windthread

It's her second birth day today.   She has completed 2 years on this Earth in the circumstances to which she was born.  They say, some buddhist teachings,  and this is loosely put,  they say that at an appointed time,  the "soul" of  the deceased person  "scans" many possibilities and upon "seeing"  a particular copulating couple,  

enters.  to begin again,  to continue ripening karma.   

 my daughter,  Jenny the Pragmatic,  had a moment  once when she was probably 3.   We were around the dining room table,  me, the kids, my friend and co-worker Nancy who had dinner with us most evenings after work….Nancy and i would go on and on about what had happened at work that day,  off and on we would talk to the kids.  My son would have been one.  We had a White Russian and all was Good and Easy.  The white russian was while i prepared the meal.  That was a big kitchen.  Nancy would sit in the rocking chair and Jenny would hang with her,  my son would crawl around.  He liked feeling Nancy's legs,  she wore pantie  hose.  

we were talking as usual and there was a pause and Jenny said,  Care Full y and Clearly,  from her  highchair without the tray anymore,  Jenny said   "I flew and i flew and i flew.  I flew through the dark to find you."   Nancy and i stopped and looked at her.

  There was silence and i said…What?   And she repeated herself.  Exactly.   Nancy remembers this.

This soul, Emrie,  this Being,  loves everything.   Even the foods she doesn't like,  but will Try but then spit into the trash,  she says Goodbye to.   She loves her toys,  her water pool,  the Goats,  Tay,  Puppie,  and even Talkie tho she is a little afraid of her.  She loves grasses and Trees and Leaves and rocks.  She loves tools and pencils and crayons and sticks and metal washers that spin and pillows and string and bits of cloth.  She loves the people who walk past her house.  Alyssia said the other day that when a group of people walk by,  Emrie runs to the gate to say Hello and then is happy for hours after,  just because of that…the people walking by.   They live in a rough neighborhood, sorta.  Lots of foot traffic.  Walking to get their drugs.  To Emrie,  they are beauty full.   We talked about how Emrie is an Extrovert.  How we need to begin honoring that.  Taking her to places we might not go ourselves,  because she loves PEOPLE.

She loves big birds overhead,  the vultures that soar in circles,  Airplanes,  even when she can't see them,  only hear them.  Sirens of police cars and flashing lights.  Helicopters that fly low,  looking for drug grows or bad electric lines.    She knows the names of these things and CALLS LOUD to them….pulling on us to Call too….and wave

Emrie loves Everything.   They arrived in Houston.  I haven't talked to Alyssia but Jenny was here today and did.  She said Emrie LOVED the flight.  When Alyssia told her to look…see the clouds…see that they were IN the clouds,  Emrie at first covered her face.  But then she looked and was in AWE.  She understands these things,  somehow,   She understood that she was IN the clouds that we watch in the sky everyday,  UP  FAR.  She somehow Got it.

they are in Houston.  and i somehow didn't click,  but her father is a cop.  or,  Police Officer as we now say,  because he is her father.  She will recognize him,  somehow,  by smell maybe.  She will recognize the connection.  He will flash the flashers on his patrol car for her.  None of this will be lost on her.   The grandma there will take her to her church and reintroduce her to the congregation.   The aunties will dote.  They will all cook and play music and there will be all manner of things floating in the back yard swimming pool.

It's important to Alyssia that her children have strong ties to their fathers.  With the "Lupus" she can't be sure how life will go for her.  We talked some of that today,  Jenny and I and she said that it's good.  That she has told Alyssia that she would not want to "raise" her kids,  that she would like them to come for summer vacations,  but she wouldn't want to raise them and my Heart stopped and i thought….I WILL,  but then knew that i can't…i won't be alive.  

So…i am jealous,  of all the Great and GRAND commotion there of that Family  but i quiet myself and know too that it's Good.

Emrie picked well….when she flew and flew.   So many.  Love her.