i settled into the Territorial Seed catalog. Because it appeared serendipitously in the Post Office Box this week. Spent the day filling out the order form which meant reading and rereading pages of plant descriptions; i.e. there were 14 snap pea possibilities. I finally got to adding up the numbers and i added 4 times and got 4 different totals. Not a lot of difference, so if i decide to do a mail in order, rather than an online, i'll just send a check for the highest total. Let them work it out. or not. Tomorrow i'll look at the online format. Maybe that. the math would be automatic.
and woven through all this was the thread of Nomadland. I said i am transfixed by the possibilities this film offers me at this point in my life. I thought about things i hadn't thought about in many years. and become aware that there is no longer any traceable time/event line. It is all just that thing of the "slide show" that i have in my head. I think and an image pops up, a still frame, like a slide for a projector. an image illumined on a blank wall. I look and then click and some other one pops up. There is no cohesiveness. Just MOMENTS. In Michigan at the beginning of Setting Out. Across country. Oregon, first destination.
Today i remembered how i bought the Ford Econoline Van, 1972. Dark green. i named her Fern. I bought her from a blind piano tuner and his wife. Was in excellent condition. Well maintained. Scrupulously maintained. He worked by ear. They had camped with her. He had just redone the brakes. There was a little sink and counter top. I would sit in her out in the driveway in Ann Arbor, burn incense, Nag Chapa, the one cohesive thing, the Nag Champa. I dreamed about going. About needing to look for an answer to the question of
What really, is real….about a life, about Living a life. What is the bottom line, the basic equation. A real life = What?
i looked up the word Cohesive just now. from the Latin word cohaerere, or " to cleave together"
windthread 
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