it was Work Away and when i got back i took a nap. On the futon couch. Woke and just sat there, looking across the room. Looking to the West Window on the right with Winter Bitch and the Best Cloth. Looking back, across the room to the altar and then…to it's right or my left, the squares of wood that had been lying flat under the tray with the tomato seedlings. Still there….and i stood them up and just stared at them. They seemed to depict how it is in my mind now, where i can't find a Thought that seems to offer any kind of sense to what seems to be happening with Humanity right now. I became very interested in them because when the mind cannot make any kind of meaning, it looks for anything that might give meaning.
i wish i could believe there is a god, i wish i could believe in God, i wish. but i don't. and so i am left here, in this day today unable to find a single Thought that eases any of this, that sees hope of any Intervention, human or divine that will steer us through these dark days. We are on our own. How do we Go?






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