this morning…for not even Some moments, maybe a moment or two and then it was like it had not been this way at all. just a regular sky. if i'd been sitting on the toilet i wouldn't have ever imagined this.
blink your eye
then i sat with the match boxes for a while before going to do cat duty at Allans and on into town for the 50lbs of dog food which i forgot the other day. To the dollar store for mailing tape. even to Walmart for sculpy and acrylic paints to send to the kids. ok and all that with a quick stop at the grocery for Tamari as long as i was there. it was very windy, but well…that's how it is sometimes. And i made it home, unloaded what i'd bought and it was picking up. Sitting in the Morning Chair, having a hard and raw conversation with daughter Jenny who called, talking, thinking, talking and it was more…Wind. More and More seemingly by the moments and i am talking to her about why someone might want to partner up, all the reasons we are familiar with why we wouldn't, but looking at why we might want to, like how Alyssia might want to, and i talk about how it is when stuff is going on and there's only One of You and no one to say to….eeeeeeee, what are we going to Do???????? so you just need to say it to your dog and your dog is counting on YOU….lying so close to your leg
and as we are going over this, it's not new, but we are revisiting it from a newer angle, there is a great deep POP. a pop. but a strange BIG pop and i go to the door of the ROOM, expecting anything and
the old dead Russian Olive bird viewing tree. Snapped of at the base…at earth. Snapped. The sound was the snapping off, i could not hear the sound of the crash in the Wind. Maybe it was silent.
it fell perfectly. Some upper branches on the steps of the door of the ROOM. it fell over the milkstand but only bent the thing that holds the bowl, only bent it….didn't break it. It fell nicely over one of the feed bowls, did not squash it, fell next to the clothesline pole…Next to it, fell just to the side of the windows of the ROOM, so close, but just to the side.
it's down.
this hurts. that it fell. it WAS the most glorious tree until the insects came that caused it's death and then still for so long, it was glorious because birds still loved it and came and i could so easily see which were in the neighborhood on their migration, who was here to nest for the summer. It provided shade for the Goats, even tho there were no leaves, just its shadow…then they would line along the shade of the shadow, you've seen pics of this here.
it's down. Tree.
and the walls of this home, a trailer home, an OLD trailer home billow back and forth with the Wind, it's clear that the walls are no longer attached at the bottom. I'd never thought about how a trailer home has a lifespan but i am seeing this now. Life span. National Weather Service says the Winds are 30 or 40mph. Not true. I know Wind. These gusts are more 50/60. and steady. Hours now. Tay stays close. Her body touching my leg at all times. We are One, she and i. We waited till 4:30 to take feed and water, hoping for a slight let up. Not. So we just went. Feed flew everywhere. They scrambled and called out, wanting me to make it different. Not. As i type this, it continues.
They say that WIND will increase here. As Things Change.
it's dark now.
this morning, before all this, i added Ionian Blue and Baked Earth to the breasts of this angel. She is good. She is Feminine. still. but Destiny can make whatever it is she makes of this. That cartoon face on the other side, which is what she looks at a lot on her whatever it is, the computerized thing that i can't think of the name of now, but her thing…those animated beings that are large eyed and supposedly female…i need this angel being here to send to her. The feminine Principle is changing. But i want very much this angel, this bald naked angel for her. The small blue bird.
one of the sides. She has a thing of FEEDing. Still, long after she has been gone, i find little places here and there where she has put little things, beads and dry flower buds, tucked here and there, to feed her imaginary world.
windthread 
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