unsure what word (s) to use.  just emotional will have to do.  Not sad,  not good but not bad.  Just, well, feelings.   Tried to focus on a few things but it wasn't happening.  Went from packing boxes to the cloth back to boxes to making a list of all larger objects i will take,  trying to imagine them all together and in a Uhaul and i find that really impossible,  to picture stuff in one of those trucks.  Picturing how i would stack them.  so back and forth and really being stuck on wanting to put that figure on cloth.  

 

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while looking for muslin for that, found this big piece and thought maybe i just won't make any more Cloths for a while.  just use this big piece like a flannel board they had in Sunday School.  Just press stuff on it.  An installation that could change by the minute.  

 

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so the paper drawing and a Glennis moon i'd found while packing.

 

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but i kept wanting to draw this figure on cloth so i did,  and tried to figure out how this could go and i can't.  There's a limit to merging drawing and cloth collage.  So…it just got left this way.  And that emotional, uneasy feeling remained all through the day.

 

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first wild sunflower

 

 

 

 

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18 responses to “feelings”

  1. Jan Avatar
    Jan

    it’s difficult being in limbo. . .waiting to know when you will actually go. how much clearer things will be when you have a date for going.
    timing of season and weather seemed to be a consideration at one point, no?

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  2. Mo Crow Avatar

    Aaaaarrrrrkkkk! love the moon on the cloth, it’s an uneasy feeling day here too…

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  3. Michelle in NYC Avatar

    Disease and putting up with it. So much to do that only imagining will suffice until the time gets specific. Oh but that figure…she says so much! The sunflower arrived to remind you to turn toward the light :–>

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  4. jude Avatar

    i love how cloth sticks to cloth. just looking helps to catch the thought. It is very often enough.

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  5. Kristin Avatar
    Kristin

    As I read your words, see your photos and feel your story of the many aspects of this change-making time….you pull me to just 6 years ago when my home was being packed and loaded into a U haul to travel here to Missoula…My daughter and her husband did the moving while I continued to work and train my replacement in the library on the reservation..a month of living with friends, saying goodbyes, leaving a place deeply embedded in my soul..transition if a huge shift in ever so many ways…the cloth with cloth on it, the sketch now on some fabric..all outward bits of the stirrings within..your sharing of this time is being felt deeply by a community of many from many places…you will go well, whenever that leaving day is in front of you…life on the road will be so unknown until you are within that time…and then…arriving on the land that will be opening its arms to embrace you, Tay, and the goats… and all the treasures you so carefully have packed…WooHoo…such a time!!!

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  6. Martine Bos Avatar

    You found a Glennis moon on this full moon night? How beautiful. I just went outside and she smiled at me……….

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  7. Dakotah Avatar

    I felt like that all day yesterday, this same day as you…maybe it was that funky full moon?
    That dark pink color…ah, it gets me every time.

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  8. ali Avatar
    ali

    The figure on cloth, appearing and disappearing, here and not here. It must be hard to hold the Centre dear Grace

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  9. grace Avatar

    yes. season and weather. we had hoped. But it didn’t happen. so…now, this is Sunday the 18th, with a HEAT WAVE in the South West, we still need to go. Somehow. We will need to go.
    Jenny is looking into the airconditioners that they use for horse trailers that hook into the vehicle that is hauling.
    We’ll figure something out. There’s no choice.

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  10. grace Avatar

    that day has come and gone and we still go

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  11. grace Avatar

    yes…thank you for saying that…how the Sunflower speaks

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  12. grace Avatar

    today, the 18th, even looking is going to be packed away
    …i wonder…then what?

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  13. grace Avatar

    yes, yvette, so much, xxx and ooo and eeeee and all of it

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  14. grace Avatar

    in certain moments, i think of you. i think of how you DID this, this move and this re rooting and how All is Well with you…
    i think of all this

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  15. grace Avatar

    i did. I haven’t seen this glennis moon in forever, but suddenly, there it was

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  16. grace Avatar

    the moons PULL is real.

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  17. grace Avatar

    sort of, but the centre is fluid i am understanding, the Centre
    Center
    is Everywhere. There is nothing BUT Centre.
    this is the understanding that needs to be accepted.

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