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282 How ~Everything~ in my life….pulses …..along a single Thread. seeing that.

somewhere in some comment, here or over in Jude Hill's What If Diaries,  i said something about a line in a book that i couldn't remember….only a few words…"lost like the stars are"…..such a small book,  maybe like 4×5 inches or something.  and i have been stuck since saying that, trying to remember but i couldn't.   and Jude is making stars as a goodbye to the World as We Know It in the moment and i don't want to make a star.

 

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but, and ok,  here is my star.  it's gauze.  i don't know if it will become "prettier" or not.  maybe not.  but i made one. and ok.  but i was still going crazy for the name of that book, for that memory from back in my other life  when everything just went along without Thought…when Just Going wasn't even something that needed those words, Just Going, it was something that just ….Went.  Without much notice even.   but i am seeing Today that there is that pulsing thread…going Back, Touching Here, Now.  and i called my old bookstore partner Jim and with a pile of unconnected words told him….and he said  Cooper Edens.  and YES.  it's Cooper Edens!!!!!!!!!!  YES!!! OH!

it's Cooper Edens book,  "If You're  Afraid of the Dark, Remember the Night Rainbow" published by the oh so elegant and loving Green Tiger Press.   and in my search,  i find in Wikipedia this quote of Cooper Edens.  "  if you don't like the way the world looks straight ahead, use your peripheral vision." 

it has been quite a day.  WIND has pushed and pulled us.  the Sky was graphite gray and cold.  only two small moments SUN broke through.

 

 

 

 

 

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31 responses to “282 How ~Everything~ in my life….pulses …..along a single Thread. seeing that.”

  1. Michelle in NYC Avatar
    Michelle in NYC

    YES…use your peripheral vision! Of course!
    But your star is the most beautiful star EVER!
    Graphite is the color or a huge blanket scarf I found in the street tonight wheeling my shopping cart home from Trader Joe where I spent hours pulling supplies off the shelves to restock the bare larder, and chatting amiably with strangers, passing the tree sellers down from Canada and the nifty ‘girlie-girl’ young women with their I phones, their ‘Forever Twenty One’, ‘Victoria’s Secret’ and designer shop packages teetering on high heeled boots under skin tight jeans, and the hidden homeless in receded doorways, and young guys talking sports and other scores, and just a few elders shuffling along on canes or pushing those chairs ahead of them, along rows and rows of tiny white lights made in China and up three flights to home. It’s a fine piece of wool, and it’s soaking in washing soda in the tub now. That’s what is meant by the phrase: ‘The streets are lined with gold.”

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  2. grace Avatar
    grace

    YOU SCOREd! i want to know. i want to see it on your blog, that Golden not really blanket scarf found on such a
    beautiful night of “Hard to Know” stuff that asks for
    Peripheral Vision. isn’t it a wonder FULL concept…the
    need for Peripheral Vision when the straight on seems
    to smack us in the face with a brick….

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  3. dedri Avatar
    dedri

    Thanks for this remembering! My favorite Cooper Edens book is With Secret Friends. Lovely pastels and great words underneath like a koan in poem form. I first found his books 25 years ago in Santa Fe. Your star is quite wonderful.

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  4. grace Avatar
    grace

    dedri…it’s just so amazing, like so stunning. How it
    RETURNS to stand smack in front of your face. …this
    book, why i loved it then, why i remember it so many
    years later… and how it still Stands True.
    years. i think. years.
    What Are Years??????

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  5. ² Avatar
    ²

    what a wonderfull time we life on embraced by small understandings of people walking on the same road at there own time ,wearing the scarf of peripheral vision mase by stardust

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  6. ² Avatar
    ²

    oeps…..sorry …. MADE by dust of the stars

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  7. dee Avatar
    dee

    I love that book and have a copy somewhere who knows where… I like the giving-over to the star even when it wasn’t what you wanted to do. It makes it sweeter or stronger or something.

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  8. Mo Crow Avatar
    Mo Crow

    oh goodie an author I’ve never heard of
    love to your star & this thread!

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  9. Michelle in NYC Avatar
    Michelle in NYC

    Yes, and it turns out it’s combed cotton (even better….drying slowly now, and I will figure a way to get it in a future blog. Today’s offering is a vigil, and farewell, and a delightful song from one of my favorite movies. Tomorrow is soon enough. Light has barely peeked out here at almost 6AM and the street lamps still blazing in my ‘city that never sleeps’

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  10. Eva Ucgatwork Avatar
    Eva Ucgatwork

    Hi Grace,
    I thought of using this particular fabric too, because it’s a favourite material of mine.You can do amazing things with it…stitching, making lace…
    great!

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  11. jude Avatar
    jude

    your star has a moment of going in it and then a lot of staying and lightness. i don’t read much, you know that, but maybe soon.

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  12. saskia Avatar
    saskia

    your rough star, I like
    and about the peripheral vision, of phrasing it as such, isn’t that what one does most of the time, I mean I seem to because I don’t really have a clue what lies straight ahead, so I don’t know What to look at…..just muddling along basically

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  13. Patricia Avatar
    Patricia

    this star is oh, so just right. just as it is. and i’m spinning around feeling very shocked because i thought diaries was continuing, and now, i read here it seems that no, but then again, maybe…..and underneath the shock is an understanding of displacement–just an ever so dim understanding but still. and i too appreciate this reference to Cooper Edens–someone i’ve also never read. but will find. and so. and so i’m mulling over what my 3 wishes will be.
    but as i write “3” i think, why limit to 3? if there are only 3, then it seems rather, no VERY, selfish to reserve one for myself. because there are so many things i would wish for. and then i remember my commitment to accepting what is. and that will be my ongoing vision–to not rail so much against–to drop resistance as much as possible–and simply love what is–the joy AND the sadness. oh my. a big order for sure.

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  14. Patricia Avatar
    Patricia

    oh Michelle. what you write here is so absolutely beautiful. so much like a painting or a picture–or a rilke poem. it’s lovely and i thank you for this glimpse into your life.

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  15. Sharon Tomlinson Avatar
    Sharon Tomlinson

    A trip to the grocery store so beautifully written! Thanks

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  16. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    A star gives light, and perhaps a direction in its shine for a way to go. Your simple star grace, made of spun, webbed cloth, well it goes right to my soul spot. It holds, the webbing of it, contains all that I would wish because I simply wish for a daily joy, nothing more, nothing less and because I do, I find it even if it is mingled at times with loss and sadness. It is in accepting whatever the day brings, that I find my daily gratitude…and I think I need another cup of coffee because I’m cold, it is gloomy outside and I’m feeling just a little loopy. I need to draw strength and warmth and bolster myself to face the elements tonight as I so want to go to the Luminaria festival among the ruins at Coronado historic site. It’s going to take a star shining on my courage nerve to brace up for the elements, I hope I’m worthy of the attempt…

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  17. beth Avatar
    beth

    I had to look up Cooper Edens… I do vaguely remember this book from my library years. But much to my delight I see that he wrote a second book called: If You’re Afraid of the Dark Add One More Star to the Night.
    How could that be more perfect? My mouth hangs open in the wonder of it.

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  18. Michelle in NYC Avatar
    Michelle in NYC

    Cooper Edens…now, I have to find that book. Oh Grace,we are all a bit in the dark about if Jude will continue to let us ride along the “mother’ship’ wherever it roams. I sense the change will be not without her presence in some way. How attached I’ve become.

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  19. grace Avatar
    grace

    and now it’s 6PM and no street lamps here on my road. it’s
    DARK.
    am so glad you are back

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  20. grace Avatar
    grace

    isn’t it? and it gives all of Us an opportunity to
    see differently

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  21. grace Avatar
    grace

    Maria…i am really really good at CONTEXT. i knew it
    was made…don’t worry. just WRITE!…more.
    and yes. the small understandings
    and i love the image of the “scarf of peripheral vision”
    you are a poet as well as bilingual…
    love to you

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  22. grace Avatar
    grace

    i would do ANYTHING for Jude

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  23. grace Avatar
    grace

    back

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  24. grace Avatar
    grace

    it was just atop a pile. right on top, all squnched up
    …and i just thought…Go!
    and yes…i know you love gauze…i have seen it….
    i am so glad you could post again…
    xoxo

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  25. grace Avatar
    grace

    reading …. i like the accidental kind…like the
    Wikipedia line of C. Edens.
    if you suddenly become taken by reading, i would like
    to know what it is…that would be interesting….

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  26. grace Avatar
    grace

    i think he meant that if looking at the World is hard
    then don’t…
    i am always Looking. always. since a child. and as a
    child, it WAS the peripheral that saved me

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  27. grace Avatar
    grace

    “drop resistance as much as possible” ………………..
    ……………………
    wishes. to me, wishes are like HOPE. i use both those
    words sometimes. but i have an aversion to both.
    what i might wish in a large sense may not really be for
    the Good of the Whole. and on a personal level, well…
    hmmmm….i guess now i am inclined to just Try Stuff and
    accept the result.
    but then…back to your thought. resistance. why do
    i bother????? just “love what is”.

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  28. grace Avatar
    grace

    you will be Worthy. i can’t wait to hear of it all.
    …the luminarias, the farolitas….(sp?) you will
    become one of them

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  29. grace Avatar
    grace

    yes. isn’t it just amazing? the
    incredible Continuity?

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  30. grace Avatar
    grace

    attached. yes. but for Good Reason. there is nothing
    else “out there”. so…we’ll see how we all do.
    We all know, but forget, that Everything has it’s Reason.

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  31. saskia Avatar
    saskia

    aha, that’s what he might have meant, okay, yes that would make sense; I tend not to see what is too hard for me, some things I do manage at long last, other things perhaps never.

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