a star. Who would have guessed. There is no "bloom", it is simply the Inside of the pod…..?!
by mid day the two blooms were holding hands
you might remember back in the Winter Time when my Best Life Dog Chinche was dying. I struggled to know what to do.
according to what i understand of Buddhist teachings, our death is as important as our birth. So, i questioned every day, but i waited. Carrying her in and out of the house, holding her up to pee. And in the end, she died. There was no sound to any of it. Just breathing. I kept going to the Felt Sense.
Today, the Most Loved Snowbunny, matriarch of this Herd, made her way through the corridor to the Way Back. Twice in that journey, she faltered and called out. They all gathered. I couldn't watch. Next time i looked, she had made her way back to the Albatross, was resting there. I went in and sat with her, smoothing her face with my hands, thinking ok maybe more and she ate 3 roasted salted peanuts in the shell. Crunching. Tay kept lying at the fence in there. She wouldn't come away.
Now and then there would be a Calling Out from her…it was a sound that said pain. I'd closed off the door into the Albatross. None of the rest could go in, but they didn't try either. They came close and looked but went back. There was rain forcast. IF i needed to, how could i carry her? Where would i carry her to? I would carry her, if i could, into the house. Into the ROOM. But could i? Could i carry her in the Dark? I sat with her, knowing there was no hope. Knowing it was just waiting.
the Vet does not respond on Sundays.
Felt Sense. Eugene Gendlin. Focusing. I called and he came. Putting her Down. That's how it's said with farm animals. Putting them Down. I held her and caressed her face and washed her in tears that weren't hers but my own for whatever they are worth and of meaning. SnowBunny. Grand and Elegant SnowBunny. Fierce SnowBunny. I had spent the morning waiting for him digging her grave. He is kind. i thought it wasn't big enough but he said it was good and dug some final shovels full himself. He and his assistant woman carried her out in one of the beauty full cloths.
a diamond and the Child Buddha for today. Tomorrow i'll bring the Cairn from the Diamond garden over here, to her. Bun. my most loved, Everyone's most Loved. Bun Bun.
Oona and Onday. her daughters
when i downloaded…i was startled by how much this looked like SnowBunny, but it's Ooona
Onday will be the Herd lead.
When i say how much i "love" these Goats….it comes no where near the feeling of it. The words are no where near what it is. The connection with them.
windthread 
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