Working on building the garden bed at B and i turn the large, maybe 50 lb plastic covered cube of compost Up so i can open it. and there
they
were. on the moist earth underneath. Jerusalem Cricket. all in their plasticy glory, gold and black the striped Self, shocked to be exposed and completely STILL until i scooped them into one of the GrowBags just there. Then running frantically around the circle of the bag and i didn't look too long but went back to what i was doing, letting my body get over my own shock of seeing them. There's no way around it. They are shocking. Do not look at all real, are so much more shocking to me than any Huntsman Spider. Their face. Sometimes there would be some living in the water wells of the trees in New Mexico. Twice before here but this one the largest i've ever seen….the size of my thumb, the body…the legs more. When i did go back, they had hidden their face under a stone. Were still. Wanting a photograph, i tried to empty them out into that Yellow Bowl but they clung to the bag and ran and clung, ran and clung. I did this twice but they would not let go and when i set the bag down, crouched, face pulled in and pressed against the chest, legs tight against their body. Becoming as small and still as possible and i felt so bad. That i had caused that FEAR because i wanted a picture of their ugliness. It was late afternoon and Sun warmed, i moistened the bag and took it a distance away to the shade near the frame of the house where there is all that cardboard spread in layers to prevent weeds and sprayed that wet too. Left the bag turned on its side. Said i was sorry. it's hours later and i am still so sorry. Neither of us would have intended the meeting.

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