so…no new news here. it's been there for a long time, since it happened. we've known all we cared to know. if you are interested in more about the illusion, there is Derrick Jensen's book The Culture of Make Believe.
as you can see. it's a big fat book. hard reading in a way, but such a relief in another.
so. yes. Why this article got put here is because of the
Serendipity
Synchronicity
CO incidence
Magic even maybe? Signs. Signs are always flashing, blinking like fireflies. sometimes we notice. and since i have had this feeling of something ….NEXT….just around the corner, i am watching, all slitty eyed…holding my breath. and this morning, i am doing the New York Times ritual where i go through the old papers from my friend that she gives me. setting aside the Arts Sections and Food Sections to read before using to start the morning fire. and i see this picture in the Arts section but pass it over without much notice and go on through the rest of that section but then for whatever reason i go back. and begin to read.
What was lost. what was deemed inconsequential to the forging of the american dream.
and what's interesting to me is that this comes in the days just before i go to visit the Mustang Camp on Sunday. My Biggest and First question to this woman would be….WHY? Why do wild horses need to be rounded up and "adopted"???? WHY is the Bureau of Land Management….land MANAGEMENT feeling they need to do this? There may be good reason. i don't know. that's for Sunday. but for today, i am wondering about wild and tame. about UNdomesticated and Domesticated.
i am interested in Goats which i see/feel as somewhere inbetween. they fall completely in neither category. I am really not so immediately interested in horses. i love horses. they make me cry. they are so Willing and Easy. like i was as a young girl for boys. i wanted the connection. like they seem to be so willing for. i had a horse. actually two of them. my horse was the first thing i bought after a broken down car when i was 19 years old. all my life i'd wanted a horse. well, all my more grown years. when i was a little girl, i wanted to BE a horse. in probably second grade we were supposed to write a "story" about what we wanted to be when we grew up. we had that fat lined paper to write it on. the blunt fat leaded pencils. and as i have told you before, i had spent many many days up in my childhood attic looking at the pictures in National Geographic. the Issues that were about the SouthWest. and when i learned to read, in First Grade, i not only looked at the pictures, but i read words and looked those words up in the Dictionary. Obsidian. so, i wrote for that assignment that i wanted to be a Wild Stallion, shining obsidian black. i plagerized those words, shining obsidian black from an article i'd read up in the attic. and i went on for a few lines about running the mesas…which today i refer to as the Rim. so…we are circling Way Way back here if we follow the flashing blinking lights of Signs. Circling way way around.
the horses i know best in my immediate life are Alz B's daughter-in-law Nelia's horses. she has four. She is a lifelong horsewoman. and to this day, has a trainer come every week. they go round and round in the arena there…she on the horse…the trainer calling out to her. i've watched this. she trains for Dressage. English. It's all quite beautiful. this woman and her horses. really. but something in me is also very uneasy with it. Why? i keep asking self. Why?
and what's arisen recently when i think about the domestication of these Goats…a few of which DO NOT want to be touched, is the Old Cowboy's dog Rosie. he had decided a few weeks ago that she needed to "go". She was old. and she was. very old for a Chow. and she had begun peeing on the floor, not wanting to go outside in the cold. so there was Angst and back and forth and he finally decided to get her "put down". Rosie had been his constant companion for maybe we think 17 years. she never went anywhere in those 17 years. his house, his yard. Rosie. she was never trained to walk on a leash even. (my fault?) she followed him constantly. from the hallway near the bedroom to the bathroom to the kitchen table back to the chair in the living room, the hallway to the bathroom, the kitchen table, the hallway to the bedroom. her Work in life. and when he decided to have her put down, the guy came and had to DRAG her. Literally DRAG her out to load in his truck because she had never learned to walk on a leash.
so. is it a good idea?, to learn to walk on a leash? would it be a good idea for these Goats?
and as i've watched the Utube video's there is an added factor. i remember Way Back a workshop that a woman taught about one's work place. about Power Over versus Power With.
how does this come into play?
and i've finished the Kantha. things in the middle got into some disarray. will need to look there a lot and re~do. but i see that this is about also some kind of Wildness…some kind of need FOR a sense of …….uhhhhh…..non compliance maybe? i don't know. i really don't know yet. waiting.


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