there's no point, no use to me going on about my current angst over having no god, no one to pray to. i have been pretty much well over it for many years and i guess maybe? it's the sensitivity to this current War…it's mindless cruelty…? that has me thinking words like fervently implore….. I accept that it's up to us, humankind to handle our affairs. or not. as it is up to each single one of us in our own small worlds. And that Intelligence in the universe that i still somehow am Feeling is Real, there, would not be someThing one would pray to. It is so much more than that, such a formless Energy, thoughts would be "received" even before they were fully formed…so….prayer is for us. and i think about that thought, prayer is for us. for ourselves. and i wish i could pray. I drew this morning…watched the graphite fall from the sharpened tip of my pencils onto the blank paper…felt all those marks appear….the "picture" really didn't matter, it was the appearance of the marks, how those marks Felt in their appearing and i thought that it was kind of like praying, kind of like a prayer and later when i went to the Garden to plant the first of the tomatoes, i saw then too that for me, going to the Garden is a kind of prayer. Whether i have energy or not, enthusiasm or not, i go. To see what is growing or what struggles, to see the tip of green of an emerging seedling or see again the blank and empty face of earth and somehow eitherway, i just am "better" for being there. And the dressing change for Sunny Ray this eve…Jeff came. He held Sunny Ray's head by his horns, i held his hoof down and in place, Alyssia did the dressing. Things moved along much more efficiently and quickly. When she cut the old bandage off, she exclaimed….for the first time, it appears that it is beginning to heal!!!! There is REAL hope, not just hopeful hope!
and this today, gifted by LaceLady. I have begun. Timing could not be more perfect.
windthread 
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