I DID IT last night. moved the 3 babies into the separated pen in the Albatros. there was some immediate commotion of mothers wondering and babies Wondering Hard, but amazingly, the night was quiet. This morning, as Sun rose, they began not knowing what to do. 6:45 i went out, close to totally prepared, and milked. Neither Caroline or Lucky Star have been milked before. so they had No Idea. Caroline was first, because she likes being First. and she was the most difficult…had no clue again, Why i might be fiddling with her teats and kept trying to kick me away from them. and Since the new milking stand that i had bought from the guy who makes them in December is wide and long, it occurred to me to get up On it…straddle her…facing backwards…and milk from this vantage point. for some reason, she liked the feel of my legs against her, my thighs, and calmed some. So, i repeated the same with Lucky Star who was less startled to be milked but again, liked the contact. and i remember daughter Jenny saying how everything takes 3 days with Goats. once you do it, whatever it is, 3 days, then it's a done deal. so for the moment, i'll continue my odd milking maneuver. after the 3rd day, they should just be done with any Wonder and Worry and we can become a little more leisurely.
and then, in the Google News, i found an article on Alzheimer's. probably many of us saw it and i went back on the Blog of David Hilfiker, a physician who has early Alzheimer's, the name of the blog
Watching the Lights Go Out if you google that, it's right there………..
he began blogging his "loss" in 2012. i went back to the beginning and read. it is Extraordinary. and whether or not we have anyone in our lives now with dementia, chances are we will and chances are GOOD that it will be US. Reading back from the beginning, what has constantly stood out to me is variations on the theme of this:
9~21~2012 "it is not I that will gradually deteriorate, but only my current experience of myself. And as i worsen, my demented sense of self will not be "I" either. It will be only my current (current in italics ) experience of myself. "
9~29~2012 "The present moment in this disease isn't actually difficult…"
and as the blog goes along, these thoughts above are stated and restated in various ways. and really, isn't it just the way it IS. that it is the Future that causes angst…that almost always, the Present moment is , well, just the Present moment.
and lots of invisible baste…just to hold things in place while i LOOK. again, nothing yet is definite.
and i DO like this face. and i like that i can give her grey hair. i have hair like my dad's. my mother called it dish water blonde. it has grey in it, but for the most part is just a kind of light brown. but i am at the time of my life when grey means something. so, this face, that is in the direction i have been wanting to go, this face can have grey hair. i like this a lot.
windthread 
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