windthread

I'll leave most things packed in the truck bed…ready to go.  It's another month till Rain.   But some immediate things i'll bring in.  I began with this laptop and my purse which i always put on the floor of the passenger side.  There was no purse there. I felt under the seat…it was probably pushed back….no.   Searched the truck bed….maybe left there in the urgency of going to pick up the Goats?   I searched the truck 3 times,  the last very slowly.  No.  I messaged Alyssia.  Would she look there.  She did.  Not there.  So i spent the night,  this is Saturday,  waking every little while to a sinking feeling….all i could think of was that black garbage bag behind the old Morning Chair in my campsite in Alyssia's carport.   Remembered tying it up and taking to the dumpster.  Remembered that it had felt heavy.  Had i come back from Giving Water on Friday,  dropped it down there,  somehow inadvertently it got into that bag?  The circular repeating thought.  I had thrown my purse in the garbage.   in psychiatric terms…perseveration.   All my ID…that oh so hard won driver's license, bank card, credit card,  proof of vehicle insurance,  blank checks,  keys including the P.O. Box key and my address book that contains all manner of important information like for instance,  the recipe for The World's Greatest Pie Crust.   

and then…a message from Alyssia with this pic…."Look what i have"…….it was pushed into and under something in Emrie's room where i had piled my stuff.   There is so much to learn right now,  all the stuff going on….Chogyam Trungpa said  "practice like your hair's on fire"

so i spent time with this scrap that i'd found when crawling under the table to wash the floor. I don't remember ever seeing it before.