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hard

it is hard.   Every day there are new and totally different plant people rising and thriving.  Some with flowers,  some with seed heads,  every day…a new one,  not seen before.    The frustration at not being able to get the pics on here is enormous.  I feel it in my body…

in the past,  i could post maybe 6 or 7 pics a day.  could document this Amazement but now…just posting a single pic takes 2 people and 2 days work.

I can tell you that amazingly, the little oranges are appearing everywhere,  that the incredibly TALL purples are rising on a single stem from what looked to be iris.   the new and close to the earth grass being,  the tall and fierce grasses.    The tiny,  like really tiny yellows.  All the many forms of what are kin i think to sweet peas.  Every where.  Every where,  things arise and go to the SUN.

I can say how there was a disruption in the soil at the close end of the experimental planting bed,  that at first looked to be maybe a gopher?,  but then there were minions of ants for a day but then only for a day and now today a hollowed out doorway for some being.  If i could,  i would show that here.  Document it.  I can't.  I feel this as a tangle in the center of me.  And i think about this.  This physical feeling of a tangle in the center of me.  How do i work with this?  I can't and won't be able to "go back to how it was".   It's not possible.  So how do i go from how it IS now?

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33 responses to “hard”

  1. me-ml Avatar
    me-ml

    you know i understand your frustration with the tangle, i have been living it everyday since i had ‘my’ stroke. [and lately some vision loss] ..truly it was also a stroke of wisdom. and a chance to learn more about ease. [the eyes, still working to learn from that one!] Nature is probably your salvation as it is with me, It is so beautiful ..color and texture.. there. We have to unexpectedly ‘give up’; and at the same time we gain. You lift me and i can soar with you, i pull you along with my thought! We All Are, and Going. Love Big love big bright love X
    ..your words paint a most excellent photo. i can smell the green in your air!

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  2. ml Avatar
    ml

    oh dear grace you got me going, you know a whole lot better than me. and we are going to be fine..you funny thing, you.
    The Tangle is LIFE 😀 X

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  3. joanne Avatar
    joanne

    So, okay. Put the Family to work on a router for you. Electricity to your trailer. A satellite dish atop the roof. Things must start to happen or before you know it–it’s Winter again and you have been there a YEAR without much progress and Grace–I don’t see much happiness for you if that is the way it goes.

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  4. Liz A Avatar
    Liz A

    So frustrating … for all. I’m wondering if your local public library might have some tech resources that would get you past your current dilemma … either classes or one-on-one assistance. That might lead to a different blog platform (I know … an awful thought, having to start over), but if it makes it possible to freely share as you have in the past, it might be worth it.

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  5. Deb G Avatar
    Deb G

    Is it just the pictures that are difficult to post? If you can post text easily, maybe we as readers just need to imagine more? So easy to do with your writing. You have me thinking about how we depend on the visual so much these days.

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  6. Patty Avatar
    Patty

    Fierce Grasses-a potential poem.
    Your descriptions are almost better than photos.

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  7. Mo Crow Avatar
    Mo Crow

    dancing with the changes (((Grace))) and the wild wonder of spring

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  8. dee Avatar
    dee

    I agree with Joanne that a fix is in order. Having said that, I couldn’t help but find the silver lining, reading along, as each plant appeared before my mind’s eye. They appeared due to the strength of your prose and the unique voice with which you write. I SEE it, and I feel you seeing it.

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  9. beth Avatar
    beth

    If you can take photos on your phone, you might check into whether it will work with Instagram.

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  10. Anita Avatar
    Anita

    Oh Grace, I’ve so often found in my life that change begets more change, and not always a pleasant one. For the present, you are so gifted that you can write word-pictures with your prose. As others have said, I can feel what you’ve written about the “beings” you’re seeing. Lucky you are to be able to express so clearly what you’re seeing that pictures are not so necessary. Hopefully, soon you will find a fix–not to re-create what was in the past, but a new future. Hugs to you–Anita.

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  11. Tina Avatar
    Tina

    It was not that long ago that you were no where to be found .. It was faith alone that kept me knowing that you were OK and that all was well. So Grace for you not having the photo’s to share I know is really hard .. but for now your words are enough for me to see it all in my minds eye. But yes Instagram is a good idea .. I just very recently started posting pictures on it and it seems to work well.

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  12. Michelle Slater Avatar
    Michelle Slater

    I’m in agreement about your prose. It does paint pictures but I am hoping that a way can be found to get you back to mounting your own photos on your blog. My understanding is that the plan is to fly free of connections (electric and cable) so perhaps that’s the way it will have to be. Can you think of how else it might be? Meanwhile, the glory of the land and your just-going may suffice to get you through.

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  13. cynthia Avatar
    cynthia

    finding your words is simply wonderful after their absence..i was wondering about instagram as well ..if it works with your phone..i would so happily go back and forth between your words here..for i love how they meander..and your pictures there..but your presence alone is such a blessing lately..gentle day grace

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  14. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    You have a wonderful ability with words and drawings to show us your world so here is a suggestion for those times when you have to wait to post on your blog: In those moments when you are walking about, discovering and greeting the plant people, why not draw what you see. Your drawings give as much as your words and in that way, the immediacy of your findings would be recorded. When you are able to post, take a photo of your drawings and we then would be able to see what you saw on a particular day…just another way of communicating and with your ability, your drawings would wonderfully take us along with you, discovering the beauty and bounties of your land on the hill.

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  15. Linda Avatar
    Linda

    It doesn’t matter about the pics… just so good for you to check in with words. Breathe…

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  16. Angie Avatar
    Angie

    What a brilliant idea from Marti!! You have such an amazing ability for word crafting that our mind’s eye can easily see what you see.

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  17. Kristin Avatar
    Kristin

    Grace your words paint lovely pictures of your land, your life and how things are just going every day. Sometimes we get so attached to the newness of digital communication that we fail to sit and write…you have a distinct gift of prose that pulls the reader in to the story and with very little effort the reader is right there with you on your land. Thankful for your words…just reading the stories has shown me so much of your life there. And those little plants, related to sweet peas – the vetch family…so many here also have this sticky clingy nature and are quite the challenge to pull off the clothing when we walk through some when out for a walk.

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  18. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    marylou…nature is my salvation. since i was a child,
    when the creek became my mother. I love that you say
    that the truly huge challenges you faced and still face are
    a chance to learn. Just love that. Thank you
    and such a Big Bright Shining Love back

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  19. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    i love your good thoughts, but really, all of what is
    happening is part of Why I Am Here, Why i made the
    decision to come. In their own difficult way, they are
    needed.

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  20. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    it’s the weakness of internet connection here…Verizon.
    and Verizon is all that is here.

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  21. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    love that you said this…dependent on the visual, this
    helps me think about it all

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  22. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    i am encouraged to just keep going…thank you for this

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  23. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    just so so wild

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  24. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    it’s very good for me, to need to use words. I’d become
    very lazy when able to rely on the pics…thank you for
    your encouragement…

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  25. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    it would. but i really need to keep things in one place. It’s a journal here.

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  26. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    Anita…THANK YOU for coming here and leaving these words.
    yes….important…”not to re-create what was”…thank you.
    and a BIG and, i went to your website…How so Great!!!
    This came to me today when i am FULL with so much that
    is happening and you and your art…they were so significant to me…that you love what you do, that it is botanical illustration…i have been talking about my love for that for a while now, and here you appeared….!!!!!! And more,
    that i know where you walk…i was born and grew up in Michigan. I know your nearby forest. I have camped there.
    So, you are one of my “signs”. Perfect. Thank you times a zillion

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  27. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    things will change and it will all be just very ok.

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  28. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    i am knowing i think, now, today, that it’s all a part of
    how it needs to go. Much to be learned and understood.

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  29. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    thank you and LOVE, gentle Love back. I need to keep
    things, however they present, in one place. Am not
    a back and forth person. I’d get lost.

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  30. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    yes!…your words…drawing…documenting/witnessing
    that way…yes…and your words here just another SIGN
    because i have been talking about that to Alyssia, thinking about it and actually began a day or so ago,
    so this is why it’s important to wait…to get quiet and
    allow all that is possible to arise…
    this may become very important to the whole of it…

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  31. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    big Breathing LOVE to you, Linda….

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  32. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    yes…it’s great, and as i said, one of the “signs”…that she put it into words….another sign.

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  33. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    Kristin…”so attached”. YES. so attached. and IS THERE NEED?
    the vetch’s…aren’t they just the most amazing? The most
    brilliant GIFT of the Evolving Universe?…just magical.

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