while the cheese finished draining, i went to visit Alz. B. today she was counting. lots of numbers in the monologue.
from a gallon of milk. next time i am NOT going to pasturize it. see what the difference is in taste.
and then i loaded some Goat pellet feed bags with compost. i didn't take a pic of that. should have. and my NEW shovel, the old one still being lost. and i loaded them into the car for the trip to Marti's house tomorrow. a virgin voyage. the compost is a gift for her husband. i have known Marti for years now, beginning Online. tomorrow i will go to her home. i will see, face to face, all the things that i have seen in emails over the years. her table. her altar. and now, her cloth work. her husband will show me all their garden things….not in pics in email, but in person…me and their plant people, face to face. and then, i know they will feed me. we will sit at her table and "break bread". i am a little uhhhh, well, amazed by this.
i'll take them some of my tomatillos.
and i'll take her some of the Locust pods, Doris's snake tree pods, that gave this color in a copper pot.
and THEN. this, from the computer screen, from facebook. Look who's Here!
they chickened out. no Alluvial Fan for a middle name. but i will make her a cloth. i will make her a cloth with an alluvial fan, with her on it. them too. it can tell her the story that the thing of the planet that her parents love most, alluvial fans, they would have given her for a name, but they worried it might be too much so they didn't. but in our Hearts, we will always know it is hers.
and Saskia….look. this is what i mean. by things i see in my life as i live it. this time even stronger. when Julian was born it was Strong. and now with her, stronger yet. if you look at the face. this is not something from nothing going into nothing in the end. this is Something. singular. purposeful.
we used to have a furnace vents on the floor in that house. the kids, well, and me too, would stand over it on cold mornings and let the heat billow up and warm us. when he was maybe 3, 3 and a half, one morning, as the heat rose and fluttered his willy, he went on and on that morning while i was doing things in the kitchen. he went on and on about HIS baby. about the baby he would have. and i was listening with one ear until i realized he was talking about when he Gave Birth. i went from the kitchen to the dining room where he was and said "Jonathan….you can't give birth to a baby. you can't have a baby born from your body" and i remember like it is NOW, the look on his face, he was stricken.
and we had the talk. i told him that he would need to find a wife. and give her the seed. and she could "born" a baby. how his dad had given me the seed for him and this way he came. he was bereft. for days. and then there was the Mr. Rogers show where he sang the song, Everybody's Fancy.
Everybody's fancy, Everybody's fine, your body's fancy and so
is
mine.
and so we sang that until his grief let up. a long time.
and now….here he is. and he has his baby. Heather gave it to him. They will have a Life. the 3 of them.
windthread 
Leave a reply to Mo Crow Cancel reply