windthread

IS?, the straight stalk better than the wobbly dream like blue one?  i don't know yet.  Looking.  and her hair is just good enough now.    how funny, to spend hours of a day on a few strands of hair….

 

the two leaves got washed and scrunched as best i could.    they are Deb Lacativa's work.  she irons stuff.  i don't know why, but i love her anyway.  no more no less.    pinned here to that iris cloth that was Blue for a while only.  

 

Second year Woad is getting it's bloom

 

Young Locust has the beginnings of blooms

 

Iris have managed 3 strong Electrical Storms/High Wind and maintain their integrity 

Nothing with neighbor.  She was gone today, with her son.  Still gone.  and i have been unable to stay away from the changes.  Goats are really, ok.  but in the place they are,  they are continuing restless.    Out where they WERE,  there was room to invent activity.  room to Run.  room to Wander a little even.   and i knew that this is pulling on me when i dreamed last night that i'd forgotten to feed some little ones.  this is an old, longstanding dream.  the circumstances of the dream changes,  but it's the same theme.  I'd forgotten some little ones.  in the dream last night i think they were puppies.  quite small, fluffy things.  i think puppies.  there were two.   a light one and a honey colored tricolored one.  they had become weak.  and by feed,  well,   it's breast feeding.   yes.  i breast feed forgotten little ones in my dreams.  over years.  sometime, a lot of times,  they are more like monkeys.  but they are always animals.  it's never human babies that i've forgotten.  animals.  and in the dreams i am just so glad that i still have milk.  i can correct my negligence quickly.  efficiently.  

so…this dream.  it's been a while.  really, a long time since one of those.  but there it was.  last night.

and also, same dream,  Gideon, the big beauty full old buck Goat here,  just as kind of an aside to what was Central in the dream moment,  big old buck Goat Gideon out of the blue did a triple back flip.  TRIPLE.  it was totally amazing to see…this big old Goat rising into the air and spinning 3 times.  he crash landed,  but didn't mind that.  he was fine.  he loved that he flipped so well.

so, about Rearranging…thinking about the dream,   listening to the discomfort of the Goats,  moving through the day with this kind of energy going,  it occured to me that the reason i am feeling what i am feeling is that i had gotten used to things going relatively Ok.   with seeing a need and then figuring out a way to find a ,   a,      well,  fix.   find a way.   and i am in a place right now where that fix is interdependant with my neighbor.   

and then,  the 3 Electrical Storms and their RAIN,  which the Earth here so desperately needs…caused the roof in the Room to leak.   the quick fix that Paul Who Can Do Anything did wasn't enough.  and at the time, he said that.  it might not work.  it isn't.  

so i thought today…how can i work this?  and it occured to me that i can at Least THINK differently.  So,  for now,  i am going to rearrange things.  i am going to go under the assumtion that things might be Ify.   and IF there are days,  like spans of time,  when things are OK or GOOD,  i will be Very Gratefull.  but i won't Expect that.  i will expect, at best,  neutral.  just neutral….days of one hoof in front of the other.   and will watch this.  see how it goes.