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went down to B to the tubs there to find this.   a collaged front of a drawing pad.   over 20 years ago…toward 30,  from back in Ann Arbor Michigan.   It had gotten rained on and was warped with some mold.   But i went for that image in the upper right,  that girl.

 

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from the front of an Anthropologie Cataloge.   I remember seeing it and being startled.   How did they have  ME in a photograph there????????   

This is who i was.

in a certain way,  this is who i AM.

the post yesterday,    a response to feeling stripped of      AGENCY      .   in the sociologial sense.   The right of self determination.  Was FEEEEEEELING about that.   Emotion.   ANGER.

i have not felt 

anger

in a long time.  I feel many other things that have roots deep below anger.   Anger is fast and hot and immediate and leaves so much beneath it.  I have not had that.   But yesterday i did.  And so that  "movie"  of the HORSE.  of POWER in the moment which was exhilarating…in the moment,  but then GONE,   as emotion often is.

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7 responses to “a life”

  1. Acey Avatar

    sitting here contemplating my own analogies for anger. And wondering if emotions might be like that parable about the blind men and the elephant. Each feeling something different and reaching conclusions from just that touching-sense. But it could apply to emotions, too. Each of us touching some specific part of the emotion. defining it as such, if only for ourselves.
    but then in doing this “aloud” in a post your definition is shared as a frame for the luscious explosion of raw power-full articulation. I didn’t receive an impression of anger so much as feral lust. For color shown properly through light currently dimmed by clouds. maybe a little bit of rain-drain frustration not to be able to see/live in the colors properly.
    But now that you offered this frame I went back and re-read it as you intended to give it voice. Makes me even more sure you should seriously consider sending it to the we’moon people.

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  2. Acey Avatar

    happy solstice by the way. here, now, it just passed midnight…

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  3. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    In this first hour of the Winter Solstice, to all who come here, my favorite Celtic Winter Solstice blessing:
    Deep peace of the running waves to you.
    Deep peace of the flowing air to you.
    Deep peace of the quiet earth to you.
    Deep peace of the shining stars to you.
    Deep peace of the shades of night to you.
    Moon and stars always giving light to you.

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  4. Saskia Avatar

    jump for joy!
    oh and anger, I know anger
    sending love though XxX

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  5. grace Forrest Avatar

    it was the sense of impotence

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  6. grace Forrest Avatar

    Deep Peace
    amidst it all

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  7. grace Forrest Avatar

    Big Love back, Saskia

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