windthread

Paul and his brother Billy showed up.  This trailer backed in loaded with 4×4 posts,  bags of Quick Crete.   My early Christmas present from Bill,  of Bill and Nelia and Alz B.  (again,  i should put a cast of characters somewhere on the side bar.)   I didn't want them here because daughter and Granddaughter are somewhere between California and here,  driving straight through…i would have liked the day to be quiet because soon it won't be,  but Paul had penciled me in and here they were.  It's for shoring up any weak spots in the whole fence.  They dug holes and put in some of the 4x4s,  cemented them in.  He thinks there are two more days work of it.  eeeee.   And i needed to dig out the bottoms of all 4 gates to the various Goat yards.  Normally i can enter and exit through a crack but to get the wheelbarrow in,  not so easy,  so free them…pitchforking and shovel.  Did it.

I'd not met Paul's brother Billy before.  Somewhere in the day he was telling me how much he loved the Beetles.  How when John Lennon was shot,  his grandfather didn't know how to tell him the news.  How he was so distraught,  they let him stay home from school for a week to grieve.  He told me that every year, never miss,  he has a birthday party for John Lennon.  He has a full set of John Lennon commemorative mugs and everybody gets drunk as they play Beetles music.  Oh…i know,  it wasn't out of the blue,  but because they have their boom box out there while they are working playing Classic Rock,  and i went out when Miss You came on,  Rolling Stones,…turned the volume up Loud.   And a Joy,  while they were setting the  4x4s in Gideon and Flash's yard,  Gideon was  attentive to their work,  standing close and watching and off and on they petted him,  scratched him under his chin,  his ears and admired his beautyFull flowing beard and he just soaked it in.  It was enough to make up in those moments for everything in the world that is off balance.  Tender and Loving  Exchange.  So i had to stay here all day because of how i am and because of Tay,  who is very wary of Men.   She circles and Circles and guards the porch and guards the Goats and just Guards Everything,  because she is Unsure.  So i stayed home.  But needed to do laundry for daughter and granddaughter plus get stuff to make Ruben sandwiches,  so after they left,  at either 4:30 or 5:30 whichever Time you are choosing to go on,  i took off to do laundry at the Old Cowboys.  and go to the grocery during the dryer time.   So strange to go in there….in to the emptyness.  When i am out in the laundry place in the room back of the garage and come back in through the kitchen door is the most.   He should be there.  Sitting in his chair at the kitchen table.  Plus it was at night.  I am never gone at night.    I have not been able to feel it as i need to.  As i will still,  over some time.  So i just talk to him.  Telling him the news.  Which is that daughter and granddaughter intend to take Jeff and the baby back to California within hours of when they arrive.  Here and Gone is the hope.  We'll see.  But i'll make Ruben Sandwiches in case there is time and they are hungry.  Have a great recipe for the sauce  from Zingerman's Deli in  Ann Arbor, Mi.  Daughter remembers.  And i keep wondering if this Vortex of Energy will sometime suddenly dissipate,  like maybe how Hurricanes do,  and become 

Still.

I want

Still.  Just the quiet ripples of the Aftermath.

and i really am wanting to make this Cloth.  Of one of the old old Mesquite trees…so old but so small, really (me?)  standing so    black barked against the landscape with some kind of BirdKites,  KiteBirds,   alight or caught?  in it's branches…    Want to make this cloth.  Next.