the Three Cloths
this one now, re named….7 Crows and 7 Goats a Love Letter to Goethe
Last evening, Judy Keathley sent this:
"Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definately commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur that would never otherwise have occured. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no human could have dreamed would come her way."
Goethe
And i sat stunned.
The three Cloths are connected, that's why there are Three for the first time. It began long before, really, with talking about Claiming a while back, but came into "form" with the Joys
the first one above on 2/5/2015 post Joy. All the small joys. That are just there, floating, to be noticed or not. but There, nonetheless. The common joys that appear and reappear and weave the reality of life.
and then, the odd collection of CatHairFragments that "wanted to be" and i realized were about Transmigration…
and inbetween the Other one that "wanted to be"….the 7 Crows and 7 Goats. They are all part of the same. Claiming.
I don't know how evident it has been or not over the last while, but i have been uhhhh, struggling?, well, that's too dramatic a word, but something like that, i have been working with trying to find some Place to BE with the possibility that the daughter might Never come for her Goats. And i have been becoming more and more acutely aware that i need to uhhh, find a place to be IN with that, in the not knowing. In leaving the possibility OPEN that she WILL come, but also find myself a way to FULLY live in what there is NOW and not let what there may or may not be in any future change what there is NOW. This is the first Cloth. The Joys. These fragments of Joy are HERE. Right Now. Every day. This is where i need to LIVE.
the Transmigration is WHY.
the Love letter, well, love letters are love letters. and here it is.
This morning i called Charlotte at her work up at the Magdalena Schools, up the mountain, because i didn't have a home phone for her. I told her that i had replayed our conversation in my head and that i Wanted that piece of land next to me. I told her that the Old Cowboy that i take care of is Failing and that he has said so many times that i am in his Will and that he hoped that when he dies i will buy a new trailer house and a new car. And i told her that i don't want a new trailer house or a new car, that i like the ones i have but that i WOULD like to buy her land. That upon his death, although i don't have any idea how much money there would be, but some, and upon his death i would like to use that money to buy her land. Cash.
I said it.
I said it Out Loud.
in the past, whenever i thought about the possibility of some money coming that way, i have always thought about splitting it up, however much there might be, and i don't know, but splitting it up between my kids. My two kids and my grand kids.
but suddenly, yesterday, and saying to Dee that maybe i would marry my life i thought…NO. I will buy that land. I will buy SPACE that will ensure that these Goats can be here, in the event that they have no where else to go, in the event that the Daughter has changed her mind. I will buy that land. I will buy that land. Then, last night, and still as i write this in this moment, it feels
Selfish
but that is something i am going to have to work with. So i told Charlotte that i want to buy that land that i would have cash at some point to do that. She was Glad and said YES and so we have a Woman to Woman Agreement. She will keep it until i can buy it. And i am a little stunned.
windthread 
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