this image won't make much sense but needs to be here for the purpose of Journaling. It is of ONE of the MANY, it turns out, the MANY Chaparral Whitethorns. Like MANY. Which were Invisible up to the last days. There, So much There, but unseen. And their relation to a Plant form that we have wondered about. Over and Over. That we have called the Eeyores. That we have wondered over….What WERE they before they became an Eeyore? It was all in Plain Sight. But we didn't see. Till the last few days. Now….Everywhere. Ask a Plant…receive an answer. Simple as that.
So. This now. Liz, i 'mgoingtoTexas version 2.0.blogspot.com , set it in motion. Marti with her heart and interest, got it moving. Acey was there, already. And we have the Herbcrafter's Tarot. Tarot was the last thing i was imagining to be in my days. So long since i spent time with Tarot. Acey's post of 2/25 Plant Geek Eyes.
following Acey's suggestion, i chose 3 from the Major Arcana. The Tower. it speaks of sudden change and i was not able to connect. There is CHANGE. profound Change, but sudden?, no…. and i related it to the Change in the World as i know it, and it does, but also today became more intimate and yes, sudden. I woke this morning realizing that Everything is different and i wanted to understand how. Everything about how i had imagined my Life. Its trajectory, it's possible accomplishments…..different. NOT as i had long held on to. Facing that. Asking. Wanting to know.
i have long held the DEEP hope that i had something to achieve. As a Maker. As a writer of words. Something to ACHIEVE.
i do not. This card, the Tower, speaks to that. Directly and plainly. I spent the day with thoughts about this and went off to the store down at the corner. Coming back, i began walking up the Road and to my left saw the flutter of movement. A butterfly. The same kind of butterfly i saw twice on the walk down the canal road to get Sunny the Truck. The same butterfly that was sitting at the topmost tip of a dry stem, a single dry stem, along and close down to the canal creek.
and i realized that what i would want most now would be to document this. In that book that Acey gave me. Where first there would be the Miners lettuce, then the Chaparral Whitethorn and it's other form, the Eeyore brush. I would want to say:
in the first few days of March. You can expect, along the close edge of the canal creek, a black butterfly with brilliant gold trim sitting on the top tip of a single dried stem of __________ (i still don't know that…what it is that it sits on, exclusively) (i will need to continue to watch, to learn what Plant it is. this will take TIME.)
so….my Tower, my life long Tower of wanting to be
and Artist
a Writer
has fallen. Exactly how these huge trees fall here. Almost silently. They just fall. And begin again.
windthread 
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