Part 1 All the kinds of Happiness as all the myriad beings experience it and this is really very much a Journal Page, maybe Pages, on going for a while, and it's important to say that i am referring to my own very singular sense of Happiness which i very well understand is mine and mine alone, that Others have their own truth about Happiness. We do not need to be the same. It's GOOD that we are not the same. It makes the Whole of What It Is. So i am just going to rattle away here for a while and lets not jump to any conclusion because things might change half way through. I'm just looking for something that i feel is about the Next. Right now i Don't Know. And if no one feels the urge to comment this is very OK.
Tay's Artwork. The other day for no reason i knew, i tied a strip of black and white at the North. Today i was Looking. And thought about the 4 directions, the 4 seasons. North Winter East Spring South Summer West Autumn. These from old Native teachings i studied long ago. So, i realized they still stand, these definitions of direction/season/human doings and the thing of Circle remains. There are many small things presenting recently, bits of conversations, things that hold me in place for long moments, fears that seem to be asking to be faced. And the Dreaming. The Dreaming has changed. Still as crazy as ever but people and things of TODAY are being incorporated. This i view as significant. It's New.
And yesterday, i woke to that "Narrator Voice"….that tells me it's time to Work. I've written something here about Narrator Dreams in the past, but i don't remember where. But again. The Question of the Narrator the other morning upon rising to Daytime consciousness was:
What makes you Happy? What is Happiness to you?
And as i sat there in the Morning Chair in the still dark, i realized i was Stumped.
I quit THINKING directly about this and let the questions simply be a very dim undercurrent to the day's doings. But they did remain as if painted in a very soft but vibrant pale blue color. Happiness.
So i don't think i want to say anything else about this this evening. Just Put It Here to come back to. And on that Woven Circle that Tay made, i did do something. I thought to tie threads on it to signify moments of the BRIGHT kind of Happiness….the kind that just takes your breath for a second before you move along. So i tied two strings today. One maroon one for Tay bringing me a grub and the second a bright turquoise for the oh so Excellent and Loving Sound of a Sandhill Crane this morning. A day early, they are Returning. MIGRATION. They are coming back. Which fills me with Such Relief and Such Deep Gratitude for the Mystery. Fills me with Happiness.
The cloth…just more grass seeds
Part 2
Mike of Thelma and Mike of Southwest Native Plants who i went Yerba Mansa hunting with a little while ago….called. He had also been investigating the Large White Grubs and had actually gone further than i got:
OK. Grubs can be identified by the configuration of their butt holes and the hairs around them. FACT. eeee. I looked and thought. and looked and thought. Do i want to go Out There and turn up a grub and hold it with my oh so great long forceps that i stole years and years ago from the University of Michigan and sit with a Magnifying Glass and look at it's butt? ACK and NO but…in the interest of Permaculture…………………………. maybe it's my responsibility. So i thought i'll sleep on it. Tay had been in and out all night. In/Out Out/In. and this morning as i set out to feed Goats, there in the middle of the path, a Grub. It's head was a little squashed but it was alive. When she digs them up, she just looks at them and then goes on to something else. But this one was placed in the exact middle of the path. I go back and forth on that path so many times a day that anything at all New stands out in Neon. Not to regular Vision, but a kind of Sensing that says: LOOK
so i had my gloves on and i just picked it up carefully and took it over to place in the jar lid and go back In to get the magnifying glass. And i looked. a Crescent butt hole. Wasn't sure about the hairs. Couldn't really see that well. But a Crescent butt hole. And i had to go to work so i left it in the lid
When i got home, it had died. Died.
Died.
Am still feeling this. Hence the Maroon thread on the Circle.
windthread 
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