offer strength and support for what is to come. I think you need not worry if you have it. From what I’ve gleaned in the short time since I discovered you, you have all you need and more. Plus the support of this wonderful little community you’ve made. It may be tough, at times, however, you will perservere and come out the other side even stronger, I know it!

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  21. grace Avatar
    grace

    it’s going to be interesting…

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  22. grace Avatar
    grace

    yes…on duty. as ever….

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  23. grace Avatar
    grace

    i wish Mary could be here sometimes

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  24. grace Avatar
    grace

    Cloth Time, Cloth Time, Cloth Time

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  25. grace Avatar
    grace

    oh, hey Roz….

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  26. grace Avatar
    grace

    oh, Marti….

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  27. grace Avatar
    grace

    no…not till they are closer to weaning. more about
    this soon. maybe i’ll change my name to Willa

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  28. grace Avatar
    grace

    Hey, LL!….that might be great, the molds, but wait a
    bit…xoxo

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  29. grace Avatar
    grace

    i like that you have faith

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  30. grace Avatar
    grace

    it’s the Community that holds me up in so many ways, yes.

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  31. Dee Avatar
    Dee

    that is one of MY favorite Oliver’s too!

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  32. Dee Avatar
    Dee

    you are one amazing broad, Grace!
    what I love MOST about this post (even beyond the most adorable goat shots)? – is your comment to yourself!!!

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  33. Laura R Avatar
    Laura R

    Yes, thank you.

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