Today was like when we are in Transition, in our own LABOR of childbirth.  during that part of it all, we are Sure that we would Never want to do this again.  (but that often changes).

Today was like that.  during the whole day, the undercurrent was…Only this One Time.  I Will Never Do This Again.  and really, i might not.  but then, you never know.   i had wanted to take a bunch of pics…but being Present for Them and for me and for the merging of Both, taking photographs seemed uhhhh,  frivolous.  it was Not a frivolous day.

First,  after securing all weak spots,  i moved the Herd to the Way Back.  i forgot one thing…to cover the baled feed with the tarp….so at the first moment of this, it seemed like Havock….They, having No Clue of what i had in mind, began milling.  Fortunately, Ginger listened to the furtive Come Come and came.  then dear old bitchy Snowbunny, the Matriarch and she has a collar and i hooked on to that, shaking my bucket of pellets and by some Miracle,  they Came.  and that part was done.  They ran, they startled, they climbed the new Stump.  they inspected the new Shelter.

and after a point, they were ready to go

home.

not knowing that home had changed.  that they ARE home.  now.  in the Way back.

and then, right after getting them there, i unhooked the gate of the Albatros to the World and hooked the two inside gates together for Passage

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put a cement block.  now, all kids could mingle.  Lucky Star came through to the Out Side.

and then, from there, the Hard Part.  I am Not a Goat.  I don't have the genetics that inform me about survival.  Caroline, Sweet Caroline,  needed to dominate.  In thinking about it now, there is some understanding.  it's all, still, about one's offspring.  Lucky Star makes 4.  Her stakes are High.  Caroline has  just 2 but in her sense of it, the stakes are equally high.  they Worked at it.  They rose up and came down, head to head.  Over and over.  BAM  BAM.  slo mo.  they MET.  head to head and both were bleeding. all the while, the babies were all in the close side of the Albatros.  Venturing out and returning.  and i watched.  not knowing.  interfere means interfere.

i looked to the Cloth.  ?????

maybe, probably, eventually, they would have worked something out.  but

i interfered.

i gathered up Lucky Star's babies and took them across the DMZ to the Guinnea Hen Palace.

so…now.  Some re evaluation on Their Part,  Lucky Star and Caroline…and it quieted.  babies on both sides making forays into the DMZ.  some Auntie head butting, some Auntie ear nipping, but, Quieting.
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 and in the Way Back, i hauled a bale of bedding straw .  spread it.  maybe they will get the Drift.  but at last look, in deep twilight, they were standing.  Standing in a cohesive Herd, at the gate.

ready to go Home.  and Home won't happen.

What will they DO?, tonight???????

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28 responses to “115”

  1. Nancy Avatar

    Oh my, Grace. Indeed. What did they do?

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  2. nance Avatar

    oh my! there is the goat woman spirit with her concerned observing look. and i looked at this in the enlarged version and had not seen the other face in the back ground…looking over her shoulder.. watching. being present. and there you are too… the same. watching and being present. this is good. thank you for telling of your hard day and the goats hard day.
    i love the little baby climbing… exploring… and all of them standing and facing.

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  3. patricia Avatar

    i don’t know what they will do. i can imagine a few scenarios but i’m really trying to avoid projecting–projections. they–projection road trips tend to be dangerous diversion for me. ones that carry me away from where i need to stay. so i will wait and listen for your voice–to learn what it is they actually did. realizing that right now as i sit here in another time zone, they’ve already done what they were going to do. and it feels as if all is well.
    this is no small task you’ve taken on for yourself. for the goats. this is all so HUGE. staying one step ahead of goat requires a BIG capacity. it is hot. this is hard work. right at that one moment–on the edge of the unknown of whether or not they would listen to the “come,come”– that place seems so important. that gap. that moment. where you were in that moment. such a telling point. oh Grace–so much love to you.

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  4. Cynthia Avatar
    Cynthia

    i feel as patricia does…my mind can imagine several possibilities…these hours will seem long…it is dark and too early where you are…so a time of waiting here and wishing and hoping that all is welll
    i feel like an echo here..because i want to write about how HUGE this is and there are the words so well said above mine….and so simply know how much thought and love is being directed from east to west
    i could look at that face forever. …may you have had a night of true rest and a good day ahead..xox much cynthia

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  5. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    A hard day yesterday, the day of the great migration but the one thing to take with you from it is that you may not be goat but you trusted your instincts and you did so for the good of the whole and Caroline and Lucky Star quieted…as for the rest of the chattering herd, well, I imagine that they did as well at some point in the night but I will wait until you tell the rest of the story.

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  6. Dee Avatar

    the cloth woman is cross-eyed?! I had not noticed before… or is this an addition after what sounds like a very intense day?

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  7. grace Avatar
    grace

    well…no, not really. it’s how it goes on some of these faces,
    the iris being just light…kind of, uhhhh, well,
    how you see it here.
    and
    i’m trying to see it as cross eyed and only can with a quick
    glance. but when i look directly into her face, it’s back to
    the way i see. whatever, however, the eyes have always been this
    way.

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  8. grace Avatar
    grace

    the GREATEST thing about Goats is that when it gets dark,
    no matter what, they lay down and go to sleep.
    and they did.
    we’ll see this morning…..it’s just getting Light…

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  9. grace Avatar
    grace

    am thinking about what it means…a hard day.
    why i label it as such.

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  10. grace Avatar
    grace

    yes…that Come Come. and all it takes is ONE SINGLE
    one to come…how then they ALL come, rushing along…
    they are constantly amazing in their complete Goatness.
    my guess is that when Light comes, they will be ready
    to start a new day. i wake this morning wondering if
    i did the right thing. wondering a lot and watching
    myself wondering….wondering if i can learn to let
    go of this kind of wondering.
    love,

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  11. grace Avatar
    grace

    yes…i can feel that East to West that humming vibration

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  12. grace Avatar
    grace

    have to wait till it’s Light for the rest to transpire

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  13. yvette Avatar

    Grace!
    you!

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  14. grace Avatar
    grace

    ee me

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  15. Nance Avatar
    Nance

    I know absolutely nothing about goats except for what you say here grace. So I don’t know that this is hard … It seems like it all happened as it was supposed to though. That you had the right intuition to know what to do. That is what we all want to do… Have the right intuition to guide us. xo

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  16. beth Avatar

    Hoping that all is well this new day. It IS so hard. Instinct. Herd mentality. Human interference–yes or no. But human interference is already very much there with pens, shelter, food.
    And I hadn’t seen the second face before either! Oh! A whispering ancestor?

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  17. KAMFreeman Avatar

    Trusting, feeling the sensations of what to do as they speak to you from within and from without..it is always an amazing story for me to read, take in, learn from – this story of goat..how a goat is, what they do and where they desire to be, to move to…so much knowledge essential to the keeping of the peace….and it does feel to me as though you are willing to trust the story of “need to” as you experience each opportunity for change, movement, food, place….that listening, feeling, bending and just being are threads woven through the story over and over..thank you for teaching me some great lessons from your journey…for I see much of what is all around and about to be little different from the goats…the determined, self sure, often aggressive populace…value in just being….following the breath of wind bringing the information to us…and being willing and having the stamina to stay the course..So much coming from this journey is in the stitches and images of the cloth you make. xxx

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  18. Mo Crow Avatar

    I have that old Beatles song going through my head so am asking your nanny goats to listen up –
    “Life is very short, and there’s no time
    For fussing and fighting, my friend
    I have always thought that it’s a crime,
    So I will ask you once again
    Try to see it my way,
    Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong
    While you see it your way
    There’s a chance that we may fall apart before too long
    We can work it out,
    We can work it out”
    ((((Graciousness))))

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  19. Valerianna Avatar

    my my… such drama! but what a cute little bunch of goats climbing on stones!

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  20. Dee Avatar

    ah, now I see her as you see her. Once the lighter irises are identified the cross-eyes go away completely!!

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  21. Laura R Avatar
    Laura R

    You are such an incredible woman; that you have the energy to deal with hormonal goats and their kids, and then to focus on a cloth…

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  22. Minka Avatar

    I keep coming back to that sweet little one and the cider block. Some day a cinder block will be his/her stepping stone but for nowits a mountain and this little one is so tender….

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  23. grace Avatar
    grace

    beth…yes. interference very much so and hence the
    Gigunda dilemma. just Keeping them is interference

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  24. grace Avatar
    grace

    Kristen..it’s trying to understand how to be
    in RESPONSE…v.s. reaction.
    the RESPONSE

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  25. grace Avatar
    grace

    they don’t listen to the Beatles. they listen to their
    own music, i think
    and really, tho, it is THEIR WAY of working it out

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  26. grace Avatar
    grace

    it’s because of love

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  27. grace Avatar
    grace

    the difference today, 5 days later, is absolutely NO
    HESITATION. FAST!, sure footed. SURE. totally SURE.

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  28. KAMFreeman Avatar

    Yes Grace….the RESPONSE…yes I see, I feel I understand.. all so different from react…thank you for sharing this lesson…fits right in my journey! RESPONSE…to respond is my desire

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