i read the prompt very early. There's a 3 hour time difference, right? and it was still dark and i put the kettle on for tea water and read it again and well…..i felt uhhh, sad. I felt blank when thinking of the term care package. when thinking about wants and needs that care packages have to do with. and i realized how all my sense of what i might want and or need in this world today has been altered so radically by things so far beyond my sense of , of what? beyond my sense of….anything i ever might have imagined. I realized how i live now with a great BLANK SPOT out in front of me. How i don't even go there anymore. How it's been easy to not live in the future because my sense of future has been stolen and crushed. I felt very sad. I thought that i wouldn't do this one, at least not now, maybe not ever.
but then….i trust Acey.
so after listening to two This American Life podcasts while i worked at creating a pot of chicken soup without garlic because i forgot to get some, and with only thighs, adding a ton on onion, making the sleeping bed go away, feeding all who rely on me for feeding, sweeping the floor, rearranging the overfull compost thingy, pulling my hair back and into the barrette, i cleaned the Everything Table and read the prompt again. and Again. 3 times. Nothing had improved. So i just got the baggie of scraps, the folders of images and began the ritual of Looking Through. Maybe's off to the side. No's in a pile. I had zero idea if anything would come. And then There. The central image of the Two of Them that are the Same but Other….how i'd looked at that many times now but this morning felt a flood of love for this image. And it went Easy from there.
i don't have words for this. I DO have Deep Feeling. Who is Who and does it matter? What's happening here? What has already happened? I really don't WANT words for it. I just want this. and i Really just WANT THIS. I've looked at it off and on through the day and i can imagine looking at it off and on through Many Days, like Many. Maybe there will be more articulated Story. But if not, just this. Just This is good. This is very very Good.
windthread 
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