there is a teaching story that has many versions, the first time i heard it, it was this way. Milarepa, a so revered Tibetan Buddhist Saint…in the time of the years long retreat in the mountain cave, was off gathering fire wood, returning, his cave was filled with demons. Horrible demons. As horrible as you could imagine. Their flesh hung off them, their stench was unbearable. He at first tried telling them the best he could of the teachings of the Path but they laughed and remained horrible and just before the end of the story, his gesture was to invite them to share Tea.
Sickness brings us to our knees. We are weak and defenseless. the demons, in my own experience, not so much demons, but gremlins, have an open door. I looked up the word gremlin. Not what i was thinking in my own mind. So as i was feeding Goats just now, goblins came through. Gremlins/Goblins….not it either. so i am going to rest with the word gremlins, meaning to me, uneasy, strange, troublemaking, unkind creatures. gremlins. When we are weak, they can come. and we, not in our usual state of uhhhhh, denial? or sense of our own ability, or, well, not in our usual state, we have nothing to do but to see that they have arrived. My demons/goblins/gremlins are no longer about hate or lust or greed. But they are about fear. They are about the What If kinds of free floating fears. They are how my mother raised me. About all the things that might happen. And only Jesus could keep us…but that's a whole different layer of this story, so we won't go there, but just to say it's STRONG and deeply ingrained from very early childhood.
So i am sick. and Sickness is hard for me because it is so rare. When it hits, i am startled. I become like that small rabbit in the field, nowhere to run. Frozen. Wide eyed. Then i become like Goats. Just waiting. No struggle. Waiting.
and all those free floating fears ascend, or rise up and
i have found there is nothing to do but to witness, them, me.
and this time they are such great teachers. I receive them. Like Milarepa, who taught me, i offer them tea.
i have no cups. So on the small altar cloth that Jude made, a small weaving, i put these acorn "hats". As cups. I invite my fears for tea. I say these words…i invite you for tea….and i have that blessed vision of the Calendula Flower, opening, undulating, wings of petals, swimming to the surface, i have that Vision, that i SAW and i invite them in the presence of this healing Being.
i will tell you. Lani, of Taking Root. a Gifted herbalist. a woman of this Earth. The first night of the tea, i slept. Slept. Slept. Since then, each night and day, the herbs of this tea heal. And heal in a way of gentleness, of soft change to the illness, to bring the body to a return to it's ability to clear and ease the experience of the virus' presence….
and i think how the virus is similar to the gremlins.
and i realized…this far….Will the kantha stitch make the MARKS on the cloth disappear??????? Can the kantha stitches be
intermittant?
looking…..understanding stitch on cloth
windthread 
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