all night, WIND. Morning, rain, snow, rain, sleet until almost noon when SUN took over and was brilliant, took everything away and made it all just so New and of this Present moment.
Snowbunny's absence is acute. They would not come into the Way Back. There was such a sense of altered state. They stayed in the middle yard even though there was SUN in the Way Back. The first time i had to crawl through the Migrational Corridor and walk down to call them. Come Come, i
say
in a cheery voice…come come , as Jenny always did, and then i add the Fake Navajo words and some singing,…..Come Come and they are so hesitant, but they do. They come. But everything is different and Goats are very specific about Mapping. They know where everything is and in detail. This….this world was very different. They stayed in the middle yard all day. At Evening Feed, i just called. did not need to walk through, they came and were orienting themselves to where their Water Tub was (where its always been for years) and i realized that they had not drunk water all day.
no birds came until just at dusk, two of the Morning Doves did. Sat on the Horizontal branches and seeing them there, i cried. Not a lot…just some small tears.
I planted this Tree. a twig. there was nothing. I planted her and the old apricot in the House yard at about the same time. How this tree grew so huge for a Russian Olive. who knows but she did. SO magnificant. And always still, in her leafless self, so Giving and of Use. And now, Downed, horizontal, the angle of Earth. Her.
i am surprised by how i feel. How i guess, all this time when she has been dead, i still somehow saw her as her full self, all leafed out and nests. It didn't matter that it wasn't true anymore.
Trees.
Trees in desert. Trees you have planted, dug earth and planted and then patted the earth down around with your hands., Trees here are so singular. Individual. rising up, no matter.



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