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I cleaned.   I cleared the Everything Table and it became an Eating table.   the battery went over to shelf in front of the Looking Cloth.  The books stacked next to me.   The bench on the other side of the table cleared of Cloth Baskets which were stacked in front of the door to the back room in the bathroom.   I strung the Beauty Full strand of pennants that Acey had sent a while ago.  It felt festive and spacious.  Fed everyone OutThere and put Talkie to bed.  Set the big pot of water to boil and fired up the oven for the baked potatoes and the Green bean casserole. Put together a BIG SALAD of everything.    New year's Eve at the old nana's.  They arrived shortly after dark.

It went as i'd deviously planned.   I'd gotten a small steak for Julian in case he might have issues with the crab legs.  HOPING he had issues with the crab legs.  He did.  and the steak got made first so he could begin as i dropped the first round of legs into the pot.  More for Alyssia and me.  Emrie ate a little i think only because of the melted butter.  Julian ate one.  Alyssia and i ate a LOT.  We ate and then we hung out.  Emrie sang songs and she and i painted our nails with my water brush  taking turns…her:  Now your turn.  Now my turn. Your turn.  her favorite ritual lately.  

 


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they left about 9.  We'd celebrated by the light of 7 flashlights and i clicked them all off.  Sat a while.  The lights had reminded me of being in India  50 years ago…peace corps…Diwali, the Festival of Lights.  I googled it.  "usually lasting five days and celebrated during the Hindu Lunisolar month Kartika. One of the most popular festivals of Hinduism,  Diwali symbolizes the spiritual "victory of light over darkness,  good over evil,  and knowledge over ignorance.'..wikipedia"

a sign.  my epiphany glowed  in my mind in neon.

got the calendar on a cleared space on the table.  This page is typical.   There's a lot.  More than ever of my life so far.   Too much for late and tired.  And i thought…Diwali…5 days.  OK.  I can take 5 days this time.  Go through it slow and in the light of the epiphany.   "an Aha! moment.  As a literary device, epiphany is the moment when a character is suddenly struck with a life changing realization which changes the rest of the story.  Often an epiphany begins with a small, everyday occurrence or experience." 

What if it's all just Evolution?   All the things that feel so difficult on the Planet today,  all symptomatic manifestations of simple Evolution.  Homo sapiens being just still at the beginning.  Even Eckhart Tolle said "evolve or die".   Maybe that's it.  And it is so simple but so HUGE,  so beyond conceptual thought that it all feels so imminent and "personal".   What if it's the story of Earth.  Whether we as a species can understand our Place in the whole of things.  Maybe we will.  Maybe we won't.  It remains to be seen.   And that pings off another Sign.  One of the essences Acey sent is  Sight Unseen.   !!!!    I find it on the altar and put 2 drops under my tongue.   Somehow it all is different now.   The     WORK    is to understand  the work of Steadfast.  It's too big for anything else.  But  learning Steadfastness….this i can do.  This i WILL do.   I can walk the days learning from the Mycelium under me…asking, listening,  doing.   and in the company of all who come here and in the company of all who will go too,  Sight Unseen.   There is a great relief,  a great opening of light.  Maybe humankind will.  Maybe it won't.  Earth however will continue its Evolving.   It's January 1,  2020.   20/20.  hindsight.  

I Love.  

 

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37 responses to “2020 the year of my epiphany ? Steadfast”

  1. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    I waited for this and I thank you grace:
    This first day of 2020, cold but oh so bright with sun. in the South, they eat black eyed peas for luck aka Hoppin John. For us, it has always been a tradition to pick whatever greens are available in the garden, to put in a broth, to have for our lunch on the first day of a new year: to drink the essence, to give thanks for what held in the dirt, that continues to give sustenance, to give nourishment. Swiss chard that seemed to wither, has a few leaves upright so were happily gathered. A sprig of rosemary floated on top because the rosemary, my garden sentinel, held through snow, frost, temps below 18 degrees.It continues, holding on, surviving, speaking of abiding… giving comfort in this fact but also reminding me that stilling myself, looking quietly and noticing does not mean, withdrawing…it means learning when more is needed and required.
    The front door opened, the sliding glass door in the kitchen opened, just for a few minutes because while there is sun, there is also cold but it is good to “air” out the house. Before me in front, an impulse gift from my family, who know that I have grown chiles here in my New Mexico garden but never managed the artistry to make my own ristra. On their way to one of their outings,while here, they stopped in a little family owned grocery here in New Mexico and found a chili ristra with my name on it…it greets me when I open the front door, its earthy red, is glistening chili shape, it holds so much, this humble hanging orb of red- beauty, artistry and nourishment- small thing, but huge in speaking of what drives the heart of family stories, of continued connecting and it all is a part of the whole of noticing and being present.
    For all who come to windthread, thank you for being who you are, for being present, for helping me to see further…

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  2. ² Avatar
    ²

    Grace and Marty and al of you ; thank you ” for support me / us by charing who you go/you life , who we learn to go on with our emotions and life the truth / face it , and the world count the years !

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  3. Peggy McG Avatar
    Peggy McG

    Love to all, Grace, your family, your animals, your earthly world, your community- my community -of your readers.

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  4. Mo Crow Avatar

    (((Grace))) may 2020 be a year of clear vision for our beautiful broken world

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  5. grace Forrest Avatar

    the ristra
    …so perfect a symbol of it all the red red
    of heartbeat, the skill of making Beauty to bless our
    kitchens and doorways, the fact that as the cycle of
    the seasons roll along, chile by chile they are undone
    and made into food that nourishes, body and soul.
    seed planted, Earth gives

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  6. grace Forrest Avatar

    Maria.
    to go on with our emotions and live the truth/face it
    BIG LOVE, maria

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  7. grace Forrest Avatar

    yes. Our community….it keeps on taking on an
    ever brighter Shine

    Like

  8. Acey Avatar

    Feel it’s important to contribute this right now.
    Sight Unseen has three flower medicine spirit components.
    MOST importantly – to ground cleanse purify and protect – Gardenia. I could write an entire book about this flower medicine spirit and the vibrational remedy. But really only need to say it is important. so so so important.
    This is the vibration that allows you to see “all of this is evolution” and then hold steady with that thought. As I was reading I heard L. Margulis saying in my ear “evolution is very messy.” Indeed. Gardenia is such a soft and graceful yet totally effective purification system in and of itself. So that’s the base.
    Secondly comes the influence of 3 deep blue Salpiglossis flowers. This bloom’s healing and illumination signature holds the vibration of third eye and crown – dark blue and hot violet- intermingled for Sight amplification that’s sought and acted upon for the benefit of All.
    Thirdly the Overstory essence: red-violet allyssum. Protection. Comfort. Bravery and Strength gained specifically through what you see and how you convey your discoveries. Gently and authentically lifted spirits. My friend calls this one “sparkling seeds of hope”.
    Love that this is going to post right after Mo’s wish/proclamation.

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  9. jude Avatar

    Happy New Year Grace

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  10. Irene Avatar
    Irene

    Happy New Year…wishing you good health and much happiness.

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  11. Liz A Avatar

    I asked G recently “Do any of your classmates celebrate something besides Christmas?” thinking he might answer Kwanzaa or Chanukah. He pondered a moment and then answered, “Diwali.” And I too ended up online to learn more.
    May we all learn more … accept more … be more than we have ever been. May we see the world with 20/20 foresight … and listen to the children …

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  12. Deb G Avatar

    Evolution, I’ve been reading about that recently. Diane Ackerman, The Human Age. Happy New Year!

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  13. dee Avatar

    Coming at things sideways this year hoping for epiphany but maybe expecting transformation by other means. I love the interconnectedness of your thoughts emotions land plants and rocks and the laying of it bare for all of us so that we become connected too. I will have to read again in the morning to garner the full import of this post.

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  14. hermosa Avatar
    hermosa

    YES, this is exactly what my new year’s greetings to friends and family has been….
    May we all learn more … accept more … be more than we have ever been. May we see the world with 20/20 foresight … and listen to the children
    here’s to 2020 vision in this new year/decade.
    well wishes,
    hermosa

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  15. grace Forrest Avatar

    evolution is very messy

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  16. grace Forrest Avatar

    to you, Jude. So very much to YOU.

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  17. grace Forrest Avatar

    Irene…
    you. good health. Much happiness. so much to YOU.

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  18. grace Forrest Avatar

    i love this so much, like beyond so much. THEY, the
    young ones. Therein lies the Possibility

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  19. hermosa Avatar
    hermosa

    Evolution. Whew, that is so large a concept, …. large means full of all possibilities being explained by “evolution”. It is a concept that both comforts and settles the psyhche. And it offers to absolve one/us from responsibility, as it explains it’s a natural course running outside one/ourselves. (very science observed).
    Ultimately we each must come to rest/terms with our part of the whole that we leave behind…..
    Grace, one BIG thing you offer to me, is deep ponderings. By your very simple life, you speak to Our complexity. I know I’m sticking with you Grace and this community in 2020, as it feeds me in all ways.
    big love,
    hermosa

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  20. grace Forrest Avatar

    be more than we have ever been.
    it’s the Children.

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  21. grace Forrest Avatar

    thank you so much. I knew someone “out there” is writing.
    Thank you so much for this link.

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  22. grace Forrest Avatar

    it’s all such a maybe. But some how, there’s a great
    free space in that.

    Like

  23. Tina Avatar
    Tina

    My grandson greeted me today by saying “ Oma you don’t need your glasses anymore “ . I gave him a confused look and then with his beautiful big smile he said “ Oma you’ve got 2020 “ . Happy New Year my friend ..

    Like

  24. grace Forrest Avatar

    like mycelium. ALL is required, necessary to the Whole. Each filament provides it’s part. This is US. Each a tender tendril extending Out. looking to touch
    Love you, hermosa

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  25. grace Forrest Avatar

    OH!!!! i laugh!!!!!
    yes!!!! here it IS, an immediate Response! HERE IT IS!!!!
    HERE IT IS.
    He said so.
    its Beauty
    we have fucked up but THEY WILL GO.
    EARTH is giving us a reprieve? Maybe? Maybe.
    so much love. like so much love for this. And for Them, we will be Steadfast.

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  26. ² Avatar
    ²

    and BEAUTYFUL aswel !!!!!

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  27. Els Avatar

    Deep thoughts
    and a happy New Year Grace !

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  28. Jan Rowan-Lovell Avatar

    Beautifully said ….the times we are in ….evolution….transformation….we have been knowing this for so long yet as we are further into it fear comes up for me….like there is no place to land that is not shifting…..when I did the 2020 Spell Casting yesterday through one of the Healing Justice’s podcast with Adrienne Maree Brown….I could feel how many of us are consciously aware of what is happening and I was so grateful…..one of my goals for this year is to deepen my connections with others who are living aspects of the transformation….to encourage and comfort all of us as life continues on ….to be gentle with myself and others…..to let go and then let go more…..what a time we are in! jan

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  29. grace Forrest Avatar

    this is so perfect…How it can go…the children….

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  30. grace Forrest Avatar

    so happy a New Year to you, Els

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  31. grace Forrest Avatar

    Jan…THANK YOU SO MUCH for this. the link to Adrienne Maree Brown (Octavia Butler)…so much.
    the links mean so much and as you say, to become vitally aware of how MANY are Working at conscious connection.
    and to link IN. it’s our mycelium, yes?
    Love and LOVE and Thank You for this so much

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  32. Jan Rowan Avatar
    Jan Rowan

    Grace, this year the Healing Justice podcast Spell Casting for 2020 featured Alicia Garza who I really like but I wanted to do the experience with Adrienne Maree Brown first so I did the repeat of the previous year….still available of the podcast…..love, jan

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  33. grace Forrest Avatar

    i will go here now. The trail of tendrils is moving

    Like

  34. Nancy Avatar
    Nancy

    Happy 2020 to you Grace. May we continue together. May we continue to feed, support and love one another into the ‘next’ xo

    Like

  35. grace Forrest Avatar

    Evolution is
    science.
    it is learning what we can about what there is. Not from emotion, but from real occurances. Cause and effect.
    Effect easier to define than Cause. But science works it.
    What i wanted to express is that it’s not emotional, it is so much larger than that, it is the Earth, the Planet, the Universe working with what it has to work with and doing what is needed.
    The coming to terms with our own part in that is our business, each of us. But the Earth, the Planet will see to its own necessity. With us or without us.
    and for some reason….that is truly freeing to me. I still am not clear why. But it is. If we can…how wonder full for US. If we choose not to…Cause and Effect.

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  36. grace Forrest Avatar

    yes. feed. support. love. This is our Work.

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