an entire day of it.    and even things like collecting dog shit into a plastic bag was JOY.

 

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Early, before dawn,  i Understood this.  The little Cloth thing that has hung on the Morning Chair Lamp for years… that i'd made during one of Jude's online classes,  i think Cloth to Cloth?  But this morning suddenly it had a Place.

 

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on Tay's Art…her repurposed basket Shield.   And i was awed by how long some things take to find Form and how Waiting allows that,  Allows that.

 

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i distracted self with that cloth weave that i'd put on the pillow…moved it to the South facing curtain.  Morning SUN when we have it comes strong here and the Monitor screen has a glare,  color is distorted,  so a cloth on the curtain.  Today i changed it and put this.

 

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i made this.  It is so so good on Everything.  Omlets,  macaroni and cheese.

 

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these, the most.  Maybe tomorrow.

 

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Looking this morning,  i knew i wanted to keep the shape of this as is.  How.

 

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I printed the pic then ripped it out and glued it on another paper.  Drew.  This way.  Hung by threads from a stick.  yes.

Chinche continues.   a few hours ago she began making sounds.  Sounds like dogs make when they are dreaming.   Tay attends her.  Lies in front of her,  sometimes nose to nose.  Her breathing as i write this is labored.   It is my understanding of the Buddhist teachings that we need to LIVE our deaths.  I could call the Vet,  but not really,  because it's the weekend.  I could load her into the car and drive her 70 miles to the weekend vet and have her euthanized,  a word for killed.  Who would that be FOR?,  i am thinking.  Her?  She is dying.  Me? because i love her.  US ?   or

do we just go.  do we go Through it.  Death.  

I have been in attendance to Death.  The Ex husband who fought it to the end,  Alz B who denied it,  Old Cowboy who was so afraid.  More.  But i learn from them all,  for my own Death which will come and i am learning most from Chinche,  who makes small sounds because she IS.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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20 responses to “SUN”

  1. Martine Bos Avatar

    A life means birth and death…….and both is beautiful.
    I would only euthanize my animals when in pain, otherwise i’d give them time to live till their last moment…….
    So beautiful how Tay watches over her!

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  2. grace Avatar

    yes. how Tay watches. I take cues from her, that she is not anxious, but Attending. She is a young dog…knows nothing from experience, but knows from intuition, from innate understanding, the smell of death, how
    death is just death, how it comes.

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  3. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    Chinche came all those years ago seeking sanctuary and found it and much more so it is only fitting that she is honored by remaining home, surrounded by what she found all those years ago and her new faithful sentinel (Tay) to see her safely onward…

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  4. grace Avatar

    Sanctuary. Refuge.
    just like me.
    Home. by the stove. on her blanket. Tay, the New One
    keeping.
    right now, all is quiet. Quiet. Safely Onward.

    Like

  5. Stephanie Avatar
    Stephanie

    Grace, of course it has to be your decision. You are there with Chinche. I will share my most recent experience. Our most beloved cat Timothy died in November. He had been ill for a very long time but it was an illness that did not leave him feeling pain or distress. What I promised myself is that if, when time was very short, he began to suffer, I would not make him endure that. Finally that day came. An appointment was made with his vet that afternoon. Timmy was calm all the way to the end; we were with him. I do not regret that decision. I have seen difficult deaths that took too long. A peaceful going was what I was able to give Timmy. Others may feel differently and I respect that.

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  6. Stephanie Avatar
    Stephanie

    Dear Grace, I meant to say that my love and prayers are with you. And that Chinche sails ever so gently.

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  7. Mo Crow Avatar

    Ah Tay’s shield & the strings and stick for your sailing sea & the light & Chinche with such gentle Grace

    Like

  8. Michelle in NYC Avatar

    Excellent hanging for the heading east boat! If you all made it through the night, may the somosas perfume your air today. here, sleety rain and I’m making comfort food too.

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  9. Deb G Avatar

    Love seeing the weaving in the window, so beautiful. Glad that Chinche seems to be feeling little pain, that Tay is there to attend.

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  10. Liz Avatar

    The boat hanging by threads … like a life, so delicately balanced. Yes.

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  11. saskia Avatar

    happy new year Grace
    (a lot of catching up to do as old laptop let me down, finally succumbed and bought a new one)
    Brave Chinche, this is how it goes.

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  12. Bev Avatar

    there are many watching over Chinche besides Tay and Yourself
    the path also is filled with Love

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  13. grace Avatar

    each death is singular, those dying and to those loving. There is no “right” way. Timmy. I love that…that his name was
    Timmy. Is Timmy. You loved him well.

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  14. grace Avatar

    yes, Tay’s shield and the sailing

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  15. grace Avatar

    no time for samosas but Incense, yes, we burn Nag Champa
    and listen again to the 108 Chalisas

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  16. grace Avatar

    she’s gone now, On her Way and i know with Courage again.
    Let it be so for All of Us.

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  17. grace Avatar

    it is a delicate thing, Life

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  18. grace Avatar

    Brave. yes. a Brave dog.

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  19. grace Avatar

    we have carried her through to the point when she needed to go Ahead.
    She has taught me.

    Like

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