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all that,  yesterday,  nothing new.  it's a familiar place,  that Wishing.  Wishing i would be how i am not.  

To be an artist,  an artist of anything,  requires devotion.  Requires that whatever it is,  is Primary in your day.  As it is for say, Jude,  Mo,  Judy Martin.   Their day circles their Art.  It's what they Do.   And i understand that,  fully,  but it doesn't fend off the intermittent lament.   i know there is the Potential.  in me.   But reality is i love too many things.  And most times i am ok with knowing that but sometimes….

today again,  i needed to be the Goatherd.  They are wary of going too far.  If i go ahead and call to them,  Come Come,  in that bright voice,  they do come.  And as long as i STAY,  they stay.  Goatherd.   I need to figure out a way to take the Cloth Making stuff with me.  so i can sit in the forest somewhere and Work.  

this Plant person is the next i wonder about.  As with Her,  this plant has evolved particular seemingly unusual qualities.  My sense of it is that there is REASON for that.   The stalk that rises above all the leaves is Tall.  Plant is maybe 6ft tall?  a little more?  Why?   

there was some chaos.  I fed the buck goats their alfalfa early.  I needed to go to the Lakeside store for ice and Buckwheat was yelling.  He has finally found himself having feelings about all those doe Goats running loose.   And i 

forgot

to cover the feed wagon with the tarp before i left.  When i got back,  there was OOna…IN it,  chewing away.  She'd jumped into it and there were others around,  waiting for an opportunity to do the same.  I turned on the hose…up behind the Travel Trailer and walked back down,  used it to startle her OFF and  covered it once again with tarp and bungie cord  and had to sit there a while because everyone that was waiting their turn needed to see that there wasn't going to be a turn,  they had to look, climbing up with their front feet to see that it was closed.  The wagon,  which is Big,  had gotten pushed ahead and over the tree root that held it in place.  First thing in the morning,  i need to see if i can reposition it.  So it doesn't roll into the Buck Forest fence.

Cinderella has something going on with her udder and butt hole.  We have been trying to apply medication.  She runs.  Alyssia spent an hour yesterday wrangling her and finally into their Rain Shelter, captured and sprayed with the medication.  She has kept to herself for a while now,  not going out to forage.  Has become thin.  Spent a while this eve,  watching for an opportunity to give her pellets while the rest were otherwise occupied.  They can hear a pellet a mile away.  Finally,  success.  Tomorrow, that will be easier.

 

 

 

 

 

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22 responses to “the chronic intermittent Lament”

  1. Michelle Slater Avatar

    I just read such an amazing poem and came over here to post it to you (near 2AM Wednesday morning and I’m up!) – but when I got here I got thoroughly into your post…the title is outstanding! ‘Chronic Lament’ deserves a poem or painting all by itself. Then I got all worried about the goats pushing the wagon into the buck fence, and the poor bucks all confined and then ‘Cinderella’ (((whew))) take a cloth bag of pellets when you want to be stealthy. Now the poem:
    “What we see is not the most important.
    Could dust rise without the invisible
    hand of the wind?
    Could a fan turn without any current?
    Could lungs breathe without breath?
    Tell me
    What is the shape of Love?
    How much does Joy weigh
    when held in the palm of your hand?
    Can you catch the Spirit of Life in a jar?
    All things seen depend
    upon the Unseen.
    All sounds depend upon Silence.
    All things felt depend
    upon what is not felt.”
    -Adyashanti-

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  2. jude Avatar

    I’m thinking I never wanted to be an “artist”, I’m thinking I wanted to be a farmer. Oh ha, love you grace.

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  3. joanne Avatar
    joanne

    To both Jude and Grace. I want to be either or both of you. But I must content myself being me.
    But I don’t think I ever want to own goats.

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  4. Els Avatar

    (ha … know that “I love too many things …” 😉 !)

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  5. Mo Crow Avatar

    (((Grace))) you need your own space to stitch, how’s your building going?

    Like

  6. Dana Webb Avatar

    The “Chronic Lament” also cycles through my life regularly. What am I doing? Why? How come I don’t work harder at it? Is it at all useful or important? What about the other things that need my attention? Slog slog. Your post helps me remember that life has its rhythms and the urge to create will niggle its way to the top of the to-do list.

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  7. Vicky Davis Avatar

    i love your goat stories! all of them standing up to see it for themselves…makes me laugh.
    a basket. take a basket with you, one that has a single handle. thrift stores are full of them. i also keep binoculars in mine, for the birds to see me better.

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  8. Liz A Avatar

    We are in Santa Fe … surrounded by art that takes my breath away. I’m both full of ideas and at the same time overwhelmed seeing what others have created (especially the petroglyphs … those incredible, anonymous, ancient markings). The audacity of art … that we might leave something of ourselves to mark our being. I can’t wait to get home and put needle to cloth.

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  9. Liz A Avatar

    “reality is I love too many things”

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  10. jaime Avatar
    jaime

    When I first saw your other mystery plant I thought it was milk weed. Or dogbane. with another plant in the background. Then I realized it was one tall plant.My mystery plant this summer has been sweet fern. Comptonia. It is pollinated by the wind, not insects. I wonder if that might be why your plant is so tall. Just think how far seed on that fluff could travel way up high. I don’t know. Just a guess.
    I’m glad you love so many things. That is what makes you who you are. I see you as an artist and a writer. I see you as more than potential. I see you as accomplished in YOUR life. And that, I think, is all any of us can be. You are much loved.

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  11. ² Avatar
    ²

    all this wonderfull words i’ll recognice all of you Inn these , aren’t we all artist, the one had just more focus than the other
    we breath the same creativity ” love ” for our planet ….and so on ,my lips smile , my heart smile

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  12. Deb G Avatar

    You’ve articulated this feeling so well…

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  13. grace Forrest Avatar

    i have written these words down. I will enter them into
    the Journal Book

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  14. grace Forrest Avatar

    it’s good to be loved. Thank you

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  15. grace Forrest Avatar

    i like You a lot. and Goats…well, you learn a lot

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  16. grace Forrest Avatar

    oh, Els…this thought has expanded in the last days

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  17. grace Forrest Avatar

    you were Right! a basket. I rearranged the ones that i brought here from the Storage place and now i have one to take. What a great idea!!!!!!!

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  18. grace Forrest Avatar

    i used to have some of the “doll” figures on Canyon Road.
    Santa Fe was always overwhelming for me.

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  19. grace Forrest Avatar

    what i am wanting to learn to know is how to understand the phenomena of evolving…as with this Plant…what brings it to accomplish this????
    and Ferns…in Winter here there are FERNS…i will be ready this winter to meet them. I arrived December 11 and was
    overwhelmed. This time i will be more ready

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  20. grace Forrest Avatar

    yes, we are. all breathing the same creativity.
    i love you, Maria,

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  21. grace Forrest Avatar

    it keeps coming to me…might as well greet it and sit down
    at the table

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